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Thread: Sharing the Care - the latest on my Mum

  1. #1
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    Default Sharing the Care - the latest on my Mum

    http://donnathomson.blogspot.ca/2012...re.htmlLooking after a child with severe disabilities, then having another baby, then helping to look after an ageing Mum have all taught me some life lessons about surviving the caregiving experience.

    Here are a few essential truths I have learned from experience:

    - No one can give good care by themselves. A team is necessary.
    - It's easier for everyone if there is some income available in order to do a combination of publicly and privately funded help. An absence of disposable income for private service providers of all sorts will simply mean more work for the carers (not impossible of course, but more tiring and the risk of early burn-out is greater).
    - Household chores need to be considered in the big picture as well as professional must-do daily lists. Care for a loved one cannot be viewed in isolation and apart from other life responsibilities.
    - Friends, family and professionals (ie the team) need to be coordinated and a system for efficient information sharing must be in place.
    - One friendly person (I call this person 'the champion') in each agency involved in care must be identified.

    These are some lessons learned that have bubbled to the top of my thoughts today after spending the last couple of days with my 90 year old Mum in a Montreal hospital where she is isolated due to the super-bug C-Difficil. She's a tough cookie and she'll recover, but good wishes and prayers (if readers are so inclined) will always be appreciated.
    Mum.jpgMum.jpg
    That's Mum having a laugh, as per usual.
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


  2. #2
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    ((((((Donna))))))

    Your mum is beautiful and her dress is lovely. Did you get your passion for fashion from your mum? I pray that she is continuing to improve and will be back to normal very soon.

    I have written two responses to your post about caregiving, which I chose not to post. In both, I digressed to political observations. Apparently, I cannot discuss caregiving without delving into the politics of it, because I am and always have been deeply embroiled in those politics as my sons' careprovider.

    All of the essentials of caregiving, which you listed, devolve into a political setting for me, as we are dependent upon state and federal programs for Jon's needs. It's been this way for 42 years, so I cannot separate myself from the politics to thinking outside of the box. I no longer idealize how careproviding should be regarded, supported, or funded, because it is worse now than it has ever been.

    The primary reasons why Jon receives what he needs these days are that they don't expect him to live very long, and it's less expensive to support his care in the home than it is in ICU. Sad, but quite true.

    So, now I've done it again, by way of explanation! I just can't escape it!

    I just didn't want you to think that I was ignoring your post. I simply couldn't respond without getting deep into political issues surrounding careproviding.

    Healing prayers going up daily for your mum, Nick, you and your family ~

    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

  3. #3
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    Oh yes, Rose, boy do I know that caregiving is an essentially political topic, that's why my blog is called "The Political Caregiver" - and I do believe that old feminist adage, "the personal is political"! But care is of course, not part of the usual political discourse and I am trying to nudge it in that direction. It is so central, yet it is ignored as a debatable issue for all political parties. Well, our society is ageing and so we'll see if that reality gets it on the agenda.
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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