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Well from what I can see it is open season on the blogs. Right up there for the whole world, okay, not the whole world, to see. Now I am afraid to write here lol, embarrassed mostly. Though it does make me feel better. Mods do you read these before they are deemed appropriate for posting?

It's been cloudy and rainy here, not too wonderful for my achin' body but much better than the 90s we were getting. Still kind of warm and muggy.

I am hurting today, been on my feet a lot the last two days. Trying to get my house decent looking again. Need a new paint job. Have not brushed me teeth yet lol. Got up early today to check on rescue progress and will take my meds and brush shortly. May need to make a compromise. Get on puter and have coffee while I wake up and brush my teeth when I take my morning meds. That makes it memorable and doable.

I went to the club yesterday, made myself get out of the house. Place just isn't the same since they moved, maybe because I haven't been going as often. Went from twice a week to maybe once a month. I miss it but the gas and coffee just cost more money I don't have.

Money.......the root of my anxiety.

I will call this morning and make an appt with Nan. I am supposed to be going about every two or three weeks but I wind up cancelling.

I would like to keep track of things I have done so that I can see visible progress and I won't feel like such a lazy loser lol.

These are the things I do every morning after I have been up for a bit.

Take care of Jared's mess from night before, pick up and put away here and there. There is always something that is not where it is supposed to be. Clean up my little table in the living room. Feed the animals. Let Dash out. Find at least one thing that needs to be done and do it. That I have written on my inspiration board in the bedroom. One day at a time and do one thing every day. If I think about it, if I really did nothing throughout the day my house would be in a lot worse condition so I can see that I make bits of progress here and there and it gives me a small sense of satisfaction but if I look at the whole picture at one time I become overwhelmed because there is so much.

My kitchen and bathroom are the bane of my existence, I despise cleaning them, the bathroom because it is unfinished and the water is so nasty smelling. The kitchen because I was always made to clean the kitchen after 6 people had eaten a large three course meal. Grounded quite a few times for not doing my job. They are both disgusting and if I was a guest I would not use the bathroom or eat from my kitchen.

Am seriously depressed. Everyday I use that shovel and dig another hole for me to fall into.

Will work on kitchen some more today. Remember to take my vitamins. I will find something else too I am sure.

today I am going to start by brushing my teeth every morning and try to remember at night. That is medium level. I need one big thing that needs doing and start Monday. Maybe making my bed. I wish I could find the video from FB where the man talked about the five or six things that you can do to change your life. I would put the link here so I could watch it for inspiration.

Updated 08-31-2018 at 10:27 AM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


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