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Thread: How long

  1. #1
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Question How long

    I am conflicted right now and it is causing emotional Pain. I lost my Wife 2 years ago. I still miss her very much. However, I have a friend that , well, she is special too me, and I am not sure where I am at. She is is in the same position. We had a very frank talk and left it up in the air. At first, I was sort of dating her, Now it is just the opposite. Tonight is a good example. I want to go to a place where I sing Kareoke, She is no longer a member so she can't join me. I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. It's a little latr to ask her out tonight, although I have been missing her all day - but then I get get mixed signals - Yes, I am Socially awkward (at 63 no less) and have a hard time with relationships - Esp. Starting one and keeping it going. Is it too soon, Don't know. Am I ready, Don't know. I am going out, but will work to see her in the weekend. If anybody has any advice, I would appreciatr it.
    AKA Skypilot Steve
    Am I possibly Lovesick, Very Possibly

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Community Member houghchrst's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Blog Entries


    HI Alex. Is this the same special friend you mentioned before or have you found someone new? It's only too soon if you feel that way. Why did it get left in the air? Were you both hesitant to make plans? A commitment? Fear? Let me tell you something, you don't have time to be miserable, to be hesitant. To put it bluntly. You deserve to feel loved and cared for and if you believe this woman can give it to you then go for it. As for mixed signals y'all are gonna have to get past that. You need to know now. Both of you. Time is creeping away. I know that sounds bad but it is true for all of us. Life is too short and you're both grownups. I say go for it. Speak your mind and no more mixed signals. You deserve to know. Otherwise move on.

    Sounds simple and straightforward doesn't it. The simplicity comes with the saying I know that the implementation of the advice is a lot harder.

    Thinking of you often, glad you have regained your butterflies.

    I want to tell you that you will always love and miss your wife. you two have wonderful memories together. You won't lose those. The sting of the memories may soften as you move on in your life but there will always be that special place in you that is just hers.
    Last edited by houghchrst; 05-12-2019 at 07:27 AM.

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  5. #3
    Community Member Lil E's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Fremont, CA


    Hi Alex,
    Only you know how you feel. There is no special time limit for wanting to love someone again. It’s what gets us through our hardest times and helps the good ones be better. You have mourned the loss of your partner but you are still here. Life is short, love is hard to find. If you are finding love again don’t pass it up.
    If no pain, no gain is true, where is everything I should have gained?
    DDD, Fibro, CFS, pain for 20 years. ADR c 5/6 Feb. 2018 doing well.
    Back to pain management, fibromyalgia getting worse.

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  7. #4
    Distinguished Community Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007


    Thank Al of you! Yes, it is the same person I have mentioned before. we had a good talk, I think we were finaly honest with each other, only problem is, We are both wondering if we want a relationship past friends - neither one of us is sure. there are other issues in play, but that is not up for discussion, Sorry. am still trying to get my emotions under control, I am either depressed or happy - does not seem to be an in-between - I take an anti-D, only a small dose since anything more makes me flat. I guess time will tell, Again, Thank all of you for you support, this forum has probably kept the curtain up for me, Getting old and medical issues are NOY for the weak. As I have said before, my faith is sustaining me, along with All my friends.
    Aka Skypilot Steve

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