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houghchrst

Holiday weekend Sunday

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It's a bit after six, I don't mind getting up about this time, I feel like it is time I have to myself but in reality even with Jared here I pretty much have all day to myself lol.

Yesterday not too bad emotionally. CJ got me out of the house for an errand and for me to get my meds and a couple other things I needed to pick up. I really wish he would understand that his humor is cutting instead of humorous. It is always at someone else's expense. Kind of hard to be thinking, 'I can't stand you', alongside 'thank you for helping'. Honestly it's not that I cant stand him I am just sick of his sense of humor. That is what I can't stand. Car needs a new starter so I will be without a car for at least another week or two. I may go insane.

The worst of my withdrawals have passed. I am feeling much better only this morning we start the Furosemide back up. Let's see how I deal with that. Hopefully it is smooth sailing.

Yesterday I got my routine done but remembered when I got to bed that I had forgotten to brush my teeth, damn. I got the load of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, took care of the wonderful furbabies checked in with the rescue groups. Then I went and laid down, fell right to sleep, woke up past dinner time though I did make us a late dinner.

Today we are hosting immediate family cook out. Guess I will invite my brother, he is usually down for a cook out. 1 of 3 anyway. Hopefully the rain stops this afternoon so the kids can go out. I haven't said anything but I might make some tater salad.

We are not going to my friends house for the cookout, a little bummed. Jared was actually looking forward to it, shock me.

I don't know why I have gotten nothing done this past week. I clean and puter at the same time. I am constantly picking up, moving, putting away stuff so I know it is not like I don't clean, I do I just don't feel like it and I was hoping that by writing what I do get done down then I can at least see it

I feel almost like that doesn't count, it is everyday stuff. It is not enough. Not enough to make me feel satisfied. Make me feel as though I am accomplishing anything. just took a break to let the kitties and mama do their thing, clean their room and feed and fresh water. That is what I am accomplishing at this time. Does that not count? Now that I think on it if somebody asked me what I do I would tell them that I foster. THat makes me feel great. Grasp that! Own it! My chest feels lighter lol. And a smile dang! I can still make my own self laugh, 'tis a good thing.

I almost volunteered to do a two month foster but Jared freaked out when I asked him about it. Little chihuahua needs a foster for about two months while the owner finds a new home. Still have a week left with kittens. He knows it is not his work but he said it still triggers his anxiety. It triggers mine too in a lot of different ways but I am doing it and have jumped in with both feet lol. He wants a break and in all reality I should take one too. I tend to get manic and overload myself. And since I am not fostering for any one group I get to pick the who and what. It never occurred to me that I should look into fostering ferrets too. I have the setup. I will look into ferret rescue groups through FB.

Well it is raining today and I have yet to do the rest of my routine, got up early but I dont feel so bad at 6 a.m. I am going to do it now. Maybe I will check in later.

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