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houghchrst

I can feel again

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now that the Trintillex is gone. I can cry again. And I do. Frustrated crying. Crying about pain, money, good news, while thanking God for the sweet little good bits in my day here and there. No I'm not a cry baby and I don't cry all the time but I tell ya when I am all up in my emotions things go so much better if I can release them. I think that even though I have titrated off I am still getting a little bit of withdrawal. Realizing it for what it is and letting it pass which is hard.

Been doing a little of breath based meditation with my icing. About ten minutes. I am at two times a day but I need to double that. What a pain in the ass. Since I have not been going to PT my pain has decreased quite a bit so am thinking that the wonderful massage was not as wonderful as it felt.

Let's see what I accomplished yesterday,

I got the cat poop I discovered yesterday in the salt room all cleaned up and kitties are banned from basement.

Did some cleaning and rearranging in basement. Christmas decor put away.

Some laundry.

Dishes are clean.

Toilet is clean.

Made a special box for kitties to lay in, a laundry basket copy cat. They wouldn't stay out of the laundry baskets so it came to me. Thank you Walmart for sending the perfect size box.

Made dinner.

i was mildly productive yesterday.

Would like to go back to guided meditation off of my phone and get rid of the animals while i am doing it.

Twice now we have seen a big beautiful fox crossing through the yard. I am afraid for both him and my boys. Though I think my boys are too big for him to go after I fear Dash may hurt him. I believe he has been pushed out of his home when they cleared a big swath through our green space for a damn business. Unfortunately he has moved closer to businesses and homes. Brandon happened to be here both times and carefully followed him. He found what he thinks is a shelter it is staying near.

We know someone lives in the little bit of woods out back. There is a makeshift shelter out there that is kept up. Nobody bothers it. They keep to themselves and we have never seen anyone though I do suspect I had a year that some wood went missing though I have so much it was a non issue. The other day I thought of taking something out there for whoever. I have some can goods and supplies that might be useful.

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