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  1. #1

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    please pray for a meeting monday with Noah's school. They have said they do not feel they can service his educational needs (LD an ADHD) and asked that we either homeschool him or put him in the public system. The emotions and thoughts have been all over the map. Noah finally got off a waitlist today so I can have a resource consultant start helping but not in time for Monday. We will use Monday to buy a little more time but I already bought a month and they aren't too keen to let things continue as they are. I bought the month by agreeing to go to the school daily to take him out to do resource myself as my dh was away and not present for us to discuss options etc. sigh.

    now, as for other news. Zech is preparing for a scope for r. bleeding and Matt is preparing for botox (but the surgical consult did thankfully agree surgery isn't necessary at this point but that botox would be to avoid surgery)

    I just finished an online course (yeah) and applied for communications disorders assistant program (one year full time). Not sure it will happen but doing all the paperwork for it and the online course was to update skills so I could be TESL credentialed which means paperwork for that also so things are hectic.

    i'd just appreciate knowing my friends will remember us in prayer. thanks.
    lucinda

  2. #2
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    Dear Lucinda.

    Of course we will pray for Noah.

    In Australia the public school's are not that crash hot from a Christian perspective.

    God bless and let us know how things are going.

    Paul, Alison and Grant the champ.
    Grant's story in pictures and music. A must see :)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiZGlwj6VCQ
    Seeya there :)

  3. #3

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    Hi Lucinda - Some private schools are really great for some kids with certain needs...and lousy for others. I find it striking that many religiously affiliated schools seem absolutely perplexed in dealing with kids whose needs cause any distraction to kids or teachers in the classroom. I don't know how your public schools look, but I would not write them off without giving them a fair look. I know a bunch of kids that were more successful after moving from private (that is, private religious or secular but not private sped) to public, and a few that were more successful going in the other direction. The kids that are more successful in private schools tend to need a smaller environment and not much else. Often times, private school teachers have little or no training in dealing with special needs kids, and are pretty much left to their own devices. So, wishing you the best of luck at your meeting, but don't despair - the alternative might not be as bad as you expect.

    - momster
    Momster, mom to 2 boys: one of whom has CP, NLD, ADD, anxiety disorder, osteopenia/porosis and a few other letters following his name; and married 25 years to a wonderful guy

  4. #4

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    it`s not that I`m afraid it is so bad. public schools can be `bad`but the one in our area seems okay. I like the SN teacher. It`s just that we want our boys to study at the same school. we want this school to be committed to ALL kids. we have long,deep relationships with those who run the school. it`s not simple to leave. etc etc.
    Lucinda
    mom to four boys who keep things interesting...

  5. #5
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    Hi, sorry you are having problems with the school. I'm very familiar with this sort of stuff. They would have these big meetings over nonsense because they were afraid they couldn't handle my mobility issues. Boy was it humiliating! I eventually decided to do home schooling and I feel that it was a great decision for me. I will pray everything goes well.

  6. #6
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    ((((((Lucinda, Noah, Zech & Matt))))))

    Prayers going up for Noah's educational situation, Zech's successful scoping and hopeful results, and a successful botox treatment for Matt, as well as your success in completing your paperwork, obtaining your credentials, and the job for which you've applied or even a better one.

    I'm dipping into my advocacy bag from a hundred years ago, when I battled schools/districts, for my sons' best educational opportunities to see if I can uncover any ideas to help you achieve your goal with this school.

    With IEP's, I allowed the school/district to present their agenda first, and then I addressed my agenda. I always came prepared with an outline of what I expected and wanted for my son from their educational program.

    It is helpful to be very clear and specific on your own objectives. You wish for Noah to remain in the same school as his siblings. You also want Noah to receive an appropriate and effective education. Is this school capable of providing that education to Noah? Can they specify in which areas they are lacking in meeting his needs, and what they would require to be able to meet those needs?

    If Noah's needs require specialists, then it is up to the District to provide those specialists for Noah. (Unless the laws have changed in that regard.) If Noah needs speech therapy, then an ST must be provided by the District to whatever school he attends or to his home, if he is home schooled, or they need to provide him with transportation to that ST's office/school/location. It must be the least restrictive environment for Noah, so you could argue that carting Noah all over town to see specialists is restrictive to his learning and ability to interact with other students in a normal school setting.

    Any meeting to decide Noah's educational program and its location should be attended by the Special Ed representative from the School District, as the District has overall responsibility for Noah's education financially.

    The District may try to weasel out of it, by saying that you chose a private school over a public school, and then you must provide the District with the reasons why this setting is educationally better for Noah. To be in the same school with his siblings is beneficial to Noah for these reasons ... then list them. A private school affords Noah the following things, which aren't available to him in a public school ... then list them.

    Other important factors to consider might be whether moving Noah to a different school, where he doesn't know any of the other students or the teachers, or the facility, is in his best interest or would cause him harm.

    If it is determined by you and the team that Noah's needs cannot be met at the private school, and a public school could offer him more in terms of services to meet those needs, then his transition to the new school might need to be gradual. Perhaps he could slowly transition, as in visiting the new school once a week for a few weeks, then increase his visits to twice a week, and see how well he does with the change. That should be written into his IEP, with timelines, and objectives, but also with the stipulation that if the public school is not working for Noah, the private school setting will be back on the table for Noah, as well as other options.

    If you haven't expressed to the private school's administrators your feelings of connection to this school, and your desire for it to be all-inclusive, then that is a reasonable argument to present. Don't be afraid to personalize your points, because they are worthy of consideration. You have a history with this school. All of your children attend this school. It's worth repeating that as you lobby to keep Noah there.

    The focus of the team should be: what does Noah need that the school does not feel it is able to provide for him, and how can Noah's educational program be supplemented, so that he can have those needs met and remain at the school?

    I'm sure that every CN parent agrees that these meetings are anxiety and stress inducing, and we typically feel intimidated by the principal, district rep, teachers, specialists, social workers, etc. It took me years of intimidation to finally process that these people worked for my son and me, not the other way around. My tax dollars paid their salaries.

    And my son had mandated rights that I would not allow them to deny with their authoritative and condescending attitude:

    "We know what is best for your son, because we're trained experts in our fields."

    "You must be so exhausted. You have your hands full. This is a lot to take in, just sign, and we'll move on."

    Pin them down. Ask them, "What is lacking or wrong with your program that you can't meet Noah's needs?"

    The System blamed my children all of the time for Its Failures to them. If my son could walk, then the school wouldn't need to order a bus with a wheel chair ramp for the field trip to the county fair. If my son didn't have continuous seizures, then he wouldn't need a later morning pick up time (he was on his bus at 6:45 a.m. before sunrise, while regular ed students met their buses at 8:00).

    My answers to these issues always emphasized the "individual" aspect of our special education laws. Our children's programs are supposed to be tailor made to meet their special needs.

    The fact is that you do have your hands full, and you are exhausted, which is why they should be pulling their weight in the education of your children. You shouldn't have to be waging war at a meeting on Monday to obtain what Noah needs and deserves.

    But you will be, and I hope that I've given you some ammunition. There is nothing more powerful in these situations than quoting the law. They always seem surprised that we know our children's rights.

    Stay Strong, Lucinda.

    I'll be thinking of and rooting for you on Monday. Please let us know how it goes.

    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

  7. #7

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    Thanks so much. thanks for your time in responding. I will process a little more then reply.

    someone passed away today and the funeral is monday. my husband is a pastor so he won`t make it for the school meeting now so they will likely postpone it. If I can buy more time I can get a local resource consultant to help me go through the laws etc. I just got assigned to her after a year long waitlist. The school didn`t want to wait but they also insist my husband come...so, God works in small things and big.

    thanks again. i`ll write again later.

    lucinda
    Lucinda
    mom to four boys who keep things interesting...

  8. #8
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    ((((((Lucinda))))))

    Divine Intervention ~ such a blessing.

    By all means, connect with the resource consultant. Get all of your ducks in a row, before you have any meeting with the school personnel. And if you need more time, tell them that you need more time. They can't just kick Noah out.

    You should also have the opportunity to visit other educational settings for Noah, including the public school, and to meet with the teachers and administrators of those programs, to assess whether they are appropriate for Noah, before the meeting.

    They may try to rush you in your decision-making. Don't let them do that. I put Michael's school/district through a year of mediation meetings, before the final fair hearing, so that I could visit all of the adult day programs available and assess them for their appropriateness to Michael's needs. The offerings were appalling, and at every mediation meeting, I let them have it about the horrific options available for adults graduating from their educational programs. Before I met the staff of these programs, I knew that they were inadequate in every regard. I knew when I pulled into their parking lot.

    When you enter the meeting with Noah's school/district, you need to be armed with knowledge of: 1) laws pertaining to Noah's rights; 2) options for his educational services and their appropriateness to meet his needs. You should also be prepared to state what you are willing to accept and not accept with regard to Noah's educational services. And you should have an idea of the areas where you are willing to compromise, and offer those areas before they do.

    Everything can be argued. And everything is negotiable.

    I'm rooting for you! Please keep us updated!

    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

  9. #9

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    Thanks for the prayers and support. I had peace overall for the meeting. I expected it to last an hour but it was more than 1.5 at which point we were just saying the kids had waited long enough and needed dinner...
    in conclusion, they were not willing to continue with me `helping`
    they were not overly willing to keep him fulltime and said if we did, he would have to repeat grade 3 regardless.
    they were willing to have him homeschooled but attend part time and rearranged the class routine a little so it would be four afternoons a week at school, coming at lunch those days and earlier one day for music class.
    so, i will teach reading, writing, math, spelling, language
    they will teach art, gym, music, Bible, science and social studies.
    he can go to morning assembly first (30min) and join for recesses also

    it isn`t what I wanted and I`m not sure they are willing to do it next year but if it goes very well this year they may...
    they are allowing this so that they don`t have to FORCE us into public school
    although they expect us to put him there by Sept it seems
    but realize at the same time that public school also won`t have the resources ready for this year ...hence the compromise.

    it keeps us from disrupting our family for now
    it gives me a chance to use a chunk of time to really help him all I can (evenings we are tired, we work well together at the portable)
    it gives some time.
    noah seems to really thrive being with me. he`s happy and works `well` but still keeps his friends so he is happy with this.
    it means he doesn`t HAVE TO repeat gr 3.

    but, it`s a loss too and something that still needs to be worked on.

    the resource consultant will hopefully find ways to help.
    although, the school was impressed by how many things I had looked into already and how dedicated I was to helping him myself.
    Last edited by grace; 02-11-2012 at 05:08 PM.
    Lucinda
    mom to four boys who keep things interesting...

  10. #10
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    ((((((Lucinda))))))

    This compromise seems reasonable and has several positive aspects to it. Buying time is crucial, as it allows you to explore all of the options. And if public school might be in Noah's future, then you have time to let the school district know exactly what Noah needs before he arrives, so that they can have everything in place when he does.

    The extra time with you may be just what Noah needs now, and it's wonderful that Noah is on board with this change.

    When are you meeting with the resource consultant?

    The school should be impressed with you. You're a remarkable mom doing a fantastic job raising 4 boys. And you and your boys deserve all of the help you can get (and are entitled to receive) through the school(s)/district.

    Congratulations! Set aside the loss and celebrate the gains! This was a good result for now. It's always wise to keep your eye on the future too, so keep exploring options.

    Love & Light,

    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful dad.

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