((((((Donna)))))) ~
Even when a loved one's passing is expected, it's still a shock. Time is the only true healing balm. In some ways, we don't actually stop grieving. We just learn to be at peace with our grief. Please take extra good care of yourself, my friend.
I don't remember healthy times in my life. My grandpa, who I adored, had a fatal heart attack in front of a drug store, when I was 9. When I was 10, my mother had ovarian cancer. She then developed diabetes, and later she had lupus. I had rheumatic fever, when I was 13. My grandma had breast cancer, when I was 15. At 18, I had psoriasis from head to toe.
And of course, my boys were diagnosed in infancy with their mysterious condition.
I think the prevalence of cancer among our friends correlates to our age. The chickens are coming home to roost.
In California, we were all exposed to asbestos and lead in our schools. The smog was horrible, when we were kids. Toxic waste sites were in our proximity, without our knowledge. We grew up around oil fields, so who knows what leached into our groundwater? Our food was packed with preservatives.
Of course, we had to be tan! So we slathered baby oil on our skin and baked in the sun 'til we were crispy. And, everybody smoked! We watch old movies on TMC now. EVERYBODY SMOKED! AND DRANK!
I used to receive email forwards extolling "the good old days" and how we all turned out okay. Well, we didn't. We're dying from cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, drugs for RA/PA and other autoimmune diseases. And we all have some kind of an autoimmune disease. Is it just that the DNA is deteriorating, or is it a lifetime on the planet that is finally getting to us?
In my circle of 6 California long-term girlfriends, including my uncle's first wife, only 2 years older than me: my aunt died of lung/liver cancer in April; one friend had breast cancer, with a recurrence; one friend is in remission from uterine and stomach cancer; one friend had urethral cancer from RA drugs; one friend has squamous cell on her shin; the other has melanoma on her cheek. That's right, all 6 of my friends have or had cancer.
Our godchildren's mom texted me today, that her daughter-in-law's father, G, passed last night at 11:30. His daughter and husband agreed to remove life support. He had had 2 surgeries prior to the intestinal surgeries. His heart and kidneys were failing. He had put up a valiant fight for several years. A veteran, whose life had been very difficult, who struggled through everything, he finally had to surrender.
Our goddaughter (in law) lost her mother to breast cancer, when she was only 10. She's 26 now. So very young to be parent-less. They don't have grandparents, so we fill that role (since their births).
I told Jim last night that G was very ill and failing. Jim felt so bad for G, knowing well all that he'd gone through. As we talked, Jim observed that his path is different, in that he's vegetarian. We think this is so important in fighting cancer, because red meat is hard to digest and full of hormones, even if they aren't given to the cows. And most heart patients are advised to become vegans these days.
Jim is also taking CBD and THC, which his oncologist believes is working for him. G wasn't taking them.
Jim is receiving care at a state of the art, highly rated hospital, which is treating hundreds of patients. The success rate, based upon Jim's experience talking to other cancer patients, is very good.
All this is true, and we cling to it. But, I had to ask Jim the hardest question: "If you were in G's situation, what would you want?"
"Unplug me. No. I can't do that to you and Jon, put you through all of that, when it's clear that I'm at the end. I'll know it. You'll know it. I probably wouldn't even want the surgeries. Why go through all of that, when the odds are so stacked against me? I don't want you to suffer."
He doesn't want me to suffer. Not worried about his suffering. Only mine.
After Jim's nap today, I told him that G had passed last night. "God Bless Him. He's free now. He had a very hard life. And he fought like a soldier against cancer. He's free now. I'm happy for him."
We are confident that Bliss is on the Other Side. Sorrow is the sister of Bliss, and it is what we endure on this side. While we rejoice for our loved ones, we mourn for our loss. It's their gain, but it is our loss. And it is painful, because as long as we are Earth-bound, we relate in the physical realm.
At Michael's bedside, after he passed, our wonderful hospital chaplain told Jim and me that we now must perfect our relationship with Michael on the spiritual level. Leave the earthly desires behind and focus on our spiritual relationship. For 15 years, we have followed her guidance, and we know Michael is always with us.
I know you will feel your mom's presence surrounding you, Donna. And her presence will bring serenity and peace on your journey.
We send our love and prayers for healing and strength,
Love & Light,
Rose & The Guys
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Originally Posted by Earth Mother 2 Angels
