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Thread: I'll See You In My Dreams

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    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    Thumbs up I'll See You In My Dreams


    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    Every night, before I climb into bed, I place kisses on the photos of Jonathan and Michael on the nightstand and ask them to visit me in my dreams. I have been disappointed that, while I seem to be dreaming, my dreams have not been significant where I can recall details, and I haven’t seen Jonathan and Michael.

    Before I woke up this morning at 5:30, I was dreaming. It was a pleasant dream in a lovely, peaceful location, near the ocean, as many of my dreams are, but with hills and valleys nearby as well.

    I was with familiar people, who were friends, although I couldn’t attach an identity to any of them. I just knew that we all loved each other and were spending time together in this serene place.

    It seemed that I was busy tidying up the spacious home we were all staying in, which makes sense, because that’s what I do. I’m a nester, a caregiver, and I can’t sit still too long, when there are things needing to be done.

    Much of the dream is blurry in my memory. When I woke up, I wanted to remember the dream so I could understand it better. That’s when I realized what happened at the end of my dream.

    I was on the top of a hill, looking at the valley below, where the “home” was located next to the ocean. I looked at two people, who I didn’t recognize but loved deeply. The light shining on them was so bright, and they were reclining.

    I shaded my eyes with my hand, but the light was still so strong, I couldn’t see their faces. I thought I should get something, like an umbrella, to shade them, as the sun must have been too powerful for them.

    I can’t remember what I did to provide shade, but when I did, the light on their faces was still brilliant. As I leaned in closer, I recognized them. Jonathan and Michael.

    Immediately, I thought about putting sunscreen, baseball caps and sunglasses on them.

    “I need to get you down there. I made a lovely space for you there.” I told them, as I gestured toward the home in the valley.

    Jonathan and Michael smiled. They didn’t speak, but their smile told me everything. I understood their message. They were staying on the top of the hill.

    Throughout the day, I have been processing this dream and connecting the pieces I remember.

    “We are in The Light. We are happy, at peace, together. Now, we watch over you and Jim in the valley from our hill top perch.”

    This dream energized me to clean our home today, which it desperately needs. I can’t chase around Daisy, so I used my Dyson stick to vacuum the floors and rugs (including the rug in Michael’s room). Then, I mopped (including Jon’s room), which I haven’t done in so long, I can’t even estimate. I’m just doing something all of the time, and I wear out, and things get left undone.

    Jim is becoming more independent now, fixing his own tea, getting his cookies or making toast, when I’m in bed dreaming. Going to the bathroom, so I am not involved in bending/stooping to change his briefs. I’m so proud of him, and truly grateful, because I know he is doing all of this for me.

    I strained my back mopping, so Jim applied Aspercreme and handed me a Tylenol, and we watched a movie together.

    I have long held that our home is a reflection of ourselves. If our home is in chaos or out of order, then we are out of order. I know this is true, because even with this searing back pain, I can see the floors are clean and shiny now. I have a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

    I don’t think Jonathan and Michael were telling me to clean the house, of course. I feel assured by their visit that they are safe, together, and in Bliss. They want me to “get my ‘house’ in order.”

    Yesterday, the fountain in Michael’s pond was decreasing its volume. I scooped out a ton of algae, which is quite heavy, by the way, and debris, and then I put the hose in the pond to fill it with more water. The fountain didn’t take long before it began shooting like a Yellowstone geyser.

    Then, I watered plants, and I decided to just hose down the patio doors and wipe the screen. Filthy from the rain and our leaking gutters, winds, and our dirt back yard. Jim watched me grab paper towels and wipe down the doors and screen. When I finished, Jim said, “That looks great, honey!”

    I laughed, “Now you have a better view of the dirt, Dear!”

    Jonathan and Michael are on the hill. Jim and I are in the valley. And, I’m “tidying up.”

    When all of the tidying up is done, we’ll all be on the hill together.

    And in the ocean, as a reef to generate new life for this beautiful planet.

    As always, we thank you for your love, prayers, positive, healing energy, and never-ending support. We love you and pray for you and your loved ones.

    Someday, we will all meet on the hill.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Last edited by Earth Mother 2 Angels; 06-04-2019 at 04:48 PM.
    Mom to Jon, 49, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. Now, they watch over Jim and me.

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  3. #2

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    Dear Rose,

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful dream. Your guys will always be looking down watching you and Jim. They are at peace together and shine through your light and love you have together.

    Marcie

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    Rose, thanks for this post. It reminded me of a dream I once had when I needed it most. Sometime that is when our loved ones are there, when we need them the most.
    Virginia

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    Such a comforting dream, Rose, thank you for sharing it.

    It brings me comfort in the larger scheme of life too to hear of your dream.

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  9. #5
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    Hi Rose,

    OMG! This dream had me smiling ear to ear for Jon and Michael to be in a beautiful place like that!! I’m so thrilled you got to see your precious angels again! Even though I know it must be incredibly sad/painful too. Like I said in other threads your boys are telling you “Mommy, we are fine. Everything is okay.” I adore your unconditional love for your boys and Jim and I continue to pray. Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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    So great that Michael and Jon revealed themselves.

    Lovely.

    ANN
    There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK

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    Rose, What a beautiful post. I'm so glad your dream was clear to you and gave you the "energy" you need to move forward. You knew it would happen in good time and it did. What a beautiful and inspiring message. I have to tell you I got goose bumps at this line
    "I was with familiar people, who were friends, although I couldn’t attach an identity to any of them. I just knew that we all loved each other and were spending time together in this serene place."
    It hit me... that this could be your friends/family here at braintalk! I hope that we are able to give you this kind of peace, support, and joy. You don't have faces for everyone here and that is why you couldn't attach and identity possibly...

    This line is just so poetic I think you could turn this whole post into a poem!

    We are in The Light. We are happy, at peace, together. Now, we watch over you and Jim in the valley from our hill top perch.”
    Mary Grace

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    Quote Originally Posted by mg12061 View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Rose, What a beautiful post. I'm so glad your dream was clear to you and gave you the "energy" you need to move forward. You knew it would happen in good time and it did. What a beautiful and inspiring message. I have to tell you I got goose bumps at this line
    "I was with familiar people, who were friends, although I couldn’t attach an identity to any of them. I just knew that we all loved each other and were spending time together in this serene place."
    It hit me... that this could be your friends/family here at braintalk! I hope that we are able to give you this kind of peace, support, and joy. You don't have faces for everyone here and that is why you couldn't attach and identity possibly...

    This line is just so poetic I think you could turn this whole post into a poem!

    We are in The Light. We are happy, at peace, together. Now, we watch over you and Jim in the valley from our hill top perch.”
    Mary Grace
    What a beautiful thought about the others in the dream being from BT Mary Grace! That made me tear up!
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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    Funnylegs, It made me tear up when I was reading Rose's post. I immediately thought it was BT friends,I don't know why but it just popped into my head as I read it. I remember Roses posts that ended with a beautiful beach picture with chairs and an umbrella. Inviting us to "join her" pull up a chair bring a drink or a snack and relax. Thank you Rose for all you do and all your heartfelt support. Hope you always feel our support.
    Mary Grace

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  19. #10
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    Default New Signs

    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    Marcie, Virginia, SuzE-Q,, funnylegs4, ANN, & Mary Grace ~

    Thank you so much for your sweet replies. I truly do feel all of your support every day, and I’m so very grateful for your friendship.

    A very perceptive observation too, Mary Grace, about the friends I didn’t recognize by face but by spirit in my dream. It makes absolute sense that all of you were the friends in my dream, because you’ve been surrounding me with so much love and caring. And, I’m sharing our story with all of you.

    We were all enjoying our fellowship together, and it always seems in my dreams that there is something happening everywhere around me. I can’t be specific, but my typical gatherings with friends involve cooking in the kitchen, eating, conversations, settling in to a comfy chair or outside with a cool sea breeze wafting over us. That’s how it felt in my dream.

    Thank you all for being there with me!

    In my teens, I began writing poetry and lyrics. I continued to write until a few years ago. I wrote so many poems/lyrics for Michael after he passed. I’ve tried twice to write poems/lyrics for Jonathan, and I just end up crying.

    I have been too stressed about Jim to be able to relax enough to let my spirit find the words to express my grief and my joy. I’m sure that the words will wend their way toward me someday, and I won’t be able to stop writing.

    Our first Christmas after Michael passed, we gave Jonathan the “Concert for George” DVD. George Harrison was Michael’s favorite artist, and “Here Comes the Sun” was played at Michael’s Celebration of Life service. The hospital chaplain remarked, “I believe that is the first time that a Beatle's song has been played in the hospital chapel. How perfect.”

    “Concert for George” was played many times in Jonathan’s room, as he loved George too, and he understood that all of these songs were special to Michael. It was difficult for me, because I always cried, while we watched it. Jonathan would reach out his hand to me, we'd hug, and he’d pat me to comfort me. Then look at me with his soulful blue eyes and his sweet smile.

    For weeks after Jonathan passed, I kept hearing George’s song, “All Things Must Pass,” in my head. It just was on a loop in my head.

    The song, which always brought on the flood of tears, is the concert’s closing song, “I’ll See You in My Dreams.”

    I’ll include YouTube links at the end of this post.

    NEW SIGNS

    The Hawk

    As I was preparing lunch for Jim today, I looked out the kitchen window, and there, perched on the edge of Michael’s pond, was a hawk. The hawk was facing our house, looking side to side. He was next to the fountain.

    I exclaimed, “OH, JIM! On Michael’s Pond!”

    Jim can’t see Michael’s pond/waterfall from his bed, but he knew what I meant and answered, “A hawk?”

    “YES!”

    I described the hawk and every move he made to Jim. The hawk turned sideways, so I could see him better from Michael’s and then Jonathan’s windows. He stayed for at least 10 minutes.

    When I served Jim his lunch, he smiled, “They’re with us, honey.”

    Instacart Shopper

    I ordered from Instacart today, and the shopper has shopped for us a couple of times previously. She’s a chatty gal, 49, as I learned today. She chirped, “I haven’t seen you for awhile. How are you and your family?”

    I told her that Jonathan had passed. She welled up with tears. “I’m so very very sorry. Oh my, how are you doing? This has to be the hardest thing in the world, to lose your child.”

    I told her about Michael and that they were disabled. “And they lived here all their lives with you?”

    I nodded.

    "I can’t imagine your pain. But, I want you to know this: your sons are still with you. I know this for a fact.” She then began telling me about her Mother and brother and their contacts with her after they passed.

    I couldn’t say more than, “I know,” as she is, as I mentioned, chatty. I thanked her for sharing with me and shopping for me. She said she’d pray for us, and she hoped to shop for us again soon.

    I can’t say enough about how really nice all of my Instacart shoppers have been or how much of a blessing this service has been for me.

    MUSIC

    All Things Must Pass

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66y2xYdRfro

    I’ll See You in My Dreams

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBWNJPI2ER4

    Here Comes The Sun

    With many of Jonathan’s and Michael’s favorites in the band:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGKPHFrHVVY

    Thank you all so much for your love, prayers, and wonderful friendship.

    Someday, we will all meet on the hill.

    In the meantime, we can meet here ~



    Plenty of cabanas, chairs, fresh organic food, and smoothies ~



    I love you.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 49, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. Now, they watch over Jim and me.

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