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Thread: What's Happening in our Caregiving World?

  1. #311
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    Pati dear, we are going to have to stop falling!! Yours sounds like such a bad fall, did you go to DR?

    I read your post about your Dad when I first logged on. I remember several times you had mentioned your Dad and was afraid something was wrong, but he would just say he was fine. This had to be such a shock for you.

    I'm sorry about your Mom to. From your past post I would think she would need to go to something like Assisted Living or maybe even a NH. I know it isn't pleasant to think about, but there are worse things. Please forgive me if I have over stepped out of line, but I care about YOU and know you have to take care of yourself!

    My mail isn't working but you can send me notes on BT, PM. Please let me know if I can be of any help to you.

    My prayers will be with you. I love you dear Pati, Jo
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

  2. #312
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    Pati dear, I have had you on my mind constantly. Some of us have been together for a very long time and you all feel like family to me. If one hurts, the rest of us hurts. Sometimes we have good thing's to share, we all are happy.
    You have had some very hard times lately and for that I am truly sorry. Please call on us whenever you need us.

    Pati, I'm a little confused about the date your Dad died. You could have posted and I may have just missed it. It isn't hard for me to get confused these days. My email hasn't been working lately and I didn't even notice. I think it is back to normal so please feel free to write me.

    We all have shared much on this forum and I miss the time here. I'm hoping all will feel free to post more. If it will help you Pati, please post. If you look back you will see I surely have posted a lot and it did seem to help me.

    Sometimes just writing it down and knowing we will hear you it could be a lot of help. So, anytime you feel like posting please do. I know it helped me.

    My prayers are still with you as with all your family.

    All my love, Jo (((( Pati ))))
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

  3. #313
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    pati ,

    what julia is saying is right.

    we are concerned about you. i'm concerned about your fall so close after the other one that gave you a concussion. what is happening with your housemate? is he okay?

    we are a family here. it does help to talk about it. i know things have happened so fast and maybe you haven't had time to process them. please know that we will be here when you want to talk.

    (((hugs to pati))),
    jeannie
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

  4. #314
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    my entire post just got deleted. will write later. thanks so much for all the support. I am Ok. please don't worry about me. cannot say I'm normal right now but doing Ok.

  5. #315
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    hey everyone !

    last thursday wasn't a good day in the nh.

    my mom was in the dining room getting ready to eat when i walked in. she always has her head bent when i see her sitting in her wheelchair. it's like her head is too heavy to hold up. she started talking to me and most of what she said was unintelligible. i could only understand the little words, like "me", "eat", things like that. when she didn't remember a noun, she just said something unrecognizable. i cut up her food and she was eating and i fed her a little bit, too. she put her fork in her coffee with some cabbage and mashed potato on it . then i stopped her from pouring her coffee over her lunch plate. how can a person be so out of it and still be able to live? i smiled at her and she smiled back. i wore a scarf that had lots of colors in it and she noticed that. her hair looked really nice because i filled out a form to have it cut. she has such pretty gray hair and it's so full still.

    i checked to see if they did the blood work that i asked them to do at the care conference a few months ago. they did it in august, i had forgotten about it then. her iron was lower than normal, but not too bad. her potassium was lower than normal, but also not too bad. i told the nurse to write a note to the doctor reminding him that my mom has a polyp and it is leaching the potassium out of her blood and probably bleeding a little. i don't want her to get to the point where her iron is so low that she needs to get blood. i suggested they do bloodwork on her every 2 months, so hopefully they can do something before it gets too low.

    my mom was singing in the dining room after she ate. i couldn't make it out, because she was so quiet. then i wheeled her into her room and she started singing louder... "will i be (something unintelligible), will i be your (something unintelligible)." i tried to recognize the tune, but couldn't. then a couple hours later when i was at home doing something, i realized she had been trying to sing "que sera, sera" by doris day. crap. i would get her a radio, but i know it would be stolen or the aides would come in the room to clean and change her station and my mom wouldn't be able to change it back.

    obviously she was having a bad day. i don't know how many more good days she has left. as soon as i'm done raking the leaves for the year, i'm going to get this room ready for her. i hope to be able to bring her home if she's close to dying. i want it to be a spare bedroom, anyway.

    i can't do anything about this, i wish i could, but i can't. i am powerless over this stinking disease, as are the doctors.

    thank you all for sharing and caring and walking with me ,
    jeannie
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

  6. #316
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    Jeannie, my heart aches for you. you are a good daughter. does the nh staff know you want your Mom at your house when the end is near? have you talked to the people @ hospice? it's all about the medicare money in the end,sad to say. wish my mom had the sense she needs so I could actually talk to her! still don't think it's Alz, but certainly some type of dementia.

  7. #317
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    hey pati!

    i have talked to hospice already. alzheimer's is a terminal disease. i would have to take her off all meds and not treat her urinary tract infections and she would die of blood poisoning, but i'm not ready to do that and i'm sure my sibs would not like it. i will let her be treated for urinary tract infections and pneumonis unless her cancer has gone to other parts of her body, then i will no longer prolong her suffering. it's such a fine line what to do at any stage, but i have a pretty good grip on when to withhold treatment and not let her suffer any longer. medicare pays for hospice. it is cheaper than drugs and hospitalizations and the cost of the nh if you bring your loved one home. it costs the least of all options. i'm not doing it cause of cost though, i just don't want my mom to die in the nh or suffer.

    i haven't told the nursing home of my plans, i don't think they have to know. i keep close enough tabs on my mom that i would know if she's deteriorating. if she had to go to the hospital and they said her cancer had spread, i would prolly ask how long they think she might have left and then just check her out of the hospital against medical advice, which is my right to do as her power of attorney

    pati, i remember you saying that your mom had thyroid problems and she was denying that and not taking thyroid supplements. here are some parts of an article that deal with the consequences of untreated hypothyroidism:
    Hypothyroidism is a potential etiology for multiple somatic complaints and a variety of psychological disturbances. The physical complaints are primarily related to metabolic slowing secondary to lack of thyroid hormone. Psychiatric presentations include cognitive dysfunction, affective disorders, and psychosis.
    The manifestations of hypothyroidism are varied and, to a large measure, age dependent. These abnormalities may range from global developmental abnormalities to acute metabolic derangement. Hypothyroidism is usually represented in the literature as a stereotypical cluster of symptoms, most typically fatigue, cold intolerance, dry skin, hair loss, menstrual irregularities, and constipation. Commonly recognized signs may include hoarse voice, bradycardia, nonpitting edema, facial puffiness, slow speech, and delayed relaxation phase of the deep tendon reflexes. In addition, psychiatric disorders often accompany hypothyroidism. Mental status examination of a hypothyroid patient may reveal a broad spectrum of dysfunction, ranging from mild attentional impairment to significant agitated delirium or psychosis.The onset of signs and symptoms of hypothyroidism is often subtle and develops gradually. This progression is particularly true in the elderly, in whom presenting signs and symptoms can be both insidious and diverse and are often attributed to aging. Hypothyroidism is a common disorder with highly variable presentations; no predictable progression of symptoms is apparent. Accordingly, diagnosis may be difficult at times without a high degree of suspicion. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC419396/
    ]
    it seems your mom has some clarity, but sometimes when you describe her, it sounds as if she's making things up. i just remembered the thyroid prob and maybe you can see if this fits your mom. if your mom had dementia, she would probably have more serious problems cause she's been this way a long time. this is just for your info and not a diagnosis from me. you'd have to get your mom to a doctor to see if this was her prob and it doesn't sound like she is willing to go to one. good luck. maybe your sibs could get her to go?

    thank you for caring and sharing and walking with me ,
    jeannie
    Last edited by tic chick; 10-08-2013 at 09:37 PM.
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

  8. #318
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    thank you Jeannie, yes I know not taking her thyroid meds is probably the reason for her mental problems. she has refused to take anything for years now. I told her to gain some weight-she said she feels good in spite of the fact she's so darn skinny. no idea what she weighs but guessing way under 100# and has no boobs now.

    My sibs are less than worthless. brother will be wanting her gone & sister stays so drunk can't even have a conversation with her anymore. sad situation all around! neighbor knows the family dynamic's enough to keep her eyes open. it's sad all around but I'm letting everyone know mom's not herself anymore & ready to go after my brother if have to-legally.

  9. #319
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
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    ​((((((((Jeannie)))))))))

  10. #320
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    just thinking of each and every one here. (((HUGS))) and hoping for the best and knowing even if you get the best, it is still hard to bear.

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