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Not sure what to do with myself today.

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It is supposed to drizzle all day long on and off. My pain levels have been ridiculous the last four days. If I can get to my spot later in the day and rest and watch tv then the next day isn't so bad but if I do all my usual during the day then stand in the kitchen for however long it takes to make dinner my knees are ruined the next day. Like today. I overworked myself on Tuesday, took wednesday off except for dinner then was on my feet Thursday in a cleaning mode all day then dinner so yesterday I was wasted but tried to work yesterday morning which didn't work out so good then made dinner so this morning I can barely walk. My knees are wasted. The weather keeps switching so my fibro and every other pain point is in constant moan mode especially like today when it is all cloudy and weepy out.

I know I need to lose some more weight. I lost that 60 pounds and my knees started feeling so much better now it is like they have adjusted and now are demanding that I lose more. So hard when it hurts to move. I have been getting out on the Gazelle here and there whether I work or not. Fast food has fallen to the wayside as I am broke all the time. Jared has lost 13 pounds which is wonderful. Don't know if I have lost due to it or not. Probably not since I like my pop and sweets. I am in this awkward stage of my clothing, almost everything is either too big or too small so I wind up wearing clothes that are voluminous on me and most everything that I have that does fit is ancient and stained.

My car is still broke down only now it is mostly disassembled. CJ is to work on it again tomorrow but I am pretty sure it will not be fixed. Another damn week without a car. I am way over it.

I think my mother's weeping willow is sick. The bark is peeling off in big chunks. Still haven't gone out to look more intensively. Just too depressing.

I am sick of cleaning the kitchen on my own, have been doing it since I was like 12, kriminy, 42 years I have been cleaning my kitchen and I am dang tired of it. No help from the boys so I have developed a system where we each have our own set of dishes and silverware and those are the only ones to be used and we are responsible for our own set. Cup, sandwich plate, dinner plate, bowl, butter knife, fork, spoon. I am going to bake our initial on the bottom of each with permanent marker and all the extra dishes are going to be put away for possible use in the future such as holiday dinner with company. I will still be responsible for pots and pans and any extras I use in the process of making dinner but anything they dirty they have to clean. I am a clean as I go cook so I wash a lot of the prep dishes as I am cooking so that helps.

Don't know what to do today, rest, work on basement, work on garage some more. Maybe I should just rest up.


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