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Thread: Mild depression

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    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    Default Mild depression

    Is it possible to be in a regular, but not continuous, state of minor to moderate depression with occasional short periods, more days than weeks,when the depression goes deeper than that?

    I feel like a failure/regular guilt feelings and think my future is hopeless in terms of there being hope of improvement and find it hard to think of future goals, but am not suicidal and tearful .
    I find it hard to experience positive emotions and experiences fully but tend to have a heightened reaction to negative/stressful emotions and experiences(though depot has lessened intensity of reaction).

    Some asked me if my anxiety/depression was caused by external events or happened for no reason at all. I couldn't give a definitive answer but replied as follows:

    With me the anxiety can sometimes seem to come out of nowhere but at other times it's in anticipation of a definite or possible future event. Worst case scenarios build up in my head and i have this dread of things going wrong and being punished and/or ridiculed.

    Depression wise it's hard to tell, external factors can and do play a part in making me 'depressed' but i can also have periods when things are comparatively stress free and life seems hopeless and i feel like a failure.
    In the past i have had symptoms of major depression necessitating use of MAOIs and a couple of bouts of ECT and was on lithium for 20 odd years with a schizoaffective mixed type diagnosis.
    More than acute or easily recognisable depression as previously said i feel blah/have a lessened response to pleasurable emotions and experiences. When it comes to stress and negative emotions though it's a different kettle of fish.
    When stressed anxiety/paranoia/insecurity levels ramp up considerably and i become over emotional and possibly mildly psychotic- tend to become excitable and less rational.
    Luckily depot does dampen this down though i did have a mild blow out recently on another forum.
    I think what also gets me down is the severe social anxiety and social interaction difficulties and the fact that services spent years seeing them as secondary problems ie they focussed on treating what they saw then as symptoms of schizophrenia and then schizoaffective disorder.
    Then when they eventually decided to do something it was to go too far too fast or to use an analogy being deprived of food for ages and then when you are given food you are given too much for your body to cope with.
    Basically now they recognise i have problems in those areas but the attitude is ''you're not a danger to yourself or others,so don't expect much help and learn to live with it as best you can.''
    In fact the social interaction/anxiety problems have been the most chronically disabling when it comes to occupational and social functioning.

    Don't see myself as that depressed to necessitate going on anti depressants and as previous pdoc said a few years ago when i mentioned depressive spell 'I'm reluctant to put you on antidepressant because of possible negative effect on your moods' . This was after i had been taken off mood stabiliser and had my dx changed from schizoaffective to personality disorder.
    The implication being they no longer saw me as mood affected enough to qualify for a mood stabiliser and a schizoaffective dx but just in case,hedging their bets all the way,they best not put me on an AD.

    What makes it hard is that previous bad relationships with mh services make it hard for me to mention things for fear of going back to being seen as awkward/demanding/troublesome etc and though i resent the fact they did that and trivialised/dismissed stuff perversely a part of me has bought into that, and stuff i feel confident enough to mention here i feel worried about whether i am being silly if i think of telling them.
    Basically from a psychological perspective my parents started to screw me up and then along came mh services and just added to the situation.
    Also from a purely practical position it's hard trying to mention stuff when you have 20 minutes or less with the pdoc every 6 months and the previously described scenario re having depot which basically involves getting you in and out of the room as quickly as possible with minimal verbal interaction.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

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    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    Prot I can associate with you with some of the problems you are facing. I can't tell if you are under doctors care right now or not. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and anxiety disorders. Even though you are not tearful or suicidal does not mean you are not dealing with depression. I can't tell if you are pro medication or not but I encourage you to seek out your doctor and get re-evaluated. Medication does help me a great deal. I am able to feel "normal" and the anxiety and my paranoia is controlled. I know it hard to get your thoughts and concerns out in a 20 min or less appointment with a Dr. It may help if you write your symptoms downs and questions ahead of time. You deserve to be treated with respect so if you are not happy with who you are seeing try someone new. There are sincere people who will help you.

    I'm concerned for you and praying for at this time.

    Deedee

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    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deedeelyn View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Prot I can associate with you with some of the problems you are facing. I can't tell if you are under doctors care right now or not. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and anxiety disorders. Even though you are not tearful or suicidal does not mean you are not dealing with depression. I can't tell if you are pro medication or not but I encourage you to seek out your doctor and get re-evaluated. Medication does help me a great deal. I am able to feel "normal" and the anxiety and my paranoia is controlled. I know it hard to get your thoughts and concerns out in a 20 min or less appointment with a Dr. It may help if you write your symptoms downs and questions ahead of time. You deserve to be treated with respect so if you are not happy with who you are seeing try someone new. There are sincere people who will help you.

    I'm concerned for you and praying for at this time.

    Deedee

    I have been seeing a pdoc since i was nearly 17 and am now 54.
    I was previously dxed with schizoaffective disorder mixed type and indeed still take medication ie depot injection aimed at people with psychosis.
    I find it helps with some things(emotional reactivity,paranoia,weird thoughts) but not with others(drive/motivation/being able to think of and pursue goals,anxiety/social anxiety,social interaction problems).
    I am cautiously pro meds though think benefits are currently overhyped as are the benefits of non drug therapies.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

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    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    I am fortunate enough not to have to have any type of injections but I do five kinds of medication. I have tried to lower doses and have had to change some due to them becoming ineffective for me. I could not function with out them. Therefore I am pro- medication. I feel I am at proper dosage right now. I am able to go about my day now. We all must chose our own path.

    Too bad our chat isn't up right now , I feel we could have a good chat together.

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    Community Member Prot's Avatar
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    I went on injections because i had a poor track record of remembering to take daily oral meds.
    Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
    the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness''.

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    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    I use a weekly medication pill box that has boxes for am and pm dosages. I set it right in front of my computer so not to forget to take them.

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    My husband suffers from depression, he easily gets weepy and sometimes lashes out for no apparent reason. He did go on Zoloft a few weeks ago and it appears to be helping. Anything else I can do to help him?

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    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    Hi CrystalSword,

    I can only give you advice from the prospective of the depressed person. Every person's experience with depression is different. Remember it may take 4 to 6 weeks for the anti-depressant to be fully in his system. It may have to build up in his system. I was on zoloft early in my experiences and found it to be very helpful. I used it for years. One of the things my family did was to educate themself on what I was going through. They did this by reading and they also found classes that NAMI (National Association for the Mentall Ill) put on and attended them. They found it to be very useful, informative and supportive.

    The best thing you can do is just be his best friend. Which I am sure you are. Find your own support system too. Make sure you take care of yourself because living with a depressed person can be very exhausting. Try not to take his moods very personally because being depressed can sure bring out some extremely bad emotions. Being a good listener and having patience will be to your advantage.

    I hope that this experience will be short lived and that the zoloft is what will help your husband get through this trying time.

    Prayers and best wishes for you both,
    Deedeelyn

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    Thank you, words of wisdom indeed. I think I'd like to try and take him fishing tomorrow.....I don't have any equipment but the dogs and I can play on the bank and just be there for him.

  10. #10
    Community Member Deedeelyn's Avatar
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    Hi Prot,, Keep us posted on how you are doing. Would love to hear from you.

    Hey CrystalSword, Were you able to go fishing? How was your holiday?

    Dee

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