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Thread: Jim's Update

  1. #631
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    ((((((Donna)))))) ~

    Grief is exhausting, as well as all of the preparations for your mom's service and reception and the social interaction involved. That's a lot of stress hormones, and now your body is just crashing. It could also affect your thyroid, so if it continues, perhaps you could ask your doctor for a blood draw.

    Add to that Nick's birthday, which is a different kind of stress. It's a big event.

    I recommend that you put your feet up and try to rest, especially since you are expecting guests next week.

    With turning Jon, my primary concern is stress on Jim, which he has been told to avoid. Exertion, etc. He claims he isn't exerting, but Jon weighs at least 200 lbs now with all the fluid. Jon does seem to resist Jim, but not John, when he gets turned. He probably feels a little more secure, because John is a young, strong man.

    Jim seems to have relief now with his dentures, and he's eating better.

    He didn't have a headache yesterday, but he had one this morning. He didn't sleep well last night. He says that he feels like his sinuses are blocked giving him a thickness in his forehead.

    Yesterday, he jumped and grabbed his right side. He's had pain in this location a few times. He does have gallstones and diverticulitus. This is why the CT scan and brain MRI are needed, and soon.

    On a happy note, yesterday, our new toilets were installed! YAY! They are wonderful! The plumbers, Dad and Son, laughed when I said goodbye to the old toilets and jumped for joy, when the new ones came in. I asked Dad, "Don't all of your customers get excited, when they get new toilets?"

    He smiled, "No. Not really."

    That's probably because most customers aren't in a similar situation as we are. These new toilets will save me a ton of back breaking stooping, bending, contorting to clean them.

    Donna, you know that we hold you, Jim, Nick, Natalie, Karen and your family in our prayers. I'm sending you extra prayers for rest and strength.

    We love you!

    Love & Light,



    Rose & The Guys
    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

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  3. #632
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    Hooray for new toilets!!! I know exactly how long you have been needing these, Rose, and I am SO happy that your life is that one big bit easier with new plumbing :) !!!! I'm so happy for you. You are right, dear friend. I am psychically tired, I think. I know that my Mom was (wrote IS and had to correct to WAS) 96 so I should have certainly expected her death. But she was healthy and so darned vibrant that I just wasn't expecting it. It will take a while to sink in.

    And our sweet Nick is 30. Wow, I can't believe it. God Bless him. I honestly think so many people (like you!) have been rooting for him all these years that he has been buoyed by all that love.
    Thank you, thank you so so much.
    xoxo Donna
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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  5. #633
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    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    So Ö

    Jon scratched his thigh, and since heís filled with water, it is weeping excessively. I mean, itís gushing! Another wound!

    Jim has been headache free for a few days, which is a good sign. He weighs 160 lbs., also a good sign. I made a Tofurky ham, mashed potatoes, fresh carrots and peas for dinner tonight.

    Our goddaughter texted me tonight that her brotherís father-in-law is in ICU, after surgery to remove his intestines and a portion of his rectum. Last year, he was cancer free from lung cancer. Evidently, chemo is being blamed for his current situation. His prognosis is grim. Itís a small town in Oregon, and I donít know the level of care heís receiving.

    Of course, her brother is also our godson. And his wife is our goddaughter too.

    I am at a crossroads to tell Jim about this, but I have to tell him. These are our godchildren. We have to support them. And we have to support their mom, who has many health issues and may not have the strength to give them what they need at this time.

    I just sit here, sighing.

    Two of our dear friends were diagnosed recently with skin cancer, one squamous cell, the other, melanoma. Itís a cancer boom among baby boomers.

    Sighing.

    Deep Breaths.

    Move Forward Ö

    Thank you all for your love, support, prayers, and positive, healing energy.

    You are in our prayers always.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

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  7. #634
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    Ohhhh no. Cancer boom, for sure. I am so sorry about what your godson and goddaughter and their family is going through. It sounds horrendous. And your dear friends on top of everything. It's weird how when someone close to us gets a disease or one of our children is diagnosed with a disability, then all of a sudden it seems to be everywhere. I wonder why that is. Do you remember life before cancer and disability, Rose? Are the memories of carefree perfect health still vivid? My memories of that time are fading. I was 18 when my Dad his first stroke and I was 20 when he passed away in 1975. My Dad's first stroke was when my life changed entirely. It's a long time ago now. Of course I have had so many happy memories in the meantime since then, but they are all with some kind of health challenges in my family. Funny old life. I'm so sorry about your loved ones' cancers. I send love and prayers. xoxo Donna
    Donna, Mum to Natalie (22), ablebodied, kind and beautiful and Nicholas(26), severe CP, non-verbal, tube fed, multiple surgeries, chronic pain, happy kid except when the Liverpool football club or the Ottawa Senators Hockey Team are losing!
    Check out my blog: http://www.donnathomson.com


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  9. #635
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    ((((((Donna)))))) ~

    Even when a loved one's passing is expected, it's still a shock. Time is the only true healing balm. In some ways, we don't actually stop grieving. We just learn to be at peace with our grief. Please take extra good care of yourself, my friend.

    I don't remember healthy times in my life. My grandpa, who I adored, had a fatal heart attack in front of a drug store, when I was 9. When I was 10, my mother had ovarian cancer. She then developed diabetes, and later she had lupus. I had rheumatic fever, when I was 13. My grandma had breast cancer, when I was 15. At 18, I had psoriasis from head to toe.

    And of course, my boys were diagnosed in infancy with their mysterious condition.

    I think the prevalence of cancer among our friends correlates to our age. The chickens are coming home to roost.

    In California, we were all exposed to asbestos and lead in our schools. The smog was horrible, when we were kids. Toxic waste sites were in our proximity, without our knowledge. We grew up around oil fields, so who knows what leached into our groundwater? Our food was packed with preservatives.

    Of course, we had to be tan! So we slathered baby oil on our skin and baked in the sun 'til we were crispy. And, everybody smoked! We watch old movies on TMC now. EVERYBODY SMOKED! AND DRANK!

    I used to receive email forwards extolling "the good old days" and how we all turned out okay. Well, we didn't. We're dying from cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, drugs for RA/PA and other autoimmune diseases. And we all have some kind of an autoimmune disease. Is it just that the DNA is deteriorating, or is it a lifetime on the planet that is finally getting to us?

    In my circle of 6 California long-term girlfriends, including my uncle's first wife, only 2 years older than me: my aunt died of lung/liver cancer in April; one friend had breast cancer, with a recurrence; one friend is in remission from uterine and stomach cancer; one friend had urethral cancer from RA drugs; one friend has squamous cell on her shin; the other has melanoma on her cheek. That's right, all 6 of my friends have or had cancer.

    Our godchildren's mom texted me today, that her daughter-in-law's father, G, passed last night at 11:30. His daughter and husband agreed to remove life support. He had had 2 surgeries prior to the intestinal surgeries. His heart and kidneys were failing. He had put up a valiant fight for several years. A veteran, whose life had been very difficult, who struggled through everything, he finally had to surrender.

    Our goddaughter (in law) lost her mother to breast cancer, when she was only 10. She's 26 now. So very young to be parent-less. They don't have grandparents, so we fill that role (since their births).

    I told Jim last night that G was very ill and failing. Jim felt so bad for G, knowing well all that he'd gone through. As we talked, Jim observed that his path is different, in that he's vegetarian. We think this is so important in fighting cancer, because red meat is hard to digest and full of hormones, even if they aren't given to the cows. And most heart patients are advised to become vegans these days.

    Jim is also taking CBD and THC, which his oncologist believes is working for him. G wasn't taking them.

    Jim is receiving care at a state of the art, highly rated hospital, which is treating hundreds of patients. The success rate, based upon Jim's experience talking to other cancer patients, is very good.

    All this is true, and we cling to it. But, I had to ask Jim the hardest question: "If you were in G's situation, what would you want?"

    "Unplug me. No. I can't do that to you and Jon, put you through all of that, when it's clear that I'm at the end. I'll know it. You'll know it. I probably wouldn't even want the surgeries. Why go through all of that, when the odds are so stacked against me? I don't want you to suffer."

    He doesn't want me to suffer. Not worried about his suffering. Only mine.

    After Jim's nap today, I told him that G had passed last night. "God Bless Him. He's free now. He had a very hard life. And he fought like a soldier against cancer. He's free now. I'm happy for him."

    We are confident that Bliss is on the Other Side. Sorrow is the sister of Bliss, and it is what we endure on this side. While we rejoice for our loved ones, we mourn for our loss. It's their gain, but it is our loss. And it is painful, because as long as we are Earth-bound, we relate in the physical realm.

    At Michael's bedside, after he passed, our wonderful hospital chaplain told Jim and me that we now must perfect our relationship with Michael on the spiritual level. Leave the earthly desires behind and focus on our spiritual relationship. For 15 years, we have followed her guidance, and we know Michael is always with us.

    I know you will feel your mom's presence surrounding you, Donna. And her presence will bring serenity and peace on your journey.

    We send our love and prayers for healing and strength,

    Love & Light,



    Rose & The Guys
    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

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  11. #636
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels View Post
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    ((((((Donna)))))) ~

    Even when a loved one's passing is expected, it's still a shock. Time is the only true healing balm. In some ways, we don't actually stop grieving. We just learn to be at peace with our grief. Please take extra good care of yourself, my friend.

    I don't remember healthy times in my life. My grandpa, who I adored, had a fatal heart attack in front of a drug store, when I was 9. When I was 10, my mother had ovarian cancer. She then developed diabetes, and later she had lupus. I had rheumatic fever, when I was 13. My grandma had breast cancer, when I was 15. At 18, I had psoriasis from head to toe.

    And of course, my boys were diagnosed in infancy with their mysterious condition.

    I think the prevalence of cancer among our friends correlates to our age. The chickens are coming home to roost.

    In California, we were all exposed to asbestos and lead in our schools. The smog was horrible, when we were kids. Toxic waste sites were in our proximity, without our knowledge. We grew up around oil fields, so who knows what leached into our groundwater? Our food was packed with preservatives.

    Of course, we had to be tan! So we slathered baby oil on our skin and baked in the sun 'til we were crispy. And, everybody smoked! We watch old movies on TMC now. EVERYBODY SMOKED! AND DRANK!

    I used to receive email forwards extolling "the good old days" and how we all turned out okay. Well, we didn't. We're dying from cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, drugs for RA/PA and other autoimmune diseases. And we all have some kind of an autoimmune disease. Is it just that the DNA is deteriorating, or is it a lifetime on the planet that is finally getting to us?

    In my circle of 6 California long-term girlfriends, including my uncle's first wife, only 2 years older than me: my aunt died of lung/liver cancer in April; one friend had breast cancer, with a recurrence; one friend is in remission from uterine and stomach cancer; one friend had urethral cancer from RA drugs; one friend has squamous cell on her shin; the other has melanoma on her cheek. That's right, all 6 of my friends have or had cancer.

    Our godchildren's mom texted me today, that her daughter-in-law's father, G, passed last night at 11:30. His daughter and husband agreed to remove life support. He had had 2 surgeries prior to the intestinal surgeries. His heart and kidneys were failing. He had put up a valiant fight for several years. A veteran, whose life had been very difficult, who struggled through everything, he finally had to surrender.

    Our goddaughter (in law) lost her mother to breast cancer, when she was only 10. She's 26 now. So very young to be parent-less. They don't have grandparents, so we fill that role (since their births).

    I told Jim last night that G was very ill and failing. Jim felt so bad for G, knowing well all that he'd gone through. As we talked, Jim observed that his path is different, in that he's vegetarian. We think this is so important in fighting cancer, because red meat is hard to digest and full of hormones, even if they aren't given to the cows. And most heart patients are advised to become vegans these days.

    Jim is also taking CBD and THC, which his oncologist believes is working for him. G wasn't taking them.

    Jim is receiving care at a state of the art, highly rated hospital, which is treating hundreds of patients. The success rate, based upon Jim's experience talking to other cancer patients, is very good.

    All this is true, and we cling to it. But, I had to ask Jim the hardest question: "If you were in G's situation, what would you want?"

    "Unplug me. No. I can't do that to you and Jon, put you through all of that, when it's clear that I'm at the end. I'll know it. You'll know it. I probably wouldn't even want the surgeries. Why go through all of that, when the odds are so stacked against me? I don't want you to suffer."

    He doesn't want me to suffer. Not worried about his suffering. Only mine.

    After Jim's nap today, I told him that G had passed last night. "God Bless Him. He's free now. He had a very hard life. And he fought like a soldier against cancer. He's free now. I'm happy for him."

    We are confident that Bliss is on the Other Side. Sorrow is the sister of Bliss, and it is what we endure on this side. While we rejoice for our loved ones, we mourn for our loss. It's their gain, but it is our loss. And it is painful, because as long as we are Earth-bound, we relate in the physical realm.

    At Michael's bedside, after he passed, our wonderful hospital chaplain told Jim and me that we now must perfect our relationship with Michael on the spiritual level. Leave the earthly desires behind and focus on our spiritual relationship. For 15 years, we have followed her guidance, and we know Michael is always with us.

    I know you will feel your mom's presence surrounding you, Donna. And her presence will bring serenity and peace on your journey.

    We send our love and prayers for healing and strength,

    Love & Light,



    Rose & The Guys
    Rose, I'm so sorry that G passed! And I'm so sorry you had to deal with so much illness in your family and friends! I can understand where Jim is coming from. He knows Jon needs 24 hr care to begin with and my guess is that he would rather you put your energy into making sure Jon lives well. My family is very healthy, no diabetes, strokes etc so I was thrown for more of a loop when it happened to others in my life and when I thought I might have a heart problem. In a way being around illness makes other illnesses less of a shock for me personally. Red meat is probably one of the worst things we can eat.
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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  13. #637
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donna Thomson View Post
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    Ohhhh no. Cancer boom, for sure. I am so sorry about what your godson and goddaughter and their family is going through. It sounds horrendous. And your dear friends on top of everything. It's weird how when someone close to us gets a disease or one of our children is diagnosed with a disability, then all of a sudden it seems to be everywhere. I wonder why that is. Do you remember life before cancer and disability, Rose? Are the memories of carefree perfect health still vivid? My memories of that time are fading. I was 18 when my Dad his first stroke and I was 20 when he passed away in 1975. My Dad's first stroke was when my life changed entirely. It's a long time ago now. Of course I have had so many happy memories in the meantime since then, but they are all with some kind of health challenges in my family. Funny old life. I'm so sorry about your loved ones' cancers. I send love and prayers. xoxo Donna
    Hi Donna, Yes I noticed pretty much everyone I meet now either has diabetes or stroke or both. I read about your dad in your blog posts here and again I'm so very sorry he passed away from his strokes. :'(
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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  15. #638
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    ((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

    funnylegs4 ~

    I'm so glad that you are healthy and your family is healthy. Not many people can affirm that, so it's a true blessing for all of you.

    Yes, you are so right that Jon is Jim's first concern. Jim is also very concerned about me wearing out. He tries so hard everyday to relieve me of responsibilities, and he wants so much to be active again. This weekend fatigue set in, and he's been napping a lot. It catches up to him.

    Jim has told me many times that he isn't afraid of dying. He's afraid of how he will die, because that is unknown. Most of all, he is afraid of leaving Jon and me. He knows how much we will grieve for him, and he fears that I will be unable to continue caring for Jon. But, I will have to persevere for Jon, because losing Jim ~ devastation for Jon.

    So, while we're all still here, we are LIVING. We are finding our joy and bliss together, for we know that Sister Sorrow is just around the corner. I've spent my entire adult life pre-grieving for my children, as the predictions for their demise from doctors were offered to me. "He won't make it to (fill in the age)."

    As soon as we knew Jim's diagnosis, and even before, because I suspected cancer, I began grieving. It's a delicate balance between that and finding joy and bliss, but that is my goal every day. For every tear I shed, I try to find laughter.

    As for G's passing, I'm very concerned that he had a DNR, and the doctors proceeded with radical GI surgeries and intubation. That should be unlawful.

    Because it is a holiday weekend, his daughter will have to wait until tomorrow to make arrangements. He will probably be cremated, and his ashes will be spread at one of the lakes, where he loved to fish. G had so little peace in his Earthly life, so I pray that he is at peace now.

    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying. The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun, The higher he's a-getting, The sooner will his race be run, And nearer he's to setting. Robert Herrick, 1591 - 1674.

    Thank you all for your love, prayers, support, guidance, advice and friendship. You are in our prayers.

    Love & Light,



    Rose
    Mom to Jon, 49, and Michael, 32, who were born with an undiagnosed progressive neuromuscular disease and courageous spirits. Our Angel Michael received his wings in 2003. Our Angel Jon received his wings April 2019. April 2020, Jim, the world's most wonderful Dad, joined them. Now, they all watch over me.

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  17. #639
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    Rose - I am so sorry about your loss of G, Not real sure where he fits' into the picture but sounds like he was a brave Man., My condolences. Sorry to hear about Jim, Cancer is no joke and with it spreading, it is horrible that they subject you to so much misery , knowing that the drugs will not help, except to get you into another study. I also get ticked off when the doctors do not/will not realize that WE (Family,Friends, etc. have done a lot of research into our loved ones conditions, and know a lot about what we are dealing with and they treat you like you know NOTHING. that is ÖÖ Anyway the best of luck and hope that the doc's find something that will work. You know you are always in my prayers, you Your family and friends. - Bless all of you.
    Me, well I just got a diagnosis that I am diabetic, no surprise there, my Mom was a severe case - I got the news by e-mail, granted, she did try to call, but the diagnosis and then NO Follow up except to get into class, there are none at present - Yeah , I can thank the VA for a lot. Anyway, trying to stay upbeat, just another challenge> I was and still am a survivor - As Spirit said " the lord helps those who help themselves. I truly admire the lengths you goto for your family. God bless all of ya'll

    Alex44
    (AKA Steve- Skypilot.)

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  19. #640
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    Thank you Rose. I don't know squat about DNRs except one of my really, really old relatives had one and luckily it was respected and luckily she was also allowed water and oxygen(via nose) for comfort etc. I have heard stories where people with DNR were not given proper care in the sense that they were not as carefully monitored and were sometimes denied hydration and oxygen when they requested it which is horrifying.

    Alex44, so sorry you are a diabetic and its disgusting you can't find a diabetes care class! Can you contact diabetes related ORGs for help?
    Mild Spastic Diplegia Cerebral Palsy and bad proprioception.
    My website for my original short films! http://cripvideoproductions.com/astrokeofendurance.php

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