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Thread: (OT) Proposed revised English spelling

  1. #1
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Default (OT) Proposed revised English spelling

    A friend sent this "FYI" by e-mail, and i'm passing it along for anyone who finds English spelling to be a problem.... (It's a joke. This isn't really happening.)

    After the UK leaves EU - The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will not be the official language of the European Union anymore - it will be German, which was the other possibility.


    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

    And Congratulations: you have learnt German within minutes.
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.


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    Distinguished Community Member Frog42's Avatar
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    I already know German und ich muss sagen this brings me much schadenfreude!


    Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. -- Miguel Ruiz

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    Distinguished Community Member Howie's Avatar
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    An Iz jus larned ta tawlk gud!

    That is just made up. Too many folks on the planet speak English just like it is.
    Roswell was a gift.

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    So funny - I should have had that advantage when I was living there.
    Virginia

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    Distinguished Community Member Pegakafarmgirl's Avatar
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    all of a sudden, I am in the mood for brats and beer,,

    I speak Spanish.. and some German,,
    " Don't outsmart your common sense"

    Peg

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    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pegakafarmgirl View Post
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    all of a sudden, I am in the mood for brats and beer,,

    I speak Spanish.. and some German,,
    Don't forget the apple strudel!
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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    Distinguished Community Member Pegakafarmgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by agate View Post
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    Don't forget the apple strudel!

    oh yeah,., and german chocolate cake,,lol
    " Don't outsmart your common sense"

    Peg

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    How can you forget sauerkraut?!

    Seriously though, there is a German organization which oversees the German language and its spelling. Several years back (15?) they changed the spelling of several words, including replacing the letter which is transcribed as "ss" in English. And now "Frau" is used as a title for both married and unmarried females no matter how young.

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  16. #9
    Distinguished Community Member agate's Avatar
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    So no more Fräuleins?

    That makes sense to me since Frau means woman as well as wife. In English we don't have a word exactly like that. So we're muddling around with Miss and Ms. and Mrs. and ....

    I omit the Miss/Ms./Mrs. title usually when I address an envelope. That way I avoid the whole issue. I just address it to Jane Doe. If Jane Doe has a problem with that, maybe she'll let me know.

    We can't call every woman Mrs., and we can't call them all Miss. We can call them Ms. but it hasn't really caught on, or has it?

    One problem is that it doesn't seem very pronounceable.

    If it were written Miz, it would be like the southern Miz. I recall that being used for all women, married or single or divorced. Using Miz got you out of the bind you were in if you didn't know whether a woman was married or single when you introduced her.

    Do people who are introducing someone as Ms. pronounce it Miz? Why not spell it Miz then?

    Another problem with Ms. is it looks a lot like MS. You know, the disorder some people have.
    MS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2002-2005. Copaxone 6/07 - 5/10.
    Member of this MS board since 2001.

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    As you probably know Fraeulein was mispronounced by American soldiers. The mispronunciation became a reference to whore/prostitute. This avoids that problem. So I don't know if that was the reason or the marriage designation (men are Mr, married or not)

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