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Thread: A Heavenly Reunion For Jim and Our Boys

  1. #1
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    Default A Heavenly Reunion For Jim and Our Boys

    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    At 1:30 this morning, Jim passed. He is now pain-free, at peace and reunited with Jonathan and Michael.

    I did everything I could to help him, and in my heart, I knew that his journey would soon be completed. He was restless, grabbing at his blankets, everything around him. He pulled off the O2 cannula. He said he couldnít see. His voice began to fade.

    I kept kissing him and telling him how much I adore him, how thankful I am that God brought us together and for all he has done for our boys and me. His last words to me ~ ďI love you honey.Ē

    I called the mortuary and was told that I had to call the police. I called the police, and I was patched to the fire department, as paramedics had to pronounce him deceased. The 5 paramedics arrived within minutes. They were all very kind and compassionate.

    The police then arrived, 4 of them, and one of the officers is the same officer, who was here for Jonathan. He remembered everything about us, every detail and conversation. I know Jonathan and Michael must have timed it so he would be the officer to see me through this tragedy.

    A CSI officer arrived later and took photos. I had to line up his medication bottles on his tray for her to photograph.

    They all asked me the same questions, and I told them the history of our family. They looked at Jonís and Michaelís photos, and they were all amazed by our family.

    ďOurĒ officer called the coroner, and I didnít need to speak to her. He took care of everything for me.

    While waiting for the mortuary attendants, I bathed Jim and anointed him with my tears. I didnít know what to put on him for clothing. I chose one of Jonís gowns; in fact, the same pattern as the one I placed on Jonathan.

    The mortuary attendants couldnít have been more caring. Our officer stayed with me until the mortuary van drove away. Then he stood on the driveway and told me that heís seen a lot in his short time on the police force, but our family is the first time that he has felt overwhelmed with emotion. He said the love in our family and my devotion to our children and Jim inspired him.

    That was a little after 4 a.m., and itís now 5 a.m.

    In a couple of hours, I will call John and Nancy. I need to get some rest. I havenít slept at all, and Iíve been on my feet for many hours.

    Writing this now is sort of a debriefing for me. Iím going to lay down on the futon with my heating pad, and at least try to rest a little, if not sleep.

    Iíll probably finish this later in the day.


    I slept for about an hour. My first call was to Nancy. We cried and shared our memories. She is calling Dr. K for me.

    I will wait until this afternoon, when John is finished with work, to call him.

    The mortuary called, the same wonderful gentleman, who took care of Jonathanís arrangements. Because of COVID-19, all arrangements are made on the phone now, with emailing the documents. He was very kind. I asked him if I could call him tomorrow, as Iím just spent today.

    For now, Iím going to try to eat something and get some rest.

    I love you all and thank you so much for walking beside us every step of our journey. Jim loved you all too, and he knew all of your stories and prayed for you.

    God Bless You ~

    Love & Light,

    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

  2. #2
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    God rest Jim and give him peace and a happy reunion with Michael and Jonathan.

    You did an exceptional job, Rose. Now you rest a bit.

    God bless you.
    There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK

  3. #3
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Jim's painful journey is over now but I'm sure it's very sad for you, Rose, and for everyone who knew him.

    He always managed to squeeze something good out of every day, didn't he? Even though so many of his days in recent years were filled with suffering and the frustration of not being able to do basic tasks, added to the extreme discomfort of the disease and its treatments, he found time for some moments of peace and enjoyment of life.

    You and he together were a working team to the end.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss, Rose.
    MS, diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatiramer acetate (generic Copaxone) since December 2020.

    "A person with multiple sclerosis walks into a bar ... and a table, and a chair, and a wall."

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  5. #4
    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels View Post
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    His last words to me ~ “I love you honey.”
    ...may memories of that love carry you through until you reunite again.

    my (((hugs))) and sympathy, rose

    Last edited by tic chick; 04-21-2020 at 09:28 AM.
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  6. #5
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    I’m so sorry to hear the news Rose. You must truly be exhausted. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    grandmother of Tyler (24): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

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  8. #6


    Dear Rose,

    My deepest condolences to you during this most difficult time. The love you and Jim shared was exceptional. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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  10. #7
    Distinguished Community Member Jeanie Z's Avatar
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    Rose I am so sorry Jim died. I am thankful his last words to you were so great.

    You have been a wonderful caretaker for your family. Now you have three angels looking out for you.

    Get some rest and let everyone help you so you can get your strength back. With love, Jeanie :)

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  12. #8
    Distinguished Community Member SuzE-Q's Avatar
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    Oh, Rose, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You and Jim demonstrated such a remarkable bond of resilience and strength. Jim, we came to know through your words, as a man of absolute optimism and lighthearted humor. Your love affair was evident and unmatched. I have never seen such a fighting spirit.

    Thank you for sharing your journey together with your family with us.

    Jim is at peace now, and, while the adjustment and loss probably still feel acute, and your home far too quiet, I hope you find some solace knowing he was welcomed by his sons and they can introduce him to this next chapter of his journey and he can fill them in on all the crazy stuff this earth has been throwing at us lately, if they aren't too busy playing hoops with Kobe. You knew he was okay leaving so long as you would be okay, he gave you that gift of clarity.

    I would just like to say how perfect that Jonathan left on Jesus' death, while Jim, on the weekday of his Resurrection, on a Monday.

    And given this auspicious day being 4/20, you know that Grassman was there to greet Jim with a real tribute about how this day should be honored, for how far society has come in respecting his med of choice. Grassman will be so happy to hear how far CBD has come and how it helped Jim in his journey. He will keep Jim company and thank him for his wife spending time and giving support to his old MS pals on BT. I imagine they are both laughing and enjoying themselves right now. They are both free of their bodily limitations now.

    Rose, you rest. You were the ultimate partner and caregiver, it was an absolute privilege to be a spectator as you opened up and shared your journey through love and loss here. It is time for you to rest your sore muscles for a while. Please listen to some beautiful music to fill your spirit and your home with those beautiful feelings that music can evoke that you talked about only recently as you listened to the covid concert and the Les Miz singing family. You have given of yourself to enrich the lives of others, I hope you will take some time to do nothing but quiet yourself so you can feel those strings that will always connect you to Jim and your sons, and feel their love that will always surround you.

    Please Note that my posts may have been arbitrarily altered by a Moderator and may not reflect my original content.

    Per Mike Weins: "...the admin/mod team doesn't have to provide a forewarning/warning/mention about altering a members post. It doesn't matter if they fix a link, remove a link, fix a typo, or whatever...."

  13. #9


    So sorry. I pray for a restful night. Just so sorry.

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  15. #10
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    Attachment 5410

    Remember Us This Way

    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and prayers, and the many kind thoughts about Jim and our family. The tears are just flowing as I read your tributes and condolences. It has been an honor to share our journey with you. We are so grateful for the blessing you are in our lives.

    I called John, and he was devastated by the news of course. He said he knew, when he was here last week to repair the mattress, that Jimmy did not have much longer to be on Earth with us. He held onto hope that Jim would once again rally. But he told his family that night that he didnít think Jim had much longer. He also said that Jim is the fourth person he has lost to Stage IV cancer. However, the other 3 died within 6 months of diagnosis. ďJimmy lived for over 3 years. Thatís just amazing.Ē

    He couldnít stop asking me what I needed, listing off anything he could think of, reassuring me that he was always going to be here for me for anything and everything. Any construction project, heíll be here to make sure that itís done properly and that I donít get gouged. I mentioned a couple of things I felt a need for in the near future, and he said, ďIím on it.Ē

    Then, he said, ďRose, like my motherís passing, I think of her being reunited with my dad and how wonderful that is for her. She is not suffering, confused, in pain any more, and sheís with her soul mate. I think that way about Jim. You know that he and Jon and Michael are together now. Let that be your comfort. And, please know that you did more than anyone could have ever done for Jim, and Jon and Michael.Ē

    The unanimous urging of me to rest was echoed by John. ďWe have a lot to do,Ē he said, ďand weíll take our time getting it all done. But I need you to be strong and healthy, so we can do it. I know you donít really know what rest is, but please learn how to do that for yourself now.Ē

    So, I rested in Jonís recliner and watched old movies on TCM, ones Jim and I have watched together dozens of times, and which we probably would have watched today. I found myself speaking comments out loud to Jim. ďMan! That guy is tall!Ē ďUh oh, here it comes ÖĒ Itís just a natural reaction for me. But I felt Jim near me, and I know he was chuckling.

    The day lilies under our giant tree were Jimís favorite floral display in our backyard. They havenít bloomed for too many months to count. They are blooming today. Some buds for tomorrow, and some fully open. I exclaimed to Jim, ďHoney, look at your lilies! Theyíre beautiful!"

    This is the area, where I want to create Jimís memory garden, next to the flowers he loved so much.

    Dr. K called, but I missed his call, as I was on the phone with someone else. So he emailed me through the portal with his condolences. He said that Jim had had a very difficult year, ďand you did a remarkable job of taking care of him.Ē

    Nancy told me that Dr. Kís assistant burst into tears, when she told her that Jim had passed. ďWe will miss him so much! What a lovely, sweet, jovial, friendly man.Ē Jim was very well known and popular, as I discovered among the cancer community. Every time we went to the hospital or the medical center, people would stop by and greet Jim, and heíd ask how they were, and it was like he was Norm on ďCheers.Ē The valets knew him and loved him. It was really amazing for me to observe, after being unable to be with him for so long.

    As I mentioned, we are surrounded by love, and I am so comforted and strengthened by that love right now. I really need it, of course, and Iíve never failed to receive it through all of these years of crises, triumphs, and tragedies. You have all been here for us. Thank you so much.

    I ordered Jimís urn today. Some months ago, when Jim was still ambulatory and walking to the bathroom, we stopped in our boysí sanctuary by their urns. Jim said he loved both of the urns and that they truly represented our boys. I asked which one he wanted for his ashes, and he chose Jonís urn. A Warrior Urn crafted by Sioux for my three Warriors. It shipped immediately and is on its way.

    John said that he would take the urn to the mortuary and pick it up for me.

    Iím expecting a delivery of isolation gowns, so that John or Nancy or anyone, who might visit, can have a gown, mask and gloves. If I got COVID-19 now, Iím sure I would have a very difficult time and probably wouldnít survive. I have to live long enough to get a will in place at the very least.

    As I said to Our Officer as he walked me to the front door this morning, ďI used to be young, fit, and I had a great posture. Now, as you can see, Iím old, and I canít stand up straight. But I made it this far, and I saw my beloveds through to their final destination in Godís Arms, so this is definitely worth it.Ē

    Now, I will endeavor to take care of myself and our dilapidated home.

    The t-shirt I wore yesterday and today is black with silver letters: I BELIEVE! Iíve had this shirt almost 17 years in May, after Michael passed. The letters are beginning to wear off. But it was the shirt I chose for Jim to send him on his journey to God.

    For now, I leave you with my everlasting love for you all, and this song for my Angels ~ Michael, Jonathan and Jim ~

    Love & Light,

    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

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