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Thread: sharing with some awesome moms!

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    Default sharing with some awesome moms!


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    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    Thank You, (((((((Mary Grace)))))) for sharing this with us. I tried to include the photo, but it won't enlarge.

    When I thought about becoming a Mother to my sons, I had a completely different concept, because I didn't realize I was going to land in Holland.

    I was planning to teach my boys to play baseball, attend their Little League games, while also having a career in journalism or teaching. And their friends would hang out at our house, where I fed them homemade pizza and lasagna and awesome cookies. i planned to be the "cool Mom." I would teach my boys to respect girls, elders, and have manners. I'd send them off to college, and then they'd graduate, get a job, get married, have kids.

    Then, we landed in Holland. Times two.

    Still, I clung to many of those dreams for my boys, believing that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. That with the right therapy, medical care, interventions, and positive thinking, they might be able to do some of those things I had prepared myself to do with them.

    Ah ~ but we all know how it is in Holland. We rapidly learn the native language, and adjust our dreams to our child's needs.

    Instead of baseball, I taught my boys how to push a ball to me across the floor, to reach out to pop a soap bubble, to push a bowling ball off of a ramp and score a strike. Their friends were at school and day care, unable to gather at anyone's home after school, so I took the pizza and cookies and cakes to school for parties.

    I forgot about having a career, when my sole focus was having a job to support my children. And that was during our very tumultuous period in the 1980s. So, I was just grateful to have any kind of income.

    My children were/are my career. I'm a Professional Mother!

    I absolutely became the Mother my boys needed. And even though we lived in Holland, and our destination turned out different than the one I'd imagined, the journey has been amazing.

    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

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    As always Rose your words are always so beautiful and so true. The beautiful, caring, honest, teaching, and supportive words you write here make me believe that your love for journalism seems to have found a different, and very important place to shine. I haven't been here very long but I know how your words and experience have helped so many caregivers including myself. You HAVE become all that your boys needed. And I admire how easy you make it seem, even though I know it can be exhausting and stressful.

    Oh how I love the poem Welcome to Holland. What a beautiful way to explain the changes that take place. When we were told that Kathleen had Down syndrome, like you we just moved forward expecting to teach her all the same things we taught our other children. I would just take a little longer and some help from great therapists and teachers. She was walking talking running and jumping. All was well in "Holland" I had big plans of getting back into the work force when she went to school. I loved working with children. But then our plans were changed once again. A whole new plan and a whole new language. Kathleen's first stroke, then subsequent surgeries and series of strokes brought a very scary outlook. My fear of blood and hospitals soon disappeared and I began to learn a whole new medical language. Then we started back from the beginning with therapies... wheelchairs, walkers, learning to walk and talk again. Like you I never thought again about working out of the house. Our time was full of therapy, school, and appointments. We sill had our perfect little girl and I got to spend my whole day with her playing and laughing. I must say I did love volunteering at school when she was younger. It was a way of fulfilling my yearning to work with children and of course most importantly keeping track of what was going on at school LOL.
    Our journey has had many "curves" and rather steep "hills" but it's kept us strong. I continue to learn and grow through Kathleen. I appreciate all the wonderful people I've met through Kathleen both IRL and online.
    Mary Grace

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    ((((((Mary Grace)))))) ~

    Thank you so much for your kind words, and I am very thankful that my words and my experience have benefited you and others on our path. I feel that God blessed me with the gifts of my children and the gift of communication for a specific reason. God gave me an inquisitive mind, and apparently a neon flashing sign that says "tell me your story." That gift was useful in all of my jobs, but never more so than in my most important profession of Mothering.

    Because of my children's disabling condition, I know so much more about life, and the human condition, about medicine, about spiritual pursuits, about love. My boys have given me an extra dose of insight and empathy, which enables me to have compassion for others and compels me to be helpful to others.

    And I'm not implying that it's all sunshine, blue skies, and tulips in Holland. Sometimes, it rains. Torrents, hail stones, hurricanes, and floods. When it's all over, we have to replant our gardens and wait for Spring.

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey through Holland. It must mirror most of us who are (or used to be) here on CN. How we think that everything will be okay, and it won't be that difficult, and we'll just do more, and it will be fine.

    And then, BAM! Something happens, like Kathleen's strokes, and you can't believe it! As the years go by, one thing after another happens. One issue solved, another issue arises. It's a roller coaster ride.

    We become the Mother our child needs.

    None of us had any idea what it was like to live in Holland, until we landed here. And, while we no longer have the participation we once had here at CN, I think our Holland is well populated with incredible, strong, determined, and tough parents. I'm very proud to be a citizen of our Holland!



    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

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    My mom is also awesome. She always try to make us happy every time. In each and every moment of my life , my mom helps me to go ahead.

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