Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Something We Know About: Isolation and Solitude

  1. #1
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    954
    Blog Entries
    9

    Default Something We Know About: Isolation and Solitude

    Hi Everyone,
    If you have time, read my blog post from this morning - I know we all have experienced trying to make peace with being alone with our children.
    http://www.donnathomson.com/2014/01/...lence-and.html
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


  2. #2
    Distinguished Community Member andromeda31's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin!
    Posts
    664

    Default

    Hi!

    Great post! I liked (and agreed with) the comment that wrote about isolation being a forced thing and solitude being something chosen. I felt most isolated when Caitlin was so sick for those few years...stuck home not of my choosing. I have a lot of alone time now, but it is way different. Caitlin is doing well, kids are in school all day and I am alone at home. I enjoy my quiet time now though! I have social time by going to the gym and being out & about running errands. I do sometimes miss having Logy along when I go to places like the grocery store, bakery, meat market....all the ladies that worked at those places just loved him. :) It was very weird at first this year to go about town without him. So many people at the places I go even commented that they missed seeing him with me! It was also very weird to eat my lunch alone, I didn't mind having the house to myself all day, but that was the one thing that bothered me was sitting at my table alone. Now I mostly eat lunch at my computer (which is at the counter bar/desk, which is slightly lower than our kitchen counter). It is nice the patio doors face south so the sun shines on me then. It is still a different feeling though from when I was isolated at home due to kids being ill.

    Lisa O.
    Lisa O: mom to Caitlin (14-CP, VA shunt, seizures), Brandon (12), Tyler (10), Logan (7)...my babies are all getting so old!!

  3. #3
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    954
    Blog Entries
    9

    Default

    Hi Lisa, I was kind of worried about you when Logy first went to school. I really sensed that you would miss him and find yourself bereft at home without him. I'm so glad to know that you have adjusted to your new reality! I've been thinking all day that maybe our challenge is to find a way to embrace solitude within the state of isolation. I guess to find small choices even though you can't change the big stuff - just reconciling a difficult reality. I've been thinking too about all the stuff that's online about us taking time for ourselves and 'just saying no' and all that (a lot of that messaging comes from the Alzheimer's caregiving groups). But I think if you keep thinking along those lines, you will always be frustrated, always pining to be somewhere (anywhere) else. I think you need to reconcile the solitude and really learn to be OK with it, and THEN reach out to others in a real way when opportunities arise. Don't you think? xo
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


  4. #4
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    3,043
    Blog Entries
    1

    Thumbs up

    ((((((Donna & Lisa)))))) ~

    Great post, as always, Donna! I'm so sorry that you're battling this cold, and I'm praying for your healing.

    Lisa ~ I'm so pleased to read that Caitlin is doing well! I also wondered whether you'd miss Logy, which is only natural, but it sounds like you're adapting really well.

    Some folks think that our forced isolation is just awful ~ confining and limiting, because they can't conceive of the life our family lives every day. People have difficulty understanding that we are fine with our life, our isolation, our solitude. We understand and thoroughly accept why our lives are this way, and we're grateful for the time we had with Michael and continue to have with Jon.

    The alternative to our isolation and solitude is that Jon is no longer physically here with us. Some might think that would constitute freedom for me and Jim, but I wonder if the opposite might be true. Our entire marriage has been devoted to caring for our boys, and my entire adult life has been dedicated to them. I suspect we're going to feel lost. And because that's not a feeling many experience, we could become further isolated.

    My best coping tool for feeling isolated is drinking in the joy of my beautiful boys and valuing and appreciating the life that they have given to me as their Mother. They are the reason why God put me on Earth, and while I'm human and become frustrated sometimes, I love my purpose and all that goes with it, even the laundry and the unfinished house.

    And thanks to all of you, I'm not really isolated.

    Love & Light,

    Rose

    PS ~ I think "forced" isolation sounds inaccurate, for me at least. I wasn't forced into our isolated life. I chose this life. I suppose it could be viewed that my children's conditions "forced" me into this choice or that they dictate the need for isolation. Still, I'm not feeling like "forced" is the right word. How about "circumstantial isolation"?
    Last edited by Earth Mother 2 Angels; 01-11-2014 at 08:26 PM.
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

  5. #5
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    954
    Blog Entries
    9

    Default

    "Circumstantial isolation" is good! Or maybe it's the isolation of love, which seems to imply choice. Anyway, I do think that we learn to be alone and live at a slower pace when care for our children with disabilities (as opposed to caring for our able-bodied kids) which sometimes feels like a blur! I always described the love I felt for Nick as desperate love - I think part of why I felt alone was that he was in crisis most of the time. Who else could understand what we were going through? (except you guys, of course!)
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


Similar Threads

  1. Isolation of Prion with BSE Properties from Farmed Goat
    By flatfish in forum Creutzfeldt Jakobs Disease (CJD)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-09-2011, 01:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


BTC Inc's Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

The material on this site is for information & support purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice provided by a licensed health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything that you find online.