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Thread: A Heavenly Reunion For Jim and Our Boys

  1. #51
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    Dear Rose,
    Oh my goodness, I am so glad that you have these dear friends who can help you. What a wonderful family! "Dad" is a kind person and he has passed on his values to all his children.
    Rose, you have done everything for your family, you have done your best and your best has been. AMAZING. You have gone above and beyond every single day and now is the time for others (like your plumbers and John) to step in and help you. I think everything will be OK in the end and today was a giant step in that direction. Thinking of you every day and I"m so glad that people are being kind and helpful! xoxo Donna
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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  3. #52
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    Rose, what a relief to get to the leak so quickly. I am not minimizing the mold, but you are on your way to getting things taken care of with the help of your very kind plumbers and of course John who is taking care of the pumps in the gardens. Like Chris said "You got this" my friend. Glad you are taking a day or so rest. Thanks for the song by Stevie Wonder.
    Virginia

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  5. #53
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    Dear Rose,
    Here is something to cheer you up from old friends! https://www.facebook.com/ClassicRock...I5MjkxMzc0MDc/. Lots of love and hoping that today was a good, restful day. xoxo Donna
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    This afternoon, the owner of our wonderful plumbing company, “Dad,” came to my rescue. He told me that he’s 65, and his sons think he should retire. “But I’d have nothing to do then! So, they give me the easy jobs to humor me."

    First, he checked the closet in Jon’s room. I noticed that the mold had spread on the baseboard. Then, we went upstairs to the bathroom. He began inspecting, and he said that he might have to take the board off of the ceiling in the bedroom to see what’s going on there, in case it is the toilet. I asked if that would disturb the mold and cause spreading, and he said it could. Also, I’m thinking that he’s 65, and although wearing a mask, he doesn’t need to be exposed to the mold.

    He sat on the side of the tub, as I explained to him that the spout and the shower head started leaking over a month ago (maybe longer, I just can’t remember). The dripping got on my nerves. When I told Jim about it, he told me to unscrew the spout, which I couldn’t do, because my hands aren't strong enough to turn it. And then what? Well, there came the real rub.

    Upon further investigation, Dad traced a wet path from the top of the tub, down the side to the floor. "It’s wet, here, here, here. I’m 99% sure that I’ve found your leak. I’ll fix it.”

    Stunned, I stammered, “Really? That’s the problem? Really?”

    “I’m 99% sure it is.”

    “I’m so relieved! I envisioned my entire home being ripped apart with new plumbing and weeks of repairs.”

    He was here for nearly 2 hours, at one point calling his son to bring him something. So, it wasn’t just a matter of screwing on a new spout, as it appears he replaced the pipes for both the faucet and the spout.

    Once done, we went to the garage for him to look at a mold spot on the wall directly underneath the bathroom. “Yep, that’s most likely from the leak. It’s an accumulation.”

    He instructed me to call the mold restoration company, to which his son had referred me last year for the mold under the kitchen sink.

    “Tell him your situation, about your husband and son, and why you couldn’t take care of this until now. Ask him to come out to evaluate the damage and give you an estimate. He can contact your insurance in an attempt to get them to pay. He knows how to do that. If they deny your claim, he will charge you less than he would charge the insurance company. We’ve worked with them on quite a few projects over the last several years, and they are trustworthy and efficient. I’m sure that he will treat you right, or I wouldn’t recommend him.”

    He asked me what year my house was built. It was funny, because he followed the question with another: “Do you know?”

    I laughed, “I do know, because I’m the original owner. I bought dirt and watched my home being constructed.”

    He said he hoped I didn’t have asbestos in the drywall, because that would mean a hazardous materials company would have to do the work. If my house had been built one year later, there wouldn’t be a concern about asbestos in the dry wall. That’s when it was banned.

    I told him about our slab leak, and that they scraped the ceiling and tested the “cottage cheese” as I call it. They found a minute trace of asbestos, and we had men in space suits and a staging area in the front yard.

    And yet, every home in our neighborhood, which has been remodeled/sold, has scraped ceilings. No haz mat people scraping those ceilings ever. These houses have had additions, and the entire interior altered, with walls removed. No haz mat ever.

    What about us? Living here with asbestos in our ceilings and walls? Why wasn’t there something done to mitigate that after the law was passed in 1978?

    On Monday, I will call the mold restoration company to schedule their visit. I would like for John to be here for that meeting.

    Dad was hesitant to charge me, but I insisted. He gave me a hefty discount. They always give us a discount on every job they’ve done for us. This is a good, kind, caring, loving family.

    I’ll never forget his son sitting down in our living room, when Jim was still on the futon, to unclog the garbage disposer the day after Christmas 2019. He knew there was mold and didn’t want to go under the sink, but he wore a mask and did it for us. Then, he didn’t want to charge us, but we insisted.

    When he finished, Jim asked him lots of questions about his family, because that’s Jim. He loves people, all people, and everyone is interesting and has a story. So, he opened up to us about his family, and it was beautiful. This is our plumber, and he’s sharing his personal life with us, like a friend. Because he is our friend, they are our friends now.

    With our masks on today, Dad and I made a lot of eye contact as we talked. He has such kind, sweet eyes. Crystal blue. A sense of humor and compassion. He raised his boys to be just like him, and they are.

    In the garage, I gestured toward the massive stacks of boxes, “These are all medical supplies. Many of which I purchased, because Medicare wouldn’t pay for them.”

    "Out in front by the garage door, we have bags of clothes we removed from the closet. I don’t know if it’s safe to donate them because of the mold in the closet.”

    “This pile is all of the alternating mattresses and covers we collected through the years for Jonathan."

    “Moving on through the cascade of laundry to your right,” I gestured at the enormous stacks and stacks of laundry. “As you can see, I haven’t had time to do much of anything other than care for Jim and the essentials.”

    I looked at him, and his eyes were glazing.

    As I thanked him at his truck, he gave me the receipt and told me to show it to the mold restoration guy. Then, he told me to take good care of myself. He said I should check periodically to see if the moisture around the tub is dissipating. “If it’s still wet, just call. I can stop by on my way home to check it for you. Don’t ever hesitate to call us for anything. You’ve had a very difficult life, and we understand and want to help you.”

    I brought in the trash bins from the street, which I’m sure pleased our neighbors, as I sometimes don’t do that until Saturday night. Oh, the horror!

    When I came in and sat down, I cried. All of this could have been prevented, if I had just called our plumbers to fix the leaking faucet and spout in the tub. I’ve been telling myself since then not to go there. I have to remember everything that was happening with Jim and why that wasn’t feasible at that time.

    I am prone to Guilt Trips, so I have to continue to keep things in perspective. I made that decision at that time for Jim, and now, I will deal with the outcome of that decision.

    As Dad was preparing to leave, I opened our mailbox. There, in an manila envelope, are Jim’s death certificates. I began crying then, but reined it in until I got back into the house. Also in the mail, a Medicare Summary of Jim’s claims and Jim’s Consumer Reports issue.

    This will continue for some time, and I know that, because I still receive mail addressed to Jonathan. It’s like a constant reminder that your loved one is no longer physically living here or in need of mail of any kind.

    I need to take tomorrow “off” and try to regroup. Sunday, John will be here to work on Michael’s pond clean up. Monday, I will call mold removal, and it will all start again.

    I give thanks for Jim, Jonathan and Michael watching over me, answers to prayers, our plumbers, an easy repair, and for this beautiful day and weather.

    To all of you, I give thanks for your love, prayers, kindness and support. And I pray for you and your loved ones. Be strong. Stay safe. Be well. I love you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vgfBJhlEEo

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Hi Rose,

    I’m so sorry about the insurance. Thanks so much for the update on your plumbing crisis. The older "Dad" plumber sounds like an absolute sweetheart. I’m glad he hasn’t retired yet! 65 doesn’t seem old to me but he is higher risk for the virus at his age so I hope he’s super careful. Re: asbestos and not making adjustments when laws are passed. A lot of old houses have asbestos and a lot of older buildings are not even re modeled to be ADA compliant so I’m not surprised the private houses are not updated either. My prayers are with you always.

    I’m doing well. I had a nice talk with my mailman from a proper 6 feet away with masks. It was so refreshing to make in person contact with a living being.
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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  9. #55
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    Jerry and I are staying well. My granddaughter moved in with us on March 12 when college dorms shut down and my daughter and her son moved in a few days later. Easier to maintain one household than two. Tyler got a pseudomonas aeruginosa in his urine during the same time and we had to go to the hospital and have a midline put in and do infusions every 8 hours for 10 days to try and kill it and stay out if the hospital. All this just one day before all of San Diego shut down. Last week we took another sample in and found out Friday that the pseudomonas is back. We are waiting to hear from Infectious Disease to see what can be done. There is no way they are going to take Tyler into the hospital without us to have another midline put in. It took both of us last time to hold him down for the procedure and then dealt with the seizures the trauma brought on. Bad timing all around. That’s my update in a nutshell. With all that you have endured over the past year, this is nothing and it will pass.
    grandmother of Tyler (24): Ohtahara Syndrome/SCN2a gene mutation, cortically visually impaired, quadriplegic, severely developmentally delayed, no speech, severe intractable seizures, frontal and temporal lobe atrophy, progressive scoliosis/kyphosis, chronic kidney stones & UTI's, gastroparesis, 100% tube fed, autonomic dysreflexia, but what a precious gift from God. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

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  11. #56
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    Dear Rose,
    I'm thinking of you and wondering how you are doing today. I'm so glad that your plumber (the Dad) is helping you and of course every day I am grateful for your dear John. So glad that the fountain pump is working! But how are YOU? Are you able to absorb any part of your loss yet? I wish so much that I could give you a hug.

    Jim and I watched a wonderful documentary yesterday called The Biggest Little Farm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfDTM4JxHl8. It takes place in California and I think you would love it. It's a heartwarming story with adorable characters and a happy ending - it is truly about the circle of life. We watched it on Netflix but I think it's available from other movie sources as well.
    Sending much love,
    Donna xo
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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  13. #57
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    Default Plumbing News: The Latest

    ((((((Hugs to All))))))* ~

    Please forgive me if I've kept you wondering. I wrote a blathering post 2 days ago, and I decided not to post it. Then, yesterday, I wrote a long response to each on of you, and somehow it disappeared, and I can't retrieve it.

    Thank you so much Donna, Virginia, funnylegs4, and Tamie ~

    Tamie ~ I'm so sorry that Tyler is battling another infection, and I know how worried you are for him and the fear of not being with him for his midline. My heart goes out to you, dear friend. This is an awful time to need hospitalization or medical procedures. I pray that Tyler won't need another mildline placement, but if he does, I recommend that he keeps it for awhile, so it doesn't have to be replaced again, if he needs it. Many healing prayers on the way ~

    Here is my update ~

    WATER RESTORATION/MOLD REMOVAL



    I called this morning, and a lovely young lady said she would send a tech out this afternoon between 2:30-3:30. Perfect, because John was coming over to finish cleaning out Michael’s pond at that time.

    Julio appeared, wearing a very sophisticated mask (per his occupation, obviously). His demeanor instantly told me that he was a good guy.

    John was in the back yard with his wet/dry vac, blower, bucket, just slaving away on the pond. He’s taking pleasure in doing this for me, because he knows how much it means to me to have it working, and how long it’s been since it’s been drained and cleaned.

    John bought two new pumps, so that we can have the waterfall again and the fountain in the pond. I look forward to this, and it will bring me peace and comfort.

    So, while John worked outside, Julio started to explore the mold/water issue starting upstairs. He followed the water spread to the master bedroom and stair landing thresholds. He said his biggest concern was the subfloor. “I hope we don’t have to, but it’s possible the bedroom and landing floors will have to be removed.”

    Downstairs in Jon’s closet, he checked all of the readings for mold and water. “The drywall will have to be removed, and the floor. I don’t think it has migrated beyond into the bedroom.” He checked the downstairs bathroom, which has the closet as an adjoining wall. No water or mold present there. Whew! Dodged one.

    Out to the garage, and I gave him the quick tour, “here’s the medical supplies, as you can see, I haven’t had a chance to do laundry for a decade, and here’s the mold on the wall, which is the closet wall on the other side.”

    Then, I showed him the cabinet under the kitchen sink. He took photos, but I told him that was a separate project from the other leak.

    Julio’s Analysis

    Julio read my insurance policy, every single page. John returned from the yard to participate and support me.

    “Of all of the insurance companies we deal with, you have the best one. Like all policies, they are ambiguous and vague. Subject to interpretation. And, we have a very smart lady in our company, Julia, who knows all of this stuff, and we’ll brainstorm, call you for a conference call with your insurance company, and Julia will walk you through it.”

    He continued, “They will cover mold up to a certain amount. But, your problem isn’t the mold as much as it is the water. And for water restoration, we have a very good possibility that you will be fully covered. Add the mold, and you should be good to go. And, we know how to fight for you to get that coverage.”

    He said that he had just had a video conference with an insurance company, "because with COVID-19, they are reluctant to send out inspectors. They may or may not. But today, they accepted our documentation via video. It might be the same for you. We’ll find out.”

    How It Works

    “We’ll pre-stage your home for us to begin work, putting up sheets for protection, testing for lead and asbestos.” I told him our home was built in 1977, and he said it will have to be tested for both, before any work can begin.

    John asked, “Will Rose have to evacuate during all of this?”

    Julio replied, “No, not at all. We’ll have everything sealed off. We do this all of the time. It will be okay.”

    I asked about the upstairs bathroom and whether the tub will have to be removed, and Julio said, “Yes, especially because it's against an ‘outfacing’ wall (the outside of the house, not an interior wall). I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to take in, especially right now.”

    I smiled. “You saw the tub. You saw the bathroom. That’s the original everything. I have wanted a new bathroom for 25 years. And now, I want a walk in shower, with grab bars, and accessible everything. I’m prepared to pay extra for those upgrades, since it’s being demolished anyway. I want what I want, and that would be just lovely for me.”

    Julio said, “Good! Then we’ll see that that is what you get!”

    Then we talked about our plumbers, and Julio said, “I always enjoy working on projects with them. There are no plumbers like them anywhere, in my opinion. So cheerful, thorough, and competent. With the third generation lining up to take over. They are the best.”

    “I want them to do the plumbing, please!” I begged.

    “We’ll recommend them, of course. They are ‘your plumber,’ after all.”

    JOHN’S ASSESSMENT

    After Julio left, John went over everything Julio said to make sure that I had a grasp on it all. That is so sweet, since John knows that I’m in a flutter over all of this. So much to absorb after a trauma and crisis. But, as you can see, I did grasp all of it.

    John felt that Julio was excellent in every regard, and he felt that it was a good likelihood that they would get the insurance to pay as much as possible.

    John asked if I felt a little more at ease now, and I said I do. It’s going to be a lot of disruption and chaos, but it must be done, and when it is done, there will be a lovely new bathroom upstairs, and fresh flooring, and repaired plumbing. Keep my eye on the prize … the light at the end of the tunnel.

    I also asked Julio if it was safe for us to donate anything, which was in Jon’s closet. He said, “Only if you wash them first.”

    I laughed again. “Julio, you saw the stacks of laundry. You didn’t see the 5 leaf and garden bags at the front of the garage filled with clothes. If I lived to be 112, I could never finish all of that laundry.”

    John interjected, “Rose, I know you don’t want to do this, because those clothes are still useable and very nice clothes. But, realistically …”

    “They have to be thrown out. I know.”

    WHERE THE HEARTBREAK HAPPENS

    Throwing out Jonathan’s and Jim’s clothes is just one more painful task demanding my immediate attention. This leak/mold thing has exacerbated the need for me to clean out everything.

    As we were working on Jon’s closet, John once said to me, “I know this is hard for you. But we have to get through this massive amount of stuff, so …”

    “There isn’t time for me to remember, I know.”

    When I moved all of my toiletries from upstairs to downstairs, that meant that I had to remove all of Jim’s toiletries. Imagine throwing out his dentures. And every single thing I used to take care of him, to tend to him as he was dying.

    There is no time for grieving then. It’s about doing what has to be done.

    And now, I’m anticipating the chaos of having workers going in and out of my home day after day after day. There will be no peace or quiet for a long while.

    John offered his home to me, if I needed a place to stay. I told him, “It’s one thing to be with you for an hour or two, much of it outside, with masks on, and another thing to live in your home, and use your toilets/shower, etc. I can’t wear a mask 24 hours a day and wrap myself in plastic. At least the germs here are ‘familiar germs.’”

    John understood. I’m terrified of getting COVID-19, only because I have so many things, which I need to accomplish before I join Jim, Jonathan and Michael.

    Angels from all directions are on my side, and I give thanks for every one of you. I feel you lifting me up, when I falter, and praying for me and thinking of me, as I endeavor to carry on. Thank you all so much.

    I love you all, and I pray for you and your loved ones everyday.

    Be well. Stay strong. Be blessed.

    Love & Light,



    Rose

    *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

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  15. #58
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    Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah that you have a wonderful team that is protecting you physically, emotionally and financially! This is wonderful news. I am so glad that compassion trumps all other concerns in your repairs right now.

    Thank you so much for the update, Rose. I know that the construction will be upsetting and disruptive but I know that the results will give you hope and peace. I know it.
    Love to you and everyone around you who is keeping you safe and consoled. xoxo Donna
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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  17. #59
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    I was worried about you, Rose. Thank you for posting. I see that you are in good hands.

    Angels all around, indeed.
    ANN
    There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK

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  19. #60
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    Mold is nothing to mess with, but it sounds like you are in great hands. Love to hear so many compassionate and caring friends and professionals are surrounding you and making your life easier. Huge answer to prayer.

    Got a call from Tyler’s Doctor. They want to try Tyler on an antibiotic called Fosfomycin to try and keep him out of the hospital. One dose every 72 hrs. for nine days. Works for us. Just praying it works. Got 1 hr. 50 min. of sleep last night. We can’t keep this up. Something had to give.

    Rest easy Rose.

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