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hanging in here

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getting over the worst of the withdrawals, feeling better. meds, vits, upper back exercises, bed made, load of laundry in and it's still early lol. Need to make some phone calls today and get some appts. rescheduled. Load the dishwasher. Would like to get out and weed whack a bit. Getting a migraine and my body hurts since I have been without the nortriptyline. Will take something, maybe eat something.

Saw my therapist finally yesterday afternoon. Sat and cried about how miserable I was, they had a questionnaire for me to fill out about how I was feeling. Like 8 questions about how depressed or not I was. She hasn't seen me in so long there was a lot of catching up to do. I told her I had been blogging for myself and about all I wanted to do and what I wanted to change and that I had planned to quit smoking and that is what she focused on and told me to focus on it. It is a huge thing. I guess. One thing at a time but I want what I want now. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and just do everything differently. I want that life now, I ache for it. My own mind and body get in my way. The trick is to get around all that or bust right through, master that, they are mine, I am not theirs. I rule them. They are mine and I have the ability to change them.

So for now I will concentrate on setting my mind for quitting smoking, do my quit journal and other paperwork, keep up my morning routine. Get my doc appts all caught up. May have to go to walk in appt because I can't wait a week to refill my scripts I am running out of other things. I will figure something out I always do. Okay the cardio scripts are being filled now we wait and see if my primary office will respond to all the messages I left. They are about useless. State run clinics suck. The red tape is ridiculous. Things are getting worse.

I waited too long to check out of this post. I have a screaming migraine and I hurt all over, getting bad had to reschedule j's appt to next week. Gont to take one of my coveted pain pills.

Updated 09-18-2018 at 02:40 PM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


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