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    Default Sharing my angel

    Good morning everyone! My name is Tracy. I was an old regular years ago on the child neurology forum. I lost all my information and have been gone a long time. I am a mom to three beautiful children. Our oldest son is married and we have a beautiful granddaughter. Our youngest son is in high school. Our beautiful daughter, Megan went home to be with Jesus August 18, 2015. Our sweet angel was our life. When I have more time, I will tell you our full story. Just wanted to stop by and introduce myself. Yesterday was our angels birthday in heaven. Thought I would share my thoughts for her birthday. All my love and prayers to all of you.
    According to Webster’s Dictionary, the definition of birthday is: the anniversary of the day on which a person was born, typically treated as an occasion for celebration and the giving of gifts.
    Today October 11th our angel in heaven is 23 years old. We have “celebrated” three birthdays without her on this earth. She has only been gone 2 years, but she went home about 7 weeks before her 21st birthday. I can’t really say “celebrated” is the right word. When you can’t physically hug your child or go out and buy your child that special gift, or have the cake and all the joy that a birthday brings, celebrate takes on a completely different meaning.
    For me, the day will be bittersweet. It will be a day remembering the day she was born. The day she wasn’t expected to live at all. The day we had to make the decision to take her off life support. The day we gathered around her hospital crib and had her baptized and said our goodbyes. A time of triumph leaving the NICU with our baby girl. Gods plan. Gods WILL. Her strength. Her beauty. Her pure soul. Her perfection. Her courage. Her struggles. Her laugh. Her smell. Her strength. Her hair. Her eyes. Cute little toes and button nose. Her smile, they said she would never give.
    It will be a day full of memories. Happy and sad. Gratefulness and blessings. Unfairness and anger.
    A mother wants her child in her arms. To kiss and to hug. To pamper and love. To smell her one more time. To see her eyes shine. To hear her giggle. To just sit back and watch her while she sleeps. So peaceful. To walk in her room and sing “good morning to you”, to kiss her forehead and put her to bed. To stub my toe on the wheelchair. ( Boy did I do that many times). To hear the oxygen machine running at night. Checking the monitor and seeing her sleeping so sound. To make her special foods. To give her a bath and have our spa days. Unfortunately, these have all went away.
    The pain changes over time. It never goes away. It will always be there deep inside tucked away. Unless your child is gone, there are no words to describe this kind of pain or loss. Nothing compares. I pray hard, no other parents have to walk this path. It has a devastating aftermath. No clichés are needed, like she’s in a better place. You see, I know that. It is just a hard fact to embrace. I do find great comfort in knowing she is dancing with Jesus in heaven again this year. But the mom in me, still wants my baby here.
    We will go to the cemetery with 23 purple balloons in tow. We will sing “Happy Birthday”, and shed tears and wish you were here to celebrate with presents and bows.
    God called you home. His plan is bigger, and grander than I can even imagine. My dear angel in heaven above, watch for the balloons heading heaven bound. They are filled with all of our hugs and love from home. Go run my dear and blow out those candles and celebrate with our Father. I hope you can hear mommy singing Happy Birthday my dear daughter.
    To everyone reading this, go kiss your children. Let them know how much you love them. Tomorrow is not promised. Live, laugh, love, forgive, forget, be happy, eat the cake, drink the wine, act goofy, be passionate, gracious, kind, giving, receiving. Love yourself. Love others. Let go of the drama and bull****. Life is too short!! Be the best you, you can be. Live for you and your children and grandchildren. Call your parents or grandparents, remember all they have done to get you where you are today. Help out a neighbor, a co worker, a stranger. In honor of our Meggie’s 23rd birthday today, do something nice for someone else. Then thank God for all the blessings you have in your life. I know, I'll be on my knees giving glory to the Lord for all that he has given me. Hugs

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