I expect, inside me at least, today will be very difficult, because I say goodbye to my family as they all leave for our family reunion trip to Walt Disney World for 7 days. My health has reached a point this type of travel is no longer possible and may even possibly be severely detrimental overall to my survival. The final decision was up to me and my wife, however, my doctor very strongly stated in his medical opinion with the severity of the potential problems, he would/could not recommend the travel.
When I look at the results of our 16 day Hawaiian cruise, followed by the holiday travel and then our 7 days at the beach; even my Army Airborne/Ranger attitude of suck it up and get the mission objective accomplished, doesn't help. The price is too high and the final results in the big picture too dangerous, regardless of the resort's accommodations and family understanding. Severe chronic pain, spontaneous severe exhaustion, cumulative sleep deprivation all on top of the side effects of the narcotic medications does not bode well for a happy successful travel experience. I know this, realize it, understand it, will adapt to it, don't like it because of the implied finality of my circumstances and ironically, I am at peace with the decision.
Things will never again be as they were in my life. I do not pine away in mourning, self-pity or living in the past, but rather evaluate, adapt, and overcome in creating an entirely new life for myself. That life is very short with the progressive degeneration so my situation is in constant flux. It all boils down to one simple principle in life and that is I have the absolute power to "choose" how to respond to the changing situations. I choose life and living to the highest level I can reach. Like I said, it is a "simple' principle in life but it is not an "easy" principle to execute.
I am blessed to have a couple of good friends willing to invest their time each day to stop by and check on me. Their times will alternate so I will have some one stop by in the morning, afternoon, and possibly the evening. This is a major comfort to my wife to wanted desperately to stay home with me. I emphatically rejected the idea feeling it more important she be with our grandsons for their first flight; major hotel resort; Disney; and Universal Studios World of Wizardry experiences. All of which will be remembered for the rest of their lives and she was there for it. And THAT my friends is my personal reward out of all of these circumstances.