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houghchrst

Not too bad

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Slept in today, that doesn't happen often. Stayed up reading until almost midnight. Went to the bathroom at 8 then climbed back in bed until after 10. Woke and said my gratitude prayer. took my meds and vits. All the critters have been taken care of. I think my withdrawal is abating which means I will have a period adjustment again when I start taking the meds again. That will be today hopefully. I called my cardio and they didn't even question me. Usually my primary takes care of it but the asshats there are lazy and slow. they waited three weeks despite my calls to send me a letter saying I need to come in. Am I repeating myself. Felt quite good at the beginning of the day but after I took a nap on a full belly I woke feeling not so hot. It happens most days. Sandwich and fruit. Maybe I should wait longer to go lay down. Maybe I should try and quit napping, uuhhmm...no. Went to bed early tonight, not feel so hot left Jared on his own for dinner. Besides that I accomplished nothing. Feels like the beginning of the weekend even though it is only Thursday. Brandon and family came and had dinner last night. Was a good time.

the above saved from an 8-30-18 post.

Now I am caught up. I have accomplished nothing over the last two days except the bare minimum. I need to, will load the dishwasher. I am seriously depressed about not having a running car and having to spend the holiday weekend here doing nothing. I want to get a rental but that is money that I could use for the car part. seriously depressed, day almost gone, today I have nothing.

Updated 08-31-2018 at 10:34 AM by houghchrst

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Chris is babbling again.

Comments

  1. agate's Avatar
    Hi Chris,
    I saw a recent post where you mentioned wanting to give up on your blog. I hope you won't give up. I have a blog here though it's really mostly some copied and pasted entries from a books blog I've been maintaining for years. In about 12 years I think maybe two people have looked at it, and the part that is here on this board gets no views either. I haven't made any effort to promote it. I'm not sure I want to deal with a lot of comments, anyway. I keep it going for my own use. It's helpful to look back and find out what I thought about a book I read some years ago. When there aren't many people to talk to, writing can be almost like having a friend--one who isn't going to talk back or give you a lot of criticism. I hope that you'll keep your blog going. I taught English before I became disabled. I saw a lot of writing done by my students, who were adults. You might be surprised by how many people just can't express themselves but writing seems to come easily to you. The space is here for you--why not fill it with whatever you want to say?

    Hope your depression will lift soon.
  2. houghchrst's Avatar
    Thank you Agate, for some reason, I guess embarrassment, if I think too long on it and then self pity comes in and tells me I'm stupid and pathetic, that terrible self talk that depression brings in and I think I am going to stop but I don't think I will. I use to journal when I was getting clean and sober, then while I was in therapy and pregnant, and brief stints here and there. I think all my journals are full.

    Aahh English, one of my favorite classes. Where I learned to love books. I had a high school teacher who read to us for a bit every morning, Mr. Daunt, he was actually the one who got me hooked on horror. He read a horror short story that terrified me for years. I loved it! Grade A student, wrote a lot of College papers. Did a 13 page paper on cannibalism in the modern world. My teach loved it.

    My mother was an avid reader of all kinds of books but the more she drank and became severely depressed she began to read true crime novels which gave her nightmares she said. I prefer my horror to be fiction, I know how bad the world can be.
  3. agate's Avatar
    Hi Chris,
    I've read quite a few true crime stories, not so much horror fiction. I recall one very unsettling story I read in high school, "To Build a Fire" by Jack London. It's not exactly horror--maybe an adventure story. It's about a man in danger of freezing to death--set in Alaska, I think.

    It's so nice when someone says English class was enjoyable. Many of my students pretty much suffered through it because it was required. I did enjoy seeing how they expressed themselves and what they had to say.
  4. funnylegs4's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by houghchrst
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Thank you Agate, for some reason, I guess embarrassment, if I think too long on it and then self pity comes in and tells me I'm stupid and pathetic, that terrible self talk that depression brings in and I think I am going to stop but I don't think I will. I use to journal when I was getting clean and sober, then while I was in therapy and pregnant, and brief stints here and there. I think all my journals are full.

    Aahh English, one of my favorite classes. Where I learned to love books. I had a high school teacher who read to us for a bit every morning, Mr. Daunt, he was actually the one who got me hooked on horror. He read a horror short story that terrified me for years. I loved it! Grade A student, wrote a lot of College papers. Did a 13 page paper on cannibalism in the modern world. My teach loved it.

    My mother was an avid reader of all kinds of books but the more she drank and became severely depressed she began to read true crime novels which gave her nightmares she said. I prefer my horror to be fiction, I know how bad the world can be.
    Please just write here. No need to judge yourself. There is a reason these blogs features exist. I mostly use the blog here to post extra details on my films or nonsense. I loved English class too!


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