Jan you did perfectly right by the kids now you mustn't let it bother you any more. I am so glad you are safe and yes it is hard to see what is really happening when you are in the thick of it. I am sure you feel horrible about Hank being there and seeing him wanting to be home and not having a clue what is going on has got to be hard on you. Don't let guilt get the better of you and don't let him try and make you feel guilty to come home. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You are doing what it best for the both of you. Has any type of therapist or social worker come in and talked to him to get him to understand what is going on? I mean I know he is processing as best as he can but having someone besides family come in might help.
As for the missing link at church, you might want to remind him that his behavior is not exactly Godlike and is very insensitive.
Now.....breathe deep and slow......in and out. Enjoy a few moments of peace and quiet and that guilty little bit of relief that for a few moments you can walk around the house naked without getting groped.