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Looks like fall

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is slowing moving in. Looking forward to cooler days. My yard still is not totally finished. I have been cleaning the back forty but the damn mower belt came off again. I felt it and it has a nice chunk out of it so ordered a new one. Now I have to figure out how to put it on. I think CJ did it last time. I can fix it. Hopefully it will let me mow a little before I replace it cause it may be a bit.

I started this blog as a place to vent and so that I could keep track of the changes I made. The only thing I have changed is that I make my bed. Lol how does that rate LOL. Do I want to change? Yes badly but obviously not bad enough. It is so hard. I am going to focus again on trying to quit smoking. My health just may depend on it. I need to get it back to forefront of my mind. Quite frankly this rolling your own sucks really bad anyway. Rarely do I preroll any, I would just smoke more, thank God that cigarettes by the pack are so expensive or I would smoke twice as much. Funny cause I was just in a daze thinking that I need a new roller. Maybe not. I really wish the Chantix would not have made me so sick because I could feel it working after only two days but it just pushed me over the edge and I would be sick as a dog by day three I was bedridden and stopped it. So I guess I am making quitting smoking a goal. I need a quit date to start then keep it in my mind constantly. Positive self talk. Spread it around so I will feel accountable. Maybe this time use the patches and see if they make me sick.

Am fostering two new cats for Los Gatos, one of their fosters got reported by a brand new neighbor in her trailer park as having two many animals so she not only called animal control but she called the police then adult protective services and reported her as a hoarder. So she had to move all of her kitties to Kitty City and some other fosters and they only let her keep her two dogs. In five years she has fostered over 400 kitties and found new homes or barns for them. Wow. I can only wish to aspire to that level of dedication. She works and uses much of her own money to fund her endeavors. So she brought her last two favorites to me and they are in my foster room. Very shy so I am making slow friends with them. Or trying anyway lol.

I heard from Julia from here. She FBed me. I was so happy and wrote her a long message but her response was disconcerting as she just repeated herself after she acknowledged that she knew who I was. She must have joined another online group because she kept referring back to it. Not to BT. She looks so frail in her pictures. I am devastated. I love her and miss her. I think of her constantly. I think I will send her a card. Maybe it will bring some recall.

The weather is absolutely delicious, sweater weather already when usually in mid August we are baking. Been burning stuff out in the back forty, trying to get my yard together and almost took a header out by the fire pit. Kripes am I old enough for one of those button alerts.

the new medication seems to be working I guess. I haven't been as emotional and then when I do feel like crying I get a half start and then it is gone.


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