Taking a lot of meds for a lot of different things and when I had my heart attack they added 6. I take 8 in the a.m. and 9 in the p.m. Heart, psych, miscellaneous. There would be more if it weren't for the MMJ. I have a mood plateau and I sit on the border all day long finding myself going from one side to the other. One side is 'im okay' and the other is deep depression. I am sick of this going back and forth, it isn't day by day it is moment to moment. So many extraneous things are wrong and my mood switches constantly so their effect on me is extraordinarily draining. My mind, my energy, my emotions, my ability to function on a moment to moment basis. I am so tired of it and I don't dare think ahead because that brings me to tears. But unfortunately I am an over thinker. I feel like if I don't stay on top of things constantly then no one will and nothing will get done. Don't get me wrong, I can and do do a lot but there in lies the base. The things I can't do, the things I can try to do. Things I can barely do. All the things that need to be done feel like an anvil over my head and the rope is frayed. My nerves are frayed. So therefore I am frozen in my spot. Not much gets done and it turns into a vicious cycle. I work til I hurt then I stop the worst part is that it doesn't take long until my body gives out. It is so frustrating.