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Thread: 12 things not to say to someone with a chronic illness

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    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Default 12 things not to say to someone with a chronic illness

    People's comments about MS can be mightily annoying if you're the person who has just revealed that you have MS. This article lists 12 comments that are particularly unwelcome to a person with a chronic illness:

    http://www.healthline.com/health-new...o-say-022814#1
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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    Distinguished Community Member jendie's Avatar
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    Recently, my cousin suggested I go on Medifast. It would supposedly help me lose weight and help control the MS.

    I admit I'm about 20 lbs overweight, but...

    Jendie
    I've been a member of this forum during its different incarnations since I was dx in 9/98


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    Distinguished Community Member BBS1951's Avatar
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    Those do and donts are pretty interesting.

    My pet peeve is friends who tell me how to solve the problems of daily living. But I know it comes from a caring place in their heart. Really though, I am not an idiot who cannot figure these things out. I just smile and say thank you.

    I have an advantage though. I do not look sick. I am incredibly fit and look like an athlete. So, I don't get those comments about weight, exercise, etc. ....

    People tell me I am a inspiration. While it's meant to be a compliment, for some reason I don't like that. I just smile.

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    I dont understand why "I'm sorry" is an issue? I'm sorry I have to deal with this myself. To me, it's an expression of empathy, or at least sympathy, and really not a problem.

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    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uppitycats View Post
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    I dont understand why "I'm sorry" is an issue? I'm sorry I have to deal with this myself. To me, it's an expression of empathy, or at least sympathy, and really not a problem.
    Yes, that didn't seem like an issue to me either. I haven't minded when that was said to me. After all, I myself was very sorry when I started falling apart and then found out it was MS.
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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    Distinguished Community Member Pegakafarmgirl's Avatar
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    Or the people who think because you have MS, you are hard of hearing, and yell ,BBS ,, I was a PE teacher, in my formal life,, taught aerobics,, then MS changed everything,,I guess you deal the hand, that's given to you.

    oh and my own mother told me I was faking it for attention
    " Don't outsmart your common sense"

    Peg

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    Distinguished Community Member Frog42's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pegakafarmgirl View Post
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    Or the people who think because you have MS, you are hard of hearing
    Or the ones who think walking with a cane means you're mentally defective and direct their questions to anyone who is with you.


    Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. -- Miguel Ruiz

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    Distinguished Community Member Lazarus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BBS1951 View Post
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    Those do and donts are pretty interesting.

    My pet peeve is friends who tell me how to solve the problems of daily living. But I know it comes from a caring place in their heart. Really though, I am not an idiot who cannot figure these things out. I just smile and say thank you.

    I have an advantage though. I do not look sick. I am incredibly fit and look like an athlete. So, I don't get those comments about weight, exercise, etc. ....

    People tell me I am a inspiration. While it's meant to be a compliment, for some reason I don't like that. I just smile.
    That is exactly what happens to me. I look really fit. A couple of years ago I started having spasms in my esophagus and lost a ton of weight. People were always telling me how "good" I was to have dieted. It was so frustrating as my MS was in a very progressive stage and I could hardly catch my breath due to the spasms. I wanted to acknowledge their concern but realized it was was rude on their part. But no response I could think of was satisfying.

    The only thing I got out of situations like this was to be more considerate of others because I am aware what it is that annoys me. I try not to comment on anyone's looks but if weight loss comes up I will ask if the loss was on purpose. People really appreciate that.
    Last edited by Lazarus; 01-13-2017 at 11:26 AM.
    Linda~~~~

    Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says:"Oh Crap, She's up!"

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    Distinguished Community Member Howie's Avatar
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    Angry

    Vicky, that one would make me a little....angry. They would have the imprint of my shoe on their backside.
    "Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon."

    Frank Zappa

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    Distinguished Community Member Frog42's Avatar
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    I wish, Howie. I went to the bank to deposit a check with only MY name on it and the woman addressed Lenny and ignored me.

    I should have written to the bank president. Too late now.


    Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. -- Miguel Ruiz

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