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Thread: My Dilemma

  1. #1

    Default My Dilemma

    Hi Everyone

    I haven't been on here for a while, hope everyone is doing great.

    Just wanted to get your opinion on a little embarrassing/sensitve matter. I had a SAH in DEC 09 this was clipped and have one 3mm remaining in the basilar artery which is being monitored.

    I came across this article (see below link) and am very anxious about sex. As my SAH in DEC 09 happened during sex I've been so worried that since then I have refrained from this activity but abviously miss this in my relationship with my wife.

    She is understanding and is worried too but says we cant stop living, what do I do?, accept the risk and go ahead or refrain from it for the rest of my life or until the other annie is fixed.

    Thanks, look forward to your thoughts.

  2. #2
    Distinguished Community Member Beachgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Gold Coast, Australia


    Hi MBC, welcome back!

    I can totally understand your hesitation regarding sex because of your SAH, but do you want to live the rest of your life in fear, to be controlled by what may never happen?? I hav a 7.5mm unruptured aneurysm that is inoperable, but I don't allow myself to give in to fears. This is not living, it's just existing. I would rather live a full, rich life, experiencing all that I can - whilst still being mindful of the aneurysm - than to live a half life. Yes, don't drink soda (it's incredibly bad for you anyway, regardless of aneurysms!), limit the coffee intake, watch your heart rate - do gentle exercise eg walking, yoga (although mind the upside down head poses!), keep your blood pressure at a good level, avoid stress...but don't miss out on experiencing the love shared and expressed between you and your wife. Don't stop living and experiencing all that life has to offer!! None of us know when our time is up - all we have is the here and now, this very moment in time. It is awful and so unfortunate that your SAH happened during sex, but as the article states - it may have been about to rupture anyway.

    Have you had a chat to a counsellor about these fears and ways to challenge them? I have found ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) has been really helpful in life in learning to accept and deal with what life throws at us. I have studied the philosophies of Buddhism for over 9 years too which has completely changed how I look at life and deal with things. If it is thoughts that you find are the most challenging, there is a brilliant book called The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris that has so many helpful tips and great advice on challenging unhelpful thought patterns. Meditation is also a daily practice that gives immesurable benefits to my health and mind too... :) You can also be in charge of your health by having a really good diet full of lots of leafy green vegetables, green tea..I could go is just soooo important to managing your health, BP, stress...make sure you get enough sleep too! Balance in life is the key to a healthy body and mind.

    I guess I'm trying to say - Be mindful, not fearful...

    Sending you lots of peace, love and light,

    Nat xx
    Last edited by Beachgirl; 07-23-2012 at 03:18 PM.
    To see a world in a grain of sand,
    And a heaven in a wild flower,
    Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
    And eternity in an hour. - William Blake.

  3. #3
    Distinguished Community Member Ging's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    Hey MBC, welcome back , honey you got the best reply from Natalie, she speaks her thoughts in a way that makes sense and from the heart.please talk to your neurologist and get his take on this, I know it is scary , maybe if you did a stress test.... and nothing happens to your b/ p then maybe you would feel more comfortable . Please talk to your Dr., you survived to be able to live and not just exist as Natalie said. Good luck and happy dreams , GING

  4. #4


    Hi Nat and Ging

    Thank you both ever so much for your replies. Natalie what you have said does make a lot of sense and has been very helpful, I will look into ACT and The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris. I'm trying not worry too much but am finding it difficult.

    Ging, thanks for suggesting I talk to my NS. I did contact him via email and asked him 2 questions one about the situation we've talked about and the other about flying, please see his reply below:

    "I appreciate that it can be difficult asking some questions with other family members around.
    These are difficult issues to be categoric about.
    From the point of view of flying, the risk of a further bleed is not known to be increased providing you are in a scheduled aircraft. Of course if you do travel, it is important to have appropriate travel insurance.
    The issue of the risk of further bleeding associated with intercourse is very difficult. For the majority of patients, we do not suggest cessation of such activity. A significant number of patients do present in this way, and I think the risk of further bleeding is very small. However, the risk is not zero, hence the article in the daily health news. It is suggested that the risk of bleeding associated with blowing your nose is greater than with sex, and you cannot stop blowing your nose.
    I think therefore this is a life choice. The risk associated with sex is virtually impossible to define. The risk of further bleeding from the remaining lesion is as you know very small. I would draw your attention to the ISUIA study for further details.
    If you would like to meet to discuss further please let me know"

    To me it seems there are no guarantees when it comes to brain aneurysm, now I guess it's down to me whether I will be confident enough to move on.

    Thank you both again, I really appreciate the time you've taken to reply

    Take care, Love Mo

  5. #5


    There is nothing that i can really add to the advice that Nat has given you.A year after my rupture that was coiled, i was tolded by my Neuro to get on with my life,do things reasonable,not over do them.But since i turned 51 this year not to worried about overdoing it (lol).

    Good luck to you
    Jimmy C

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