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Thread: Being in a wheelchair makes one feel invisible

  1. #11
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    My Father was slower funnylegs in getting words out, but he was able to do it, if given just an extra little bit of time. His brain was working well and he played chess and checkers with my brothers and talked to me about normal subjects.

    My brothers did not intentionally let him win when they played games, but often he did. He was thought of as one of the best alternator builders in this area and my youngest brother would sometime call and say Dad, my car is doing such and such and what do you think is wrong with it. Daddy would later call him back and tell him what needed to be checked. My brother said he was right on the money. My brother would do this so that Dad's mind would remain active.
    Virginia

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virginia View Post
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    My Father was slower funnylegs in getting words out, but he was able to do it, if given just an extra little bit of time. His brain was working well and he played chess and checkers with my brothers and talked to me about normal subjects.

    My brothers did not intentionally let him win when they played games, but often he did. He was thought of as one of the best alternator builders in this area and my youngest brother would sometime call and say Dad, my car is doing such and such and what do you think is wrong with it. Daddy would later call him back and tell him what needed to be checked. My brother said he was right on the money. My brother would do this so that Dad's mind would remain active.
    Ah so just the muscles used for communicating were effected? I noticed people assume if stroke survivors have slow speech they must automatically have intellectual disabilities whereas the few people with aphasia I had the pleasure of meeting were very intelligent and were better communicators than I am. Even if stroke survivors have intellectual disabilities they should still be spoken to directly. I'm so glad he could still speak and that his mind remained sharp and fully functioning. He sounds like a wonder person and I wish I could meet him!
    Last edited by funnylegs4; 01-21-2019 at 02:02 PM.
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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  5. #13
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    Thank you funnylegs! He died of cancer a long time ago.
    Virginia

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    Quote Originally Posted by Virginia View Post
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    Thank you funnylegs! He died of cancer a long time ago.
    I'm so so sorry he died of cancer! :'(
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Not addressing the person in a wheelchair directly is demeaning to that person. What possible reason could anyone have for turning to someone else to ask, "Is he/she fasting?" without ever trying to ask that person directly? The only reason I can think of is laziness. It's just easier to ask a person who is at about your eye level and not in a wheelchair.

    And it's a way of distancing yourself from the whole group of people in wheelchairs. You're in effect saying, "People in wheelchairs aren't human like the rest of us." That is beyond insulting.
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.


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    Agate, you said it well. That is exactly how we felt about my Father who was only in his 60s when he had a stroke. It was probably partially brought on by grief. My Mother had died the year before. Then he had to suffer the indignities of many of the medical professionals.
    Virginia

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    Couples of long standing seem to die very close together. My mother died about a year after my dad passed.
    Evolution spans the Universe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by agate View Post
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    Not addressing the person in a wheelchair directly is demeaning to that person. What possible reason could anyone have for turning to someone else to ask, "Is he/she fasting?" without ever trying to ask that person directly? The only reason I can think of is laziness. It's just easier to ask a person who is at about your eye level and not in a wheelchair.

    And it's a way of distancing yourself from the whole group of people in wheelchairs. You're in effect saying, "People in wheelchairs aren't human like the rest of us." That is beyond insulting.
    I noticed a patten of people assuming the disabled person will not understand or it will take too long for the disabled person to give an answer because they assume physical disability means mental disability or they think they are saving time. It is indeed very lazy. People just don't have patience for interaction anymore.
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    You've nailed it. If you don't look all able-bodied and fresh as a daisy, people don't have time for you. A mobility aid, especially a wheelchair, seems like wearing a sign screaming out that you're disabled.

    I sometimes think it would be nifty if I could wear a sign on my wheelchair saying, "This could be YOU some time."
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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  18. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by agate View Post
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    You've nailed it. If you don't look all able-bodied and fresh as a daisy, people don't have time for you. A mobility aid, especially a wheelchair, seems like wearing a sign screaming out that you're disabled.

    I sometimes think it would be nifty if I could wear a sign on my wheelchair saying, "This could be YOU some time."
    Good points. That's why I make them have time for me and why people with invisible conditions work so darn hard to hide their conditions to the point where it does more damage than good. That would be a neat shirt. However should we really be sending that message which makes disability sound like bad karma or a punishment when ending up like us seems to be their biggest fear and part of why some of them want us dead? Just something to ponder. Not a criticism.
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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