It sucks that the patient has to fail at chemo first. My father died of lung cancer 17 years ago, 4 weeks after I had Jonathan. I was dealing with a very sick newborn and on top of that a dying parent. I had to fly home with my 3 children to say goodbye and it was simply awful. Immunotherapy was not around when my father had his chemo and radiation. The doctors were not upfront with him and how advance the cancer was once he was diagnosed. The chemo shortened his life considerably but he did pass peacefully without a tremendous amount of pain. If he knew that the chemo wasn't going to help I believe that he would have made different choices. He was 62 years old when he died.
My father's family has a very strong genetic link to cancer. I have lost multiple members of my family to cancer. My uncle was just diagnosed and his daughter just went through chemo for stage 4 colon cancer and she is only 52 years old. Out of my fathers siblings 4 out of 5 have had some form of cancer. I hate it!
I'm sorry that you have to go through this with Jim. I hope that the doctors can work with the both of you to find the best course of treatment for Jim to make him more comfortable and have a quality of life that works for him. You are his best advocate. Don't forget to take care of you in this battle. Unfortunately cancer is a horrible disease but I pray for You, Jim, and Jon for peace and answers that work for your family.
Continued prayers and blessings going up for all of you.