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Thread: OT May Chit Chat

  1. #111
    Distinguished Community Member Howie's Avatar
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    I have a drawer in the living room where I keep the instruction manuals for everything in the house, and a metal case that holds the instruction manuals for every part on Pinky. Something I picked up from my Dad.
    Last edited by Howie; 05-11-2019 at 06:38 PM.
    Evolution spans the Universe.

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  3. #112
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    I have a container specially for instruction manuals too.

    Isn't that a different vehicle in your avatar photo?
    MS, diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009.

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  5. #113
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    He has had that different vehicle for his avatar for a couple of days. It looks like a sports car.
    Virginia

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  7. #114
    Distinguished Community Member Cherie's Avatar
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    ANN,
    Sounds like you have seen some results but have not yet had the chance to fully discuss with your Dr or maybe not fully process the implications. I am grateful some of the worst things have been ruled out. Tell us more when you are able.

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  9. #115
    Distinguished Community Member Howie's Avatar
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    That avatar is a Karmann Ghia, just not Pinky. And the rear fenders are custom, wider ones, and several other differences. Ghias were made to be customized. I've even seen one where a guy added a Viper V-10 engine, and put it up front. A beautiful car! Here is a video of it!

    https://www.streetmusclemag.com/news...-a-viper-v-10/
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jDQ...ature=youtu.be
    Last edited by Howie; 05-13-2019 at 07:45 PM.
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  11. #116
    Distinguished Community Member Cherie's Avatar
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    Folks, if you don't mind, I could use some space to vent about my birth family. None can see my words here which is mightily important right now.

    Baby Brother Neil has always been difficult. I think Mom and Dad were exhausted when #7 arrived before my 9th birthday (I am the oldest). To top it all off, he was a very restless and irritable baby and rocked his crib across the room every night. My parents moved the crib out of the bedroom with the two other boys and put it in a little niche on the upstairs landing between two bedrooms and the bathroom and he managed to rock it forward 10 feet and down 5 steps onto a landing suffering some head injury in the process at probably 6-8 months of age. His entire childhood was "different" and he got away with things none of the rest of us ever would or could have. He maintained that my Dad beat him regularly and he was the only kid who did the right thing and what was expected then , as an adult, retreated into his "cave " (a trailer on the property adjacent to the main farmhouse separated by a small stream) and declared himself dyslexic and agoraphobic. Quit school at 16 reading at the second grade level. That has rarely been challenged. He has gotten heavily into the drug scene first growing, processing and selling MJ before it was legal for medical use then getting into harder stuff and ultimately selling it. Paranoia has been the rule of order in his life for most of the last 40 years.

    Now he is morbidly obese, a brittle diabetic, hypertensive, divorced, living alone in a place that , by all rights should be condemned, and is very ill. He has a condition known as Charcot's foot which develops secondary to neuropathy and causes the foot to be repeatedly injured and not heal because the individual cannot feel how badly it is injured and continues to use it. Currently (and off and on for the past 4 years) he has multiple fractures in that foot and they are only getting worse because he will not stay off it (lives alone, has a dog, has no one to cook or clean...etc) He has now developed a couple of pressure ulcers on that foot that are tracking inward and the X-Rays show that the bones are infected and disintegrating. At this point he has been on IV antibiotics for the past month and a half, has a PIC line and will be on antibiotics for the next month at least. This is messing with his diabetes, kidneys and heart. He now has District nurses coming in 7 days a week for IVs and wound care but still calls each of his 6 older sibs at least once or twice a week to guilt trip us into coming and caring for him. Two of us live 8 hours from where he lives. Of those two, I have MS, diabetes...not well controlled and on new meds, hypertension, also not well controlled and am still working and traveling at least once a month. The other sister , 6 miles from me, has an inoperable brain tumor and is having several seizures a day as a result and cannot drive. We both are being guilt-tripped into coming and caring for him. Another sister who lives 20 miles from him was to have surgery yesterday to reconstruct her shoulder. It was cancelled due to her poor health. Neil gave her the flu 6 weeks ago as well as pneumonia and she is still hacking and miserable and has slept in a chair for the past 4 weeks in order to be able to breathe. Her husband has been driving her to Neil's house every day to change his dressings and help him with his IVs. She has been told by her DR as of 2 days ago that she can no longer help him as it is literally killing her and she and her husband took off today for 2 weeks to their son's house 4 hours away from Neil. (her husband's only sister lost her husband to ALS 2 weeks ago and they both lost an aunt on the same day.)

    Youngest sister is trying to run a 1000+ acre farm three miles from where Neil lives while her husband is recovering from 2 knee replacements, a broken back and two shoulder injuries. They cannot keep hired help so she is helping with the daily running of a dairy farm with 300 milkers and a beef herd of 200 animals. PLUS she is one of a handful of licensed massage therapists in the area and is running her own business and she is also babysitting for 4 grandchildren from 6 months to 8 years of age while their parents work. She cannot help Neil. Brother Ben is the other working sibling who should be on disability due to a catastrophic motor vehicle accident 15 years ago that broke is back, neck, pelvis, leg, arm and skull but is driving for the County to take people to medical appointments. He says he cannot help Neil because he needs to support his family. Brother Roger lives next door to Neil and has taken so much stuff from him over the years that he will only care for the dog at this point.

    I know I cannot help. Despite that I feel guilty that I am refusing to drive the 16 hour round trip to physically help. I hurt for sibs that have given till they can give no more and feel a bit caught in the middle and hoped for for a solution and judged for not helping. Needed to write all this down. I will delete if it brings too many down or feels inappropriate to have here. Sorry in advance and thank you for letting me spew.

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  13. #117
    Distinguished Community Member nuthatch's Avatar
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    Thought I'd share a pic my daughter sent of a Maypole tradition in which Tula and friends participated in, on Mother's Day. Tula's got the yellow ribbon on the left. Wish I could have been there.
    Agate, didn't you once say you remember a Maypole experience from your childhood?
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  15. #118
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    That is alright Cherie. If it helps to put it on paper, as you said it is safe here. I don't know if anyone will have any answers. I can tell you that my Father's Mother was living with my Dad and Mother. She was diabetic and a very good woman who we all loved dearly. This was before I returned to Raleigh. My Mother's Doctor told my Father that Mother would die if she continued to try and care for my grandmother. My Grandmother felt she should help out and would do things like wash the dishes, but because her hands were so sensitive she would use water that was not hot enough or not enough soap. Small things but Mother was constantly going behind her taking dishes out of the cabinets and rewashing them. This would be after my Grandmother went to bed. Anyway, you probably get the picture. My Grandmother was also incontinent.

    It was very sad, but they finally put her in a nursing home. It was still hard because my Mother was the one that continued to go and take care of her. My Mother died at the age of 66. My Grandmother lived until the age of 87. By the way, Daddy was an only child so that left Mother the only woman in the family.

    Your story reminded me that sometime there is no help for hard things. I wonder if the family could get together and put him in a home, or would he be too hard to deal with to get a home to keep him? Neither you nor any of your sisters are able to take care of him and somehow he has to be made to realize that. There is a possibility that if he was told it was to only get him well and that he could then return home, he might go without too much trouble. Well, I expect he would still make everyone feel as guilty as he could, but he is doing that anyway.

    I wish you all well. This is a very sad situation.
    Virginia

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  17. #119
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    Nuthatch, Agate might have been in a Maypole, but I was also while in grammar school. I remember we made out costumes out of colored tissue paper. I think I wore pink. I might have been young enough to have participated in that two years. I thought we did it on the first day of May or first school week-end in May. It's only been a couple of years you know....LOL
    Virginia

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  19. #120
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    ((((((Cherie)))))) ~

    You, and every one of your siblings, including Neil, have severe, serious, and difficult situations. It seems that all of you could use the extra help of each other, but none of you is able to provide that help. None of you should feel guilty about not being able to help Neil or each other. Each of you should focus on helping yourselves and your spouses. That's just the way it is, given that you all have major medical issues. If any of you were well, you'd probably be there to help the others.

    Neil has 7 day nursing service for his IV and wound care. Any additional help that he needs should be filled by an assistant or an aide. Perhaps you all could get together to try to find a service that would provide an aide for him. Maybe check into local resources, volunteers, any options, which might help Neil, and alleviate all of you of the obligation you feel to help him.

    It's not like you are purposely avoiding helping Neil. None of you can handle anything more than what you're already managing. So, try to give yourself a break and think of other options to providing his care. The stress of worrying about Neil and feeling guilty isn't good for any of you.

    My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 49, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. Now, they watch over Jim and me.

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