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wow my first blog

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So today I have decided that since no one posts on any of the usual forums and everyone is sick of me posting on the ES forum that I would start a blog on the state of my mind, the things I want to do and to finish. Almost a new routine to live by better, healthier, non smoking, food changing, mindfulness, meditation, weight losing, pain reducing, medication reducing. Rhetorical question: do I do it all at once, do I take it one thing at a time? If someone actually reads this any ideas? I will not commit to writing here every day right now because that is one more thing I may fail at but I will come here whenever I feel ready. This is the precursor to a list of some specific things that need to be done that are procrastinating around my house and more that are used to try to build a routine for life change. I almost feel like I should do it all at once, like ripping a band aid off instead of the slow anxious starting of each thing.

I am terrified, of change, of the effort, of the anxiety, of failure, just the thought freezes me but I must break this state of inactivity. I am afraid of the overwhelming effort, the withdrawals both mentally and emotionally. how long do you have to repeat a thing before it becomes habit?

I don't know how it works here, if others can read or if it is private but matters not to me. I just feel better babbling lol.

Purging: I am beginning to feel the need to purge myself of some things that have not been used in a long time, some kids stuff, many knick knacks. Clothes that I wear that nobody should be seen in they are so stained and old. Clothes that no longer fit Jared. Canned goods that I know won't get used. sort of downsizing. I am overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have. Stuff in boxes, knick knacks that I haven't seen in almost 8 years. Stuff I inherited. My lovely sewing room while still has stuff on the walls and many of my beauties has turned into my foster room. Still needs some adjusting but no reason I can't craft and foster in there. two of my favorite things in my favorite room.

I have already started a box of stuff to get rid of but it is huge and overloaded so I am going to spread among smaller boxes. Maybe I should have a yard sale.

This is my first list to get my house cleaned and purged. Not in any order and not in any hurry as this will continually be an ongoing project.

Clean and purge bedroom and get rid of some clothes.
Clean and purge bathroom and bathroom closets.
Jared's room clean, purge and rearrange, reattach closet doors
Clean and purge storage containers in kitchen cabinet.
Wash fridge shelves.
Clean and purge game closet
Dust basement.
Wash all odd sundries, rugs, blankets, pillows.
Clean garage.
Garbage and boxes out of basement.
Clean freezer room of basement.
Go through stuff in basement and purge.
Make a list of life changing things I want to start.

tomorrow morning I will brush my teeth when I get up no matter how I feel and I will do so every morning from then on. Sad state of affairs when you have to remind yourself to brush your teeth every day. Stop not doing it!! Your mouth hurts as it is. Dentist threw his hands up said get a sprayer. Okay got one for Christmas used it once, incorrectly and about fainted from the pain, idiot!

Updated 08-31-2018 at 10:27 AM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


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