It's been two days that I have done pretty much nothing. I can think of many things I can/should be doing but I'm just sitting around lost in thought and dispair. It's been raining and chilly out and if this is the way I feel now I dread the oh so cold winter. It's been a very lonely weekend. I've reached out to those I want to spend time with but it seems everyone is just too busy.
My meds are ok , no need to change them it's just the way life is now. I can't expect every day or weekend to be great. I would just settle for contentment right now. I have no motivation to do anything. I am truly uninspired. I find my thoughts going to back to old negative thinking. Things like how I hate myself and I'm so stupid. I have been just laying on the couch with my dog. I then think "get up and move!" so I get up and walk around the house but it's so empty and lifeless.
I had no one to talk to of these feelings so I wrote them here.