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Thread: PRAYER'S needed for missing man!!!

  1. #21
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    Default it just gets WORSE!!!!!!!!

    I got an email from my friend,her husband committed suicide! I'm so shocked. this was the very last thing I expected. my mother called from the other side of the state,she'd read it in their local paper (area we all grew up in).

    I ASSUMED she knew it was suicide. but when I went to the local paper website it was an obit & of course didn't say how he died. thought of calling my mom back but I realize she doesn't always keep things straight in her mind & since it's already on the internet everyone will know.

    now I have more questions than ever since I had no idea anything was wrong in their life. their local paper headlined it was a suicide so of course they had to tell the grandkid's & rest of the family. and I'm grateful I read her email before I did my daily check of the paper in her area.

    this brings up memories of my BIL's suicide years ago.

    she wants to see me. I told her we will get together but not anytime soon. I made the mistake a few years ago of going to stay with another friend right after her DH died.emotions are just too raw right now. time for family support & she has that.

    please say some prayer's for the entire family. he had 5 siblings & his elderly parents are still alive. this will hit my friend's 95 yr old mother bad,they were close & he was an ideal SIL.

    my mind is spinning with questions. never knew him to have any mental health issues. he was a Viet Nam vet just as my BIL was. maybe a factor? does anyone ever know the truth? no idea if he left a note. don't know if they did an autopsy? coroner was in the woods when they found the body. I watch too much NCIS of course & have some vivid images in my mind.

    this is all just so tragic & unexpected!

    thank you all so much for your support & prayer's. my housemate never met him,my son's wouldn't remember him,and my local friends have never met either of them. so that leaves you guys for me to seek support from.

    hopefully this won't bring up bad memories for any of you. if so I apologize. we used to have an active suvivor's of suicide forum on BT. I inadvertingly posted under a thread Phyllis began.

    many many thanks to all

    I did call my mom back. she'd already told dad but promised not to tell anyone else.

  2. #22
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    Default an update to the tragedy

    not much news really. I finally sent my friend an email & was glad she replied.

    she's gone back to work. her daughter is moving back to WA to stay with her.

    her little doggie is saving her these days. her son is having a hard time but thankfully he's working now & long hours at that.

    she's joined a class action lawsuit about the meds he was taking. realizes she'll never see any money but hopes it might save someone else's life.he was taking Cumodin(sp) & Plavix. not sure but think he got on both after his heart surgery?

    I need to send her another email & have been searching for some good survivor's of suicide sites for her. she plans to go to counseling but not right now.

    she mentioned some of the hassles with banks & debit card being in both names & they cancelled cause her name wasn't the first on the card. so heads up people! make sure if anything happens with your spouse you will have your own accounts & cards in YOUR name. my other friend had this same problem when her DH died & it took forever to get it straightened out.

    thanks again for all your support & prayer's.
    ((((hugs to all)))) Pati


  3. #23
    Distinguished Community Member Barque's Avatar
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    Unhappy

    If you put both names on an account make sure there is an OR between them.

    You know, just thinking about his medical problems he took more than one drug. Sometimes the drug interaction can cause suicidal thoughts. Drugs these days are over prescribed. If I took everything I was prescribed, I'd probably be dead by now myself. I have 17 different bottles in my cupboard but I only take 3, 2 for blood pressure and one for sleep/epilepsy and just those 3 are running my life.

  4. #24
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
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    IF you really look you will see that almost every single medication has depressed mood as a side effect. Usually not listed in the regular most common side effects. These are in the 'small print' of more severe side effects. Most also tell you the contact number of who you can report your side effects if they are adverse. Most people don't do it. It is so the rate of SEs can be kept track off. If everyone who ever got depressed taking say Plavix and recognized it for what it was and reported it there probably would be a whole lot more meds reevaluated.

    I am glad your friend's daughter is coming to help her. Amazing how soothing the love of a pet can be in times of need.

  5. #25
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    well as you know I'm BIG on research myself. my friend is not. her DH asked the doc's over & over about his meds. the lawsuits are to force the FDA to add possible death as a side effect.

    the majority of people take the word of their doctor. or their vet. I still consider my dog's death as a direct result of taking a med I researched & discovered over 6,000 deaths from. the vet was adament it was safe since she'd been using it over 20 yrs. that was no excuse in my book but of course she think's she knows better than I do.

    and in suicide you need to find a blame. someone or something.

    I know from my own experience with Zoloft that it can creat suicidal ideation. ads will say not for people under 18 for instance. well what makes these drug companie's think AGE is a factor? they just want ot sell pills.

    I hope everyone will always take the time to research side effects of drugs. I would never have known Metforim depletes B12 for instance. and I never go to the drug co. websites for info. you can type in any drug/side effects & get info from real people & then make your own decision.

    I had 3 different doc's pushing me to take Klonopin. my research indicated it's an addictive drug. I have an addictive personality. plus it was originally for seizures. I never had seizures. at the time I did have severe myoclonic jerks. no doctor ever came up with a diagnosis. they just keep sending me to more doc's & shaking their heads.

    I later found out Zoloft itself could have been the culprit for the myoclonus.

  6. #26
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    I am good at hitting the buttons tonight for sure.nn double post again
    Last edited by joy; 03-20-2012 at 06:37 PM.

  7. #27
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    we are all different. A long time ago I knew I was depressed and asked my regular doctor then to give me something for depression. I wish I could recall how I put it to him but can't for some reason tonight. I just remember he did not question if I was depressed or not after I said what I did.

    The medicine he gave me was Zoloft and it did get me back to my normal self. I knew I would be alright as soon as I could laugh and let my worries go for a time. It is a good thing I think that there are different kinds of medicines doctors can try for those who they do work for.

    But we are all diffferent. Hubby has a sister that does not take medicine at all to speak of. For headaches she takes ginger for instance. Remarkable and I only wish I was like that myself. Perhaps she is tougher than I am. Whatever. I caved early in life as I developed a nervous stomach when daddy went to hospital etc and I ended up staying with him nonstop for so long. That was just the beginning it seemed for my needing medicines for health reasons. I doubt I would have made it without a doctor when my 5th nerve was acting up or my 8th when I was so out of it with vertigo and naseau. I'd try just about anything when those two things act up myself.

    I just had to add this as I can recall what my parents did for my bad earaches when I was little. Daddy would smoke a cigarette and blow the smoke in my ear. Didn't do a dratted thing. Oh how weird some of the things that were tried for toothaches, ear aches colds etc. I keep asking my remaining old aunts what was that plaster like stuff I can remember them smearing on my chest covered by a dish cloth. I think it was a purplish color. They can't recall it at all but I know I did not dream it up, LOL.

    Last edited by joy; 03-20-2012 at 11:27 PM.

  8. #28
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    i heard suicides are up-probably
    "Here's an unpopular opinion: I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations. Sorry. If some innocent men's reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay." Teen Vogue writer Emily Lindin

  9. #29
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    Joy, you are right, people are different and what works for one may work well for another. All I can say is read all the information you can find when Dr. gives you a medication.

    If you have any doubts or questions, ask the Dr. point blank what your concerns are. If they blow you off, find a second opinion. If you feel strange or whatever, don't take meds. until you can be sure you understand why you are feeling that way and it could be many different things, but also could be the meds.

    I took Zoloft for several years. I had no side effects to my knowledge. I have to change ever so often for whatever reason, but I suppose I'll have to take the anti-depressants the rest of my life.

    I knew I was having a reaction to something in the injections Dr. was giving me for scactica pain. I talked to Dr. Before he gave me the shot. He imed. told me he thought I was having a reaction to Medrol. He cut down the dosage to half. When I got those injections they always cut that down.

    Now Prednisone is a real concern for me. I have been on it more than off since Christmas. Here again, I thought it was the Prednisone, so talked to my Pulmonary Dr. about it. He understood instantly, explained the why's and he also cut the dosage in half. I had a second Dr. tell me yesterday that it was sad, but some meds. did not have another than could do what Prednisone was described for.

    I appreciated what he told me and it made sense with what the Pulmonary Dr. said. Now that I understand this I will cut it in half again, take it a little longer, but get off as soon as I can. It's for my COPB. There are times I know I kneed it when I have to sleep sitting up. This is the biggest reason I'm trying to stop smoking.
    Joy, I don't think it's a matter of weakness when we have to take meds. If we listen to our bodies we know when something is wrong. that's about the best I can do. I do envy those that don't have to take meds., but it is not that way for everybody.

    Now, about that "stuff" put on our chest, was it something like a "mustard paste"? I don't mean that Frenches mustard in the bottle either. lol I remember granny Maggie thought that would cure everything!! My Mom didn't like to do this to us, but Daddy thought G. Maggie knew everything.

    What was that other awful stuff that somebody wanted to pour down ones throat every time we had the sniffel's or broken arm?
    Didn't
    think I would ever forget that stuff, but Joy, I remember that plaster stuff and mustard comes to mind. It could have been about anything.

    When I go back to our family Dr. I'm going to ask him why he didn't tell Ken he had Shingles the FIRST time he went to see him. I TOLD Ken he had Shingles, the Dr. said no, you just about have pneumonia. Well, that was 1/2 his diag.! 3 days later he went back to Dr. Dr. said You have Shingles!! Ken told him he was afraid to come home because that was why he asked the Dr. to look at his back! the first visit. HA! Dr. didn't want to think I knew more than him!
    I looked at the Topic of this thread. Somewhere I seem to have strayed WAYYYYYYYYYYYY off Topic. Sorry
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

  10. #30
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    he sounds like a stupid doctor -find another
    "Here's an unpopular opinion: I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations. Sorry. If some innocent men's reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay." Teen Vogue writer Emily Lindin

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