in a bit of a crisis
My dad found out something extremely personal about me (it is a bit gross), and this has been extremely humiliating, way worse then just something sexual.
On top of this, my mom wont talk to me now (for numerous reasons), and I had a good friend die recently.
My relationship with my dad is going to be ruined, and I dont know how to fix the situation with my mom
Roadracer, life gets mighty hard some days, but we just trudge on and the storm will pass. At least thats what I will pray for.
Try not to stress so, but that is hard too. Maybe you just need some time to take to stand back and think of all the good things in your life. Don't try to settle things all at once, just take one thing at a time.
Just draw some strength from all the loving people that post her in Emotional Support. that's what we are here for, to help one another, eh?
Hang in there and take it slow and don't try to settle everything all at once.
Take care dear, Jo
Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings
for my brother Ben
roadracer,
first of all, you are the SAME person you were before your parents found out this secret about you!
second, if your relationship with your dad is ruined and mom won't talk to you, that is THEIR problem! if you did something illegal, you would answer to the law. this is something personal. your parent's have a CHOICE as to how they react to it. what they choose is not something you have any control over.
third, if you don't like what this secret is and it is something you might be able to change, why don't you see if maybe therapy can help? if it's not something you can change, then you have to accept it as part of yourself.
it might take your parent's some time to think about this and other things and they might choose to talk to you in a while. you don't have to push or beg them to do anything, just give this a little time to settle down and maybe your parent's will approach you if they are concerned.
roadracer, how are the other problem's doing that you had a few month's ago? were you able to find a doctor who would treat you or any kind of financial help to get treatment? i am still concerned about that.
just have patience on this secret issue and see how things play out the next few weeks.
hugs,
jeannie
Last edited by tic chick; 10-07-2012 at 03:16 PM.
Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
"The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
"Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
"...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney
roadracer i am so glad you came here to talk with us. i have done things years ago that if I recall them even today, I am ashamed and embarrased at myself. take care. parents get older and crankier and set in their ways. I know this all too well roadracer as i am older than dirt myself.
Thanks for the replies, I am going to try to stay positive
Nothing illegal, just one of those things that should't be a issue, but is only because it very socially unacceptable!Originally Posted by tic chick
Sorry I didnt reply. I did end up getting health insurence, and was seen by the doctors I needed to go to. I have had most of the tests done, and the conclusion is that it is probably nothing life threatening (I say "probably" because they cant be fully sure). The doctor seemed to think that these things might have been triggered by some sort of infection or illness I had in the past. There are a couple different treatments, medication and modifying the way I do things to prevent "episodes". The medication actually made things worse, so no medication, I just have to adjust to doing certain things differently. For instance, like the different movements I make threwout the day, like the way I get out of bed, and stuff like avoiding bending over, and instead have to squat to pick something up off the ground. I have returned to exercising, and everything seems to be going good. Still waiting for a couple tests to be done, one is a sleep test, and other has to do with exercise.roadracer, how are the other problem's doing that you had a few month's ago? were you able to find a doctor who would treat you or any kind of financial help to get treatment? i am still concerned about that.
Just about everybody has things in their past they pray never gets revealed, even your parents........ Trust me on this one!
I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........
Roadracer,every family goes through some rough times. you will get through this OK? parent's make mistakes too! everyone does at some point in their lives,cause nobody is perfect!
thanks for the update on your physical issues. sounds as though you just might improve soon? hope so!
as a mother myself I realize there are parts of my own son's live's I'd rather not have knowledge of. and as a 63 yr old daughter there are certainly things I will never share with my elderly parents.
too bad someone saw fit to tell your secret. here's a word of wisdom to share-unless you want something known-never tell a secret. (that's assuming it was told of course).
unless your parent's live in isolation they must be aware that what is acceptable social behavior these days has changed 180 degree's from when they were young.you are your own person afterall!
Good Lord it seems it don't just rain it pours. I am so sorry that distance has come between you and your family. I am with Jeannie on maybe therapy. Then maybe if you wish when you are comfortable maybe bring in your parents. Not to so much bring out the actual deed but more to make your parents understand that you are still the same person. Everyone has their secrets.
I think it will take time and jeannie was right if they aren't accepting that is their choice and their loss. I pray that the healing comes quickly.
roadracer, we all have done things that we are not proud off just let it go. As for your parents they will survive and so do you, they are older and set on their ways, I know, been there done that. When I started dating my hubby my parents where good, then about a year later they just flip and decided he was not good enough for me, they told to stop seen him or move out, of course I moved out, they were mad as hell but finally decided to accept and I moved back home. Well, they tough it was going to change and i was going to leave him, but a few months later we decided to get married. I wanted to just go to the court and do it, we were both adults and did not need legal permissions. My hubby said that the moral thing to do was to let them know, I told him that he would go by himself since I knew how they were going to take it. And I was right, my mom flip and my dad packed my stuff and threw me out, we did not speak for over a year. Now, my parents adore me hubby and depend on me to make their decisions. Of course, they relationship still testy since things were said and done that are very hard to forgive but they are my parents and we are getting along.
It might take them time but things will get better, I promise. Meanwhile do not stress, just call them once in a while send birthday, christmas and all holidays cards and let time heal the wounds.
Last edited by LaBella; 10-09-2012 at 05:32 AM.
Thanks everyone
Seems like we have moved on to new battles. I guess my relationship with them was highly strained to begin with. They are always finding new ways to hurt me for whatever reasons. I have lost any bit of respect I had for them. It has gotten to the point that I could move out, and not talk to them.
Sorry, forgot to say that I live with them
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