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Thread: 2018 promises to be sucky

  1. #1

    Default 2018 promises to be sucky

    Hi - really, really endeavor to keep from bitching and moaning, to not have general negativity as part of my thinking. This has become difficult lately. Sister, who is usually caring and understanding, said, "since you're not driving any longer, maybe consider giving me your pickup instead of selling or donating it" (she was aghast that I donated to a local charity my primo 1965 Ambassador by Rambler.) Hurt my feelings to learn that she's just as greedy as my two brothers.

    Plus, had trouble the other day getting into the house. Couldn't lift my right leg high enough to make it into the house. Wound up falling with the walker backwards two steps into the garage. Wife is usually understanding that everyday things can be challenging at a moment's notice. As I'm lying on the garage's cement floor, she angrily says that she doesn't have time for this. So she goes next door, gets the twins to pick me up then, when thanking the guys, berates my inability to walk as well as I did a coupe of months ago. The guys were shocked about what she said. I was mortified. Once in the house, she got ready to go to her thing while I made it to my recliner.

    It sure is a new year.
    Ya Can't Argue With An Idiot


  2. #2
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    Sorry, Tweeker, how awful. Frustration is leaking out around the edges, big time.

    No advice. Just understanding.
    ANN
    There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK

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  4. #3
    Distinguished Community Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    It’s nice you had witnesses of what happened. Makes it less lonely somehow.

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  6. #4
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    People who don't have MS just don't seem to get it and they lose patience. Of course we want to lose patience too but we're stuck with it. It's not as if we want to fall.

    Hope you weren't injured in the fall. Falling on a cement floor is pretty bad.

    Maybe your wife and sister will come to their senses and realize they're not treating you with consideration, to put it mildly.
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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  8. #5

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    Hi - yeah, it's tough being me. My wife's really not usually a snot about stuff. Especially when it comes to things MS. She'S lived with my MS for nearly 50 years so she knows first hand how I struggle for a modicum of normalcy. Jest another day. Thanks
    Ya Can't Argue With An Idiot

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  10. #6
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    Tweeker, I think Agate and Ann said it so well. Frustration and loss of patience! It still doesn't make it any easier for you, but maybe it is just normal for these things to sometimes happen when two people have lived together that long and one is somewhat disabled and cannot do the things that the other one can do. It puts a lot of stress on the disabled person to try and do things that they can't do, or at least I have found that to be true of myself.

    Hope things get better. Just glad you were not hurt.
    Virginia

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  12. #7
    Distinguished Community Member Earth Mother 2 Angels's Avatar
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    ((((((Tweeker)))))) ~

    I'm so sorry that you've had these unpleasant encounters with your sister and your wife, and that your feelings have been hurt. I understand greed among family members, and I think it's pretty common, unfortunately.

    What is important is that you donated your Rambler to a charity, which was only your choice to make, no one else's. Don't let your sister push your buttons on this one. It is not worth the stress and what the stress does to your system/body.

    By the way, I drove a 1959 apple-green colored Rambler in my college days. It was just a basic chassis and engine. My parents drove an Ambassador for a few years too.

    As a caregiver for my son and now my husband, I offer my experience. Sometimes, a caregiver struggles with burn out. It's not that s/he doesn't love and cherish her loved one, s/he is just exhausted and maybe needs a break.

    Sometimes, I crave just a few moments of normalcy, whatever that means, because we're not "normal," or "average," or "typical." You, me and my family, and everyone here are dealing with an extraordinary medical issue, a long lasting medical issue, and all of the accommodations that need to be made to cope with those medical issues. That is our "normal."

    So, for us, normalcy is about whatever we can do to find a normal-like space. And maybe that's the space, where we get our second wind, which helps us to keep going forward with providing care to our loved one or to managing our condition better.

    Prevention is worth a pound of cure. From what you described about your fall, I'm wondering if you could prevent this from occurring again by adapting that space. A ramp? Any kind of adaptation, which would make it easier for you to maneuver from the garage into the house using your walker. And not requiring you to step up.

    If you are safer in your ambulation, that will reduce the stress you and your wife feel about your falling. And it will protect you from serious injury or harm from falling.

    If there are other obstacles in your home or environment, perhaps you could explore ways of adapting them to accommodate your needs and be safer for you. Maybe 2018 is the year when you adapt your environment to meet your needs. That might result in less stress and better communication between you and your wife. Fewer fears and worries helps everyone.

    Healing prayers on the way for you ~

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 48, (seizure disorder; Gtube; trache; colostomy; osteoporosis; hypothyroid; enlarged prostate; lymphedema, assorted mysteries) and Michael, 32, (intractable seizures; Gtube), who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003 and now resides in Heaven. Our Angel Jon lives at home with me and Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad.

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  14. #8
    Distinguished Community Member nuthatch's Avatar
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    Understanding. Keep on keeping on, Tweeker.

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  16. #9
    Distinguished Community Member Frog42's Avatar
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    I understand. Best to not say anything. I don't get many apologies either.


    Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. -- Miguel Ruiz

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