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Thread: Here's what happened

  1. #1
    Distinguished Community Member JanM's Avatar
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    Default Here's what happened

    On 2-2 the VA mental Healh dept. gave Hank Loxapine 5 mg. He took them on Thurs and Fri. On Sat he decided that he want beer and drove to the next town and got a 6 pack. I didn
    t give him his pills that night. In the past, Hank would drink his beer and go to sleep. Not this time. He went to bed at 8 pm and talked until after 3 am. During this time he would get up and look for me. I was in the living room on the recliner, then he would acknowledge me , grumble because I was still up. One tine, the last time he looked for me he tried to take my pillow from me but I didn't let him have it and he double slapped me on the cheek, then went to bed and settled down. On Sun he had his pills. On Mon afternoon (I don't know what was said) he stood in front of me and ripped off my glasses and doubled up his fist and threatened to slug me. I just looked at him and he back off. I then called the VA to see if the new pill could cause this behavior and told them what had happened. The VA called our county's sheriff's dept and an officer came over and talked to Hank. At first he was huffy with the officer then calmed down. Since I couldn't leave and I didn't want Hank to take the truck I said that I would let him stay. Hank was livid after the officer left and called me every name in the book and included my mother in on his tirade. Then he went to get more beer. When he got home he had forgotten the entire cop visit. SORRY I AM FALLING TO SLEEP I WILL PICK THIS UP LATER (I'm OK)
    '
    I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........

  2. #2
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
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    Oh Jan I am so sorry. How awful for you. Sounds to me like a reaction to the meds. Is it his usual behavior just increased or is this totally out of character. Jan he may hurt you and not even realize what he has done. I am talking serious hurt. Bad enough that he is being abusive but he could seriously hurt you and leave you layin' somewhere in the house not able to get help. He may forget and go about his business until he comes across you again. Isn't there family you can call to get some help. I don't know what they would do but at least you will be letting someone you know that you may be in danger. Has the doctor said to quit the medicine? I would think so. I hope you get a good rest and things calm down.

  3. #3

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    Hi Jan

    So very sorry to hear of the problems you are having with your husband.

    I went through a similar problem with my husband a few years ago. So I know how scary it can be. Anyone will tell you that you have to put yourself first now. The decisions that you need to make canít be put off much longer.

    Could that med the VA Dr. prescribed have contributed to your husbandís behavior? I believe yes that it could have. It is one of the older psychotic meds. I am surprised that it is still being prescribed.

    If your husband is drinking (even beer) it could be having a double whammy.

    On the alzheimers board there is a little discussion on psychotic meds being prescribed for the elderly. If time allows take a peak

    Please take care. I hope you can get a relative or friend to try and help you with this. I know the VA (at least over here) has day care programs that might help. If not there should be a social worker that you could talk to.

    Your husbandís thinking process is not working .

    This is a safety issue for you. Keep yourself safe.

    Prayers coming for you and anyone else in this situation.

    Take Care

    mrs j

  4. #4
    Distinguished Community Member JanM's Avatar
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    Part 2

    He was in the den drinkong and complaining about being by himself so I asked him to sit in the living room with me. He brought his beer and sat across the room form me. All he talked about was how much he loves his 7 kids and how much he misses them (he hadn't seen or spoke to them in years & years, but one and it's been a while since he had asked me about Hank in an email) He also spoke of their mother and said that he came close to killing here. I told Hank that she had died in '04 and he was happy; then he was telling me how the army trained him to kill with his bare hands. There were other things too, but he would repeat all of this time and time again. I had alled my sister K when he went for beer and she call my sister V, During the tie I was talking with Hank V called and I told to call bak, she did an hour later and then again an hour after that. I asked Hank if it was alright to talk to V and he said OK. Since it bugs Hank the way we carry on I went into the bedroom and talked when he left the LR to go back to the den I want bak to the LR. Hank decided to go to bed and I could hear him saying that the only reason I was on the phone was I was talking to a guy. He came into the LR with a fist shaking at me and said not to come to bed because he would kill me and did a choking gesture with his hands. I had told him I was talking to V and said OK . He didn't have his hearing aids so he didn't hear what I said. He then went back to bed. I told V that I was calling 911, which I did.

    I hate doing this but I have to stop now and will continue later I'm to leave y'll hanginh, but it can't be helped.
    I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........

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    well somewhere in the Alz. archives you made it clear you'd take action when the time came. the time is NOW Jan! it's already arranged right? PLEASE don't wait another day. you've got to save yourself before something bad happens. keep the phone with you. you are a very strong woman & have alot of faith. now tell yourself God helps those that help themselves. you know this could progress from "maybe" to "too late". we care about both of you! PLEASE do what you must do. ((((hugs))) Pati

  6. #6
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    jan ,

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0000645/ loxapine is one of the older conventional antipsychotics, as mrsj said. we are having a discussion about antipsychotic meds being used in elderly dementia patients in the alzheimer's forum. on the link i provided, it says that alcohol can intensify the side effects of this drugs. one of the side effects of this drug is altered thinking!

    jan, what hank is experiencing is related to his dementia. if he didn't have dementia and was schizophrenic or had this behavior from some other condition, the drug might work. but who knows what signals are being released and not listened to in the alzheimer's patient's brain? antipsychotics ARE NEVER indicated for the treatment of violent behavior in the elderly with dementia. the dementia is causing the problem.

    jan, they wanted to put my mom on antipsychotics and they did, without my permission, for 3 days before i was able to get ahold of them and tell them to cancel that med. my mom's offenses are throwing utensils and food, swearing and possibly touching another patient's head or body.

    if they want to calm hank down, ask them to give him a long acting benzodiazepine, this is my opinion and what i told them to do with my mom. they didn't even prescribe an anti-anxiety med the first time she exhibited agitated behavior. they went straight to the freaking antipsychotics! they weren't even thinking to maybe up her anti-anxiety med and give it to her round the clock, instead of "when needed', like they had written in her chart. what idiots!

    my mom can't walk by herself. she can barely get from her bed to her wheelchair some days and sometimes needs help. she has no muscle tone, arthritis, heart disease and weighs 207 pounds.

    jan, i think you have to do something because 911 is going to wonder why you keep calling them and then doing nothing...and the next call you make might be when you are in real danger and they might not respond as fast.

    i know it's a hard decision to make, but i can read the fear in your words. it's time to stop being tough and take care of yourself!

    we're all worried and praying for you,
    jeannie
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

  7. #7
    Distinguished Community Member JanM's Avatar
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    Part 3

    As I was talking to 911 I unlocked the front door and told them it was unlocked but I left it closed. Hank came into the LR demanding I put down the phone. I tried to tell him that I was talking to my sister , he took the phone and threw it and it hit the door and I saw parts go flying. He then grabed my ankle and knee and held my leg at his knee and said that he was going to break my leg. I was yelling and screaming the he let go of my leg and shoved my body down and laid over the top of me. his left hand at my left ear and his right hand went under my face in a "claw" I thought "this is it" and relaxed my body and Hank straighed up and left the room. I got up and was looking for the phone. I heard the 911 operator talking and found the phone. She told me the officer had arrived and I went to the door to let him in. Just as he was coming through th door, Hank was coming back into the LR. Hank got mad and told the officer to get out and in a few moments calmed down. I asked the officer to take Hank to jail and since he had been drinking and couldn't leave in the truck by himself. Hank got dressed and they took him to jail. I had a mean streak in my because I didn't remind Hank to take his dentures with him. I called V back to let her know what happened and she suggested I call my sister in law N to come over until I calmed down. Which I did.
    They held Hank in jail for 2 days, they let him go because they didn't want the responsible for him. On Wed the sheriff dept suggested I leave and to take the truck with me (I also took the dog). On Sun Hank figured out how to call my cell and called me about 30 times aasking when I was coming home getting mad when I told him the reason I wasn't coming back. I tried various agency to get help with no help to be had.

    Hank is now in a nursing home and I have POA I'll relate the details in the next post. I can't believe how tiring this gets just typing it out.
    I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........

  8. #8
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    ((((jan))))),

    how scary. hank needs to be in a nursing home...just my opinion. you shouldn't have to live in fear.

    i'm just sorry it had to go this way and glad you aren't seriously hurt.

    jeannie
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

  9. #9
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
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    Jan I am so glad you are okay. So sad that things went the way they did. How heartbreaking for you. Prayers going out for the both of you.

  10. #10
    Distinguished Community Member JanM's Avatar
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    Part 4

    On Mon N and myself went to a judge to get an involentary commitment, but was told it would do no good because he would be out in 72 hours and I would be back to where I was. I decided to go to a lawyer to start Guardianship papers and while having coffee waiting for 9 am to roll around, Hank called me and was totally confused. N talked to him (I pi$$ him off just talking to him) and he agreed that he wanted help. We hightailed it back to our city (6 miles) and we were a mile form the exit and the left front tire blew! I have a road service, but it usually takes hours to get anybody there so we called a local wrecker service (N old neighbor) They c\got the tire changed and we went to N's house so she could get her car. I was afaird that if Hank saw the truck that he would get mad and not go with N. N went in the house and Hank agreed to go with N. When they left the house I made sure Hank did not see me. I went in and he had the heat up to 90 ad he also had the electric fireplace heater on. I turned those down and did a quick check of the house, grabbed him meds and a friend of N picked me up and brought me to the truck. They had Hank in a room and was checking him out. After all the admitting procedures we went through 2.5 hour of he will stay, what an I her, how did I get here, what is this place I'm not staying here, etc. They asked if I wanted a security bracelet on him YES. I asked if they could give him a pill to calm him down and because of my POA they did. Finally I told Hank that I had to get some lunch and he said to go ahead. He cannot leave the nursing home unless I said so because of the POA And I WILL NOT take him out for his safty and MINE

    Sorry for all the typing errors but I wanted to get this saga done.
    I'm just where God wants me to be, not one step ahead nor one step behind........

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