Exposing my child

[houghchrst]

lots of booze and smoking and they aren't real careful because their kids were raised around it. So was I to a point but look what happens. Both families are filled with addiction, mental illness so the last thing I want to do is raise my child where everybody is drinking and smoking pot and looking like they are having a good time.

I posted this in the ES forum but as I am typing it I am thinking that there is no reason to give my Shortcake the impression that there is something wrong with drinking occasionally, at the bar, at family get togethers. I don't see anything wrong with it and the way things are going it seems that Marijuana will be legal in my lifetime. I see not much wrong with that either as long as it is discreet and you don't act a fool around the children.

He is at the age where they talk about it at school though they don't know really what they are talking about when they act goofy and talk about being on crack Hell a good 98% of the population has no clue what being on crack is like. All those movies that show marijuana smoking are very exaggerated and ridiculous. As for the smoke being dangerous tests have shown that there is no added damage between those that just smoke cigarettes and those that smoke both. There are also ways to 'smoke' it where you are not getting the toxins just the medicine that is released by heat.

Anyway maybe it will be easier to teach him by exposure rather than not at all. I know what happens to many of those that grow up in households where it is never talked about except to say don't do it.

He has no clue that I use MMJ for my pain and anxiety. We have talked about marijuana use and pills and drinking is stupid. We have a family full of addicts so it is not like there is no way for him to be exposed. He quickly loses interest the more I talk about it so our conversations are more like mom starts talking, he answers and then mom talks more then he says 'I know, I know' lol and changes the subject.

Ugh trying to raise a child these days just gets harder and harder, more and more dangerous. I think a couple of the best things you can do for your children is to teach them to respect themselves and others and instill a tender heart. I think most everything else will follow.

[Leeaelle]

I have to agree with you Chris. When my daughter and I talk to granddaughter, it's the same reaction. They get all this information at school, so having a conversation about it at home is just repetitious. And the fact that I'm a recovering alcoholic, she's heard me "harp" about it for years. LOL I've warned her about the dangers, and told her that she's at risk, etc. Plus her own father is a practicing addict right now, and she recently saw what at idiot he made of himself and how it was affecting his 'new' family. It disgusted her, so I'm actually glad she got to see it. Where she goes to school is FULL of dumb students using, and that scares the daylights out of me, but what can you do? It's all over in this area. It wouldn't matter WHERE we sent her. So you're right -- it IS dangerous trying to raise a child these days. I long for the days when I was growing up. It was so much simpler, and SAFER. We sure didn't have to worry about this stuff, and we kids were safe on the streets, etc. Things were so much different. Aaaaah for the "old days." LOL Take care. Hugs, Lee

[houghchrst]

I tell ya the best thing that I ever did for my son and his father's relationship was let him go down to Georgia and let him stay with his dad. It has just been a year and B has discovered that his father is no father at all. He has right out drunkenly told his son that he hates him, he wishes he would have never come down to live with him, and he has done nothing that he promised to do, to help my son with a job, transportation, college or anything else that they he told him, to get him to come and stay.


In a way I am almost glad that he got busted down there with that little bit of pot and had to stay because when he got fed up or mad he just would have come home right away and never got to experience the true lengths and depths of lowly ridiculousness that is his father. B has matured quite a bit and I am hoping to get him home here within the next month or two. Then when he is safely home I am sending his exfather a nice long letter letting him know how I feel on the rare occasion I talk to him and he calls me hon and that I know all of the horrible things he said to his son. GGRRRHHH.

I do believe that B and his father will never have the relationship that my ex thinks they have, he is totally clueless, and in the long run only one person will be hurt by that and it sure won't be B.

[Leeaelle]

I haven't posted much to this forum, but i read all the time. I think what you did was a good idea. My granddaughter saw first hand how her Dad was killiing himself on drugs & alcohol for a 2 day visit. She got a rude awakening, as he had always been her HERO. While she was there, he paid NO attention to her, didn't bother to see that she got fed or taken care of in ANY way, and in fact she ran away from his home and called US to come and get her. I don't think he even knew she was gone! He was totally wasted. The trouble is, he had 3 other minor children in the home that hadn't been fed in 2 days! We called the police on him, and get this -- the just laughed!!! But they DID send Child proective services, so that's something.

I'm just glad that my granddaughter's Dad isn't her "hero" anymore. He's a slug, who hasn't done a darn thing for her in over 7 years. Nothing for her birthday, nothing for Christmas -- nothing. Like I said -- a slug. I can only hope he gets busted before he dies because that's coming and soon.

Granddaughter is in therapy due to his non=contact. He used to be a great dad, and then NOTHING. She can't get past that. Boy what drugs & alcohol can do to families & children. Pitiful. Take care all. Hugs, Lee