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I definitely am not

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liking the Trintillex. Think I am going to ask to discontinue and maybe not taking anything in the morning except my Neurontin. It is making me lethargic, lazy, uninterested in anything. My depression is not bad but it is because I am numb. I can't even cry when I need to. I went from one extreme to the other. so my anxiety is high because I sit here on the puter thinking instead of doing. Planning to discuss discontinuing the trintellix in the morning and the Latuda at night. Titrate down and try to get off of them. I am thinking of trying to go strictly MMJ to replace those meds. Also considering stopping my nortriptyline but I am so afraid my head aches will come back and my fibro will get worse. Though I am not sure how much worse it can get, I hate to imagine.

I went and had my second part of my right leg arterial ablation done Friday. When I got there only one other elderly lady was there and I whipped my bag of 16 medications up on the counter, the glass was closed and the receptionist was gone so I just signed in and left them there. The elderly lady got up to stretch her legs after we stared at depressing news on the tv and approached me and said 'that sure is a lot of meds you got there', I laughed and said I know and I hated it. Then she began to tell me about how her sister got her off of some of her meds by recommending she try MMJ and sure enough she was able to drop them. This included cholesterol meds. I told her my death certificate would say renal failure and not that I was poisoned by the medical community. After we talked about it for a while she got up and went and sat back down. The next patient in carried a shopping bag of meds like me and the lady peeked her head around the corner and we looked at each other and just smiled and shook our heads. When they took me back and got me prepped I lay there and there was only one other patient left talking to the nurse and I was trying not to eavesdrop but then she began to talk about how her friend recommeded MMJ for her pain and headaches and how amazing it worked for her she too was able to get off of some meds. She was trying to remember the sativa/indica upper/downer difference and me and my big mouth calls out 'sativa is an upper and indica is a downer' the nurse trotted her heinie down to me and says 'oh we got experience in the house' then begins to tell her story about how her sister uses it for pain and sleep and then it was my turn so I missed the end of the conversation.

Got jipped out of my relaxation meds by the tech. I wonder if the doc knows that his tech is talking people out of getting relaxation meds. Poor lady next to me went with none and she was scared. He claimed he couldn't find a good vein in her and instead of having someone else try he called her good and they allowed her to take one of her Klonopin that she had brought. Only she didn't know that by the time the Klonopin kicked in she would be done. BEt that tech did though. I got no sedation, he claimed they didn't usually give sedation for the 'lesser' leg meaning the lower. I think he was full of **** and is a bit of a masochist. Last time he gave me a whole MG of versed which did nothing. I told the doc and he said he was putting in my chart to raise the dosage. That was after the first one. When I go back I am telling on him lol. I cried though most of the procedure, yeah didn't take long but hurt like a sumbitch.

I am spending too much time on the computer in the morning but by the time I have gone through my newsfeed, checked the rescues and foster groups to see who needs help, try to get help for people, try to send people in the right direction, check on all the posts I am tagged in and see where I can help and tag other people to see if they can help, I have spent five hours on the computer because the requests for help never stop coming. Now that is depressing. It is like a job I am not getting paid for. LOL I guess it is a job. The gratitude you see in their eyes when they get fed, get well, get warm, find a soft spot to relax in, when Odin wraps his arms around my neck and hugs me to him I can feel his gratitude that he was saved and will not spend winter outdoors cold and hungry ever again. That all makes it worth it. When my feral rehab trusts me enough to roll onto her side and let me rub her belly that makes it worth it.

I have about five inches of snow out in my yard and I never even knew it was coming. I had planned to get a couple things done before the snow and now I can't until it is gone. It is supposed to rain soon so hopefully it will melt the snow and those last few things I can do. Just some things in the yard that need to go into the garage.

I have now been without a car since May. I checked my texts to CJ to find out. I have cabin fever so bad. He just got his signing bonus so says he is going to give me five hundred dollars for a car, if I need more I will have to borrow. I don't know what the hell I can get for that much but I have been looking. He just texted me and last minute tells me to be ready to be picked up today at four to look at cars. I have an obligation to go to the local PetSmart for our adoption event with two of my cats and now he is pissed because I can't go. Says he couldn't care less about my fostering. Bastard.

Think I am going to try to make this my last day smoking again. I am almost out of tobacco and I have a new home remedy to help with withdrawals. Cream of tartar and orange juice twice a day washes the nicotine out of the body way faster than without so I ordered a pound of cream of tartar because it only comes in small bottles and is expensive so it was cheaper for me to get a pound from amazon. I will get a couple of cans of concentrate and see how it goes. I can't seem to make it through that third day. Maybe this will help.

Lots of blah, blah, blah. Oh and before I forget I found this most wonderful thing check this out for anyone reading this. I wish it was in my state or I could at least afford to go have it done.

Updated 11-21-2019 at 06:53 AM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


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