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A Heavenly Reunion For Jim and Our Boys

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    #61
    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    Thank you so much Donna, ANN, and Tamie ~

    I started a new thread to cover the Restoration Saga, as I didn't want Jim's memorial thread to be be cluttered with this crisis/adventure. Here's the link:

    Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

    I will continue posting on this thread about Jim. Words cannot describe how much I miss him every minute of every day. His touch, his smile, his laughter, his tenderness, his bravery, his everything. My constant companion, my soul mate, my best friend. It's only been 15 days.

    Tamie ~

    Many,many prayers that Fosfomycin effectively treats Tyler's UTI. I give thanks for an alternative to the hospital and a midline, and I pray it works perfectly. Please keep us updated.

    I love you all so much and thank you for your continuing love, prayers and support. Blessings upon you and your loved ones.

    Love & Light,



    Rose

    *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
    Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

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      #62
      One Month

      Screen Shot 2020-05-20 at 5.22.56 PM.jpg

      Jim's Day Lily Memorial Garden Site

      ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

      It has been a day of many tears and profound sorrow.

      I just finished re-reading this post from the beginning, remembering writing it just a month ago, shortly after Jim was taken to the mortuary.

      Your responses touch my heart so deeply, and I am forever grateful to you all for your love, prayers and constant support. I love you all dearly.

      Construction began today, so I sat on the patio frequently. It's incredible to me that in this month, our home has been demolished and is now being reconstructed.

      The weather is positively gorgeous and reminds me of why I live in California. It was 77 degrees, with a cool breeze and clear blue sky. I watched assorted birds bathe in Michael's waterfall. What a gift John has given me by repairing Michael's waterfall/pond. It's so clean and as clear as can be expected with leaves and debris dropping into it every day. I scooped out some leaves today. Yesterday, I filled the pond with more water. I am able to maintain it now.

      As I sat on the patio and wept silently, I visualized Jim, Jon and Michael watching over everything happening here. I spoke to Jim silently and could imagine his replies (or perhaps, I am actually hearing him talking to me, but I'm not sure, it's just very real to me). As I would expect, Jim said he was sorry for leaving me with this crisis, and he told me that I am handling everything well. As always, I told him that he has no reason to apologize to me.

      Today, I recalled this song, which Jim, Jon , Michael and I loved. To help Jon sleep, we often played Julio CDs, and when this song came on, tears just streamed down my cheeks, as I laid on his chairbed, and Jim was in the living room sleeping on the futon ~

      Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

      More tears, of course, as I listened to it, after I found this version.

      I have to do this. I have to let it out, because I know what happens to me, if I have to repress grief. I just cannot keep doing that.

      Thank you for your love, prayers, support, understanding, compassion, and for lifting me up. I love you all and pray for you and your loved ones.

      Be safe, be well, and be good to yourselves.

      Blessings upon you all ~

      Love & Light,



      Rose

      *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
      Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

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        #63
        Oh my gosh, I don't know how you can listen to that beautiful song and maintain any control at all, Rose. It is so evocative, especially if it is one you played with Jim and the boys. It Is so incredibly touching. Thank you for sharing it here.

        I am glad you are not pushing aside your emotions, but literally taking care of your house, inside and out.

        Finding moments of peace and beauty in nature are so very important for all of us as the world spins crazily around. I'm glad you are able to find comfort in your oasis.
        Please Note that my posts may have been arbitrarily altered by a Moderator and may not reflect my original content.

        Per Mike Weins: "...the admin/mod team doesn't have to provide a forewarning/warning/mention about altering a members post. It doesn't matter if they fix a link, remove a link, fix a typo, or whatever...."

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          #64
          Thank You SuzE-Q

          ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

          SuzE-Q ~

          We played "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" at our wedding reception. We also played Julio's version of "Yours," which was my parents love song.

          Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

          Both of those songs always brought tears through the years, but more so, as Jon and Jim were struggling over the past few years. Now, I'm crying again. The lyrics to both songs describe our love story so well.

          Today, I thought about our laughter. We had dozens of inside jokes, and all it would take would be a word or a look, and we'd recall whatever happened to make us laugh the first time. Then, we'd burst into laughter again. We had moments, when one of us would do something accidentally, and we'd look at each other, and start laughing at whatever silly thing it was, until we were out of breath and crying. Wow! That felt so good! Such a great release of our stress and tension.

          Both of us were pretty quick with one liners, with Jim's dry British wit, and my acerbic American humor, and we'd often play off of each other with affectionate chiding.

          For example, one of us might ask, while holding something or moving something, "Where do you want this?" Then, there was a look between us. And banter ensued. With lots of laughter.

          With rare exceptions, we were together 24 hours every single day, until Jim passed. Twenty-eight years constantly together, caring for our sons, in and out of hospitals, crisis after crisis after crisis. Incessant stress. We knew everything about each other, with no secrets between us ever about anything. Every decision was made together, and I mean every decision.

          Humor was our greatest coping tool, and we shared so much laughter with Jonathan and Michael. Oh their laughter was delightful! We cherished every moment of their giggles and chuckles and big grins.

          A wise counselor once told me that to know great joy, one must also know great sorrow. This was many decades ago, and she was absolutely right. And I have known both joy and sorrow, and will continue to know both eternally.

          I miss everything about Jim. Today, I miss his laughter. Those times we doubled over laughing so hard, we thought we'd never stop. Those quips we'd exchange in good nature.

          And, of course, I miss him telling me a hundred times a day, "I love you."

          He loved and still loves me, and I know he and our boys are watching over me. I just want so much to hear each of them say to me one more time, "I love you."

          With their smiles, despite their pain, their hugs, and kisses, and amazing grace.

          It's been a long and difficult day for me, which I will discuss in the Restoration Saga thread.

          Thank you, SuzE-Q, and all of our dear friends here, for allowing me to share this part of my journey with you, and for your love, prayers, and continuing support. I pray for you and your loved ones.

          Laugh today. Rejoice today. Live today. Love today.

          Love & Light,



          Rose

          *Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!
          Mom to Jon, 49, & Michael, 32, born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease. Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Angel Jon received his wings in 2019. In 2020, Jim, their Dad, joined them.

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