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Thread: Mother has Alzheimer's

  1. #1

    Default Mother has Alzheimer's

    Hi, My mother has Alzheimer's and is living with me. I am about to move to a different country on deputation. Now I am looking for an assisted care facility for her, while I am away. My question is what are the things I should be checking for when I am at the facility? What are the questions to ask them before confirming the place. I want to be absolutely sure, as I wont be able to check on her in person once I am gone (6 months). Thanks in advance!
    Last edited by Moderator #7; 08-13-2015 at 09:28 PM. Reason: Welcome to BT! Sorry, you can't post links until your 11th post.

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    Jo6

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    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    Welcome to BrainTalk. There are many post here and also you can find much in the Archives. We have had quiet a few parents pass away recently. We all have our stories to tell, some good, but far too many bad. Many of us will be glad to answer questions if possible.

    If you have specific questions just ask. Someone will be around sonner or later. I understand you are on a time line and that does make it hard. I will try to get in touch with several that have been thru the end of the road and maybe we can bind together and help out as best we can.

    No matter what questions you ask from a Nursing Home you can not always take their word as the gospel. That is too bad, but it is a sorry state we live in no matter what they say. We have Gov. rules, but all too often we hear from them after the fact.

    If you don't mind could you tell us what stage your Mom is in? Sometimes that will help in choosing, but not always.

    I don't want to sound so negative, there are good things to look for. I will try to get in touch with some that I know and hope and pray we can help you find a happy home away from home.

    Take care and read several other forums. The Emotional Support Forum is a good place to read and it does have much about Alzheimer's Disease in it.

    I'll be looking for your post. Julia
    Last edited by Jo6; 08-14-2015 at 07:38 AM.
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

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    Distinguished Community Member tic chick's Avatar
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    hey patricia! and welcome to bt !

    i don't know the state the assisted living facility is that you are putting your mom in. there are big differences in nursing homes and assisted living facilities, depending how they are regulated in the state they are in. usually assisted living facilities do not have doctors on staff. they are like hotels to put alzheimer's patients in. if your mom has no other major medical probs, she might do well in an assisted living center, but you'd probably have to pay for her care out of your pocket. if you choose an assisted care facility, i would have your mom's primary care physician check in on her at least every 3 weeks. having had a loved one in an assisted care facility in michigan, i can tell you the staffing is lower, almost non-existent on weekends, patients have to know how to get to the dining room and activities. usually they have only rn's around based on the nursing home population at that time. rn's deliver the most difficult care and give out narcotics. the rest of the staff will prolly be certified nursing assistants.

    nursing homes are more skilled care facilities. if your mom has a major health care problem besides alzheimers, this might be a better option for you. you will be asked to pick a doctor's group for your mom to belong to. depending on the doctor, most come to the nursing home very early in the morning about 2 days a week. i would talk to the director of nursing and the director of the nursing home together. you should tell them your mom's abilities and her problems. ask to see their book of violations. if they say they don't have one or they don't have any violations, run away. all nursing homes receive violations from major to minor things. it's up to you to find out what violations the facility has and if they are minor or major. violations i would watch out for are sexual abuses, lack of sufficient staff causing harm, too many "accidents" happening to patients and medication errors!

    i know no facility is perfect. some states have a rating system for their nursing homes. you can google the state's facilities where you want to place your mom and see how they are rated. you can even find out if they have any serious violations. i would strongly urge you to consider a nursing home over an assisted living center because of more experienced and higher staffing rates. if your mom should get sick, it would be better if she were in a nursing home.

    if you have any other questions, please post them! this is a thoughtful decision you must make. i'm happy that you are able to take care of your mom at home when you are there, but if you need to go away, you would want your mom to have as good care as possible.

    once again, welcome to braintalk!
    jeannie
    Last edited by tic chick; 08-14-2015 at 11:46 AM.
    Here's to good women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
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    Jo6

  6. #4

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    The advice already given is very good. You should check on the reputation of the facility you are considering such as seeing if there are any Department of Health violations. Maybe your mother's physician can recommend a good place? Also make sure the facility deals with patients that have Alzheimer's and offers activities geared toward someone with memory issues. Best of luck to you.

  7. #5

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    You might also consider contacting an Elder Law attorney who specializes in estate planning as they typically deal with families who need to place someone into a long term care facility. They might know what questions to ask, or what facilities to avoid. They also might be able to refer you to people that can assist you. You could also speak to a religious advisor. They often visit patients at long term care facilities and might know which ones are better. Some facilities have a religious affiliation if this is important to you or your mom. You could try AARP to see if they list questions to ask or tips on how to place someone in a long term care facility. There are also patient advocates, some of whom are nurses, who can help you find a placement and also help families who aren't nearby their loved one. This might be someone good to have locally to be a contact while you are out of town and who can check on your mother.

  8. #6
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    Contacting an Elder Law attorney is a very good idea. This would be good for many things. We used one when we were helping my mom take care of some business when she was still alive. He was very good to her, explained everything in detail to her. He was HER lawyer and when all said and done it turned out to be the best thing she could have done.

    Of course she may need more help from you with what you are talking about. Couldn't hurt to try. Good luck, Julia
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

  9. #7

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    Thanks for sharing.

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    Welcome kimshay.

    See you around the forum,
    ANN
    There comes a time when silence is betrayal.- MLK

  12. #9
    Distinguished Community Member Jo6's Avatar
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    Its good to see those posting in the Alzheimer's Forum. My MIL has passed on but the sorry still lingers on. I'm hoping many more will join us here and help us get a good forum going again. May each one feel a special blessing as we go along.

    All my love, Jo6
    Did you ever know that you're my hero and every thing I would like to be I can fly higher than an eagle
    'cause you are the wind beneath my wings

    for my brother Ben

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