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came yesterday morning and spent the day with me, got him outta the house. He didn't rant and rave about Jen so he wasn't too annoying lol. God I love that kid and he is hurting so bad, he is trying so hard. She is playing him, trying to push him to do better. Actually she is playing the guy she is seeing, he got her that house and she is trying to fix it up so the kids can move in. She is hesitant to take them because she hasn't truly made up her mind. This new guy is showing his ass and she is not liking it. I call him Ted Bundy, lives with his parents, is a Weekend Warrior about to be shipped out, never had a girlfriend and is a virgin. okay not ted bundy but I know what I mean.

Going to mow some of the lawn today. Get some yard work done. Still working out a little bit here and there. Trying to make sure I get some music/dance therapy at some point in the day.

I have my first foster fail, looks like chunk is our new family member. He is so sweet, I am ambivalent about it. We decided yesterday morning and then I got an email from someone looking to adopt. Great timing lol. Next we want to foster a dog, I am really considering looking into hospice fostering. there isn't one near me just up by Traverse City. I truly want to put up a fence. I am thinking of buying here and there as I can. I can use my Menards card. It is not that much. Well it is a lot to me but if I was financially stable I could order it outright. Have it installed before it starts snowing. Least I can do is shoot for spring, maybe collect what I need over the winter. I need 5'x100' hogwire, about 12 6' Tposts, 6 8' 4x4s, I am pretty sure I can get that from craigslist and fb marketplace.

thinking this morning that God is good. If I would learn to relax and let him drive I would truly be more stress free and anxiety ridden. Yesterday they shut off my cable and internet for late payment, poor woman I started crying on the phone, Jared's schooling is online. She said I had to make a $49 payment to get it on, she was so nice and was comforting me. I told her I would have to call back and make my payment after I checked my accounts. She restored my service immediately before I even finished checking my banks. I am sure she could have gotten in trouble for that so I am grateful for her kindness. Usually I make a payment I have to call them back and let them know then wait for a damn half hour for them to turn it back on. So I used every dollar I have off of three different cards causing me to be seriously broke, then while I was going through my magic purse I found a $20 bill. Good. Then last night I checked my email and there was a child support payment made. Odd and the timing was weird but hey I am grateful, not much but enough to make me feel safe. No pilfering on fast food or any thing like that. God is good. Always has my back. Maybe I should change my meditations into spiritual meditation, connect with God. How would I do that? Google know all.

Reading a great book called The Fireman by Joe Hill who is actually Stephen King's son. I see a lot of his father's style in his writing. It is so far about a plague that is spread by ash that causes people to spontaneous combust. Their ash protects and spreads the bacteria and it causes beautiful black flecked with gold designs on the skin. A group that the main character has found has figured out how to embrace their 'infection' and control it through an almost spiritual means. The bacteria triggers oxytocin in the body which can affect the mind in an addictive manner and cause groups to feed off of each other. Anyway I love it. It is a big book and I am almost through it.

I have been feeling pretty good these days despite the fact that the back of my brain is constantly going. I can tell my vitamins and stuff have kicked in. My knees are tolerating the exercise better since I started taking the Glucosamine, and my nails are growing and getting stronger. It has taken like two years for them to recover from my painting them.

CJ has my car until tomorrow night, have appts on Thursday. I signed Jared and I up for a fall harvest celebration at For Mar Nature Preserve, I can't wait to see their tree house, the guy that does the treehouse show on cable came to Michigan to build it for them. I watched that episode. I had no idea until I saw it. It was only $2 per person so I paid right online right then and there. It was cheap, will get me and the kid out of the house, outside in the fresh air. They have a lot of stuff going on so it will be fun.

Well I think I've got it down. feeling alright these days. Still taking my afternoon nap. Still cooking dinner. My kitchen is a mess but it could be worse. Still purging a little every day. three boxes and a bag


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