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Wow this weather

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has my body in fits. My pain levels are so bad I laid in bed and cried yesterday afternoon. Smoked some MMJ and it helped quite a bit but I never did get my nap. I hadn't even done that much that morning though I had been out and about. Wow two places, kripes. I can't get anything done. I still have not finished the screen though it is simple. I have one panel up but not trimmed. The weather has been rainy for days it seems. Not conducive to much of anything outdoors.

My basement cleaning, my fence raising, my screen replacing, my house in general is suffering because of my pain levels. I can get back injections, knee injections, orthotics all these things that are supposed to ease my pain but then they tell me to take it easy. I am 54 yrs old not dead. I dread 5, 10 yrs down the road. What will my pain levels be then? Will I be wheelchair bound? They can't replace my feet. Said surgery was an option in the future but all I see there is just more unending pain. Knee replacement is a possibility in the future I am sure. If I could change one thing in my life it would be the pain. Would I sell my soul to be pain free, according to Supernatural I can sell my soul to a cross roads demon and get 10 fantastic years of whatever I wish for and in 10 yrs the demon collects. 10 yrs seems a long time when you are 54 and in constant pain and live with a heightened sense of anxiety and dread 24/7. Wouldn't happen because God in my soul loves life.

I have been seeing articles on how complaining changes the brain. Do I complain? I complain here. I complain to my boys. I often have to explain my pain levels to those I am volunteering with as an explanation as to why I am limited in what I can do. Is that complaining? I don't complain to strangers but I have gotten into conversations with others who suffer as I do based maybe on a comment they made. We commiserate with each other. It is getting nice enough out for me to leave the Gazelle on the patio and use it when I take the dogs out. I get a workout and fresh air. Forget waiting to get it in the house. I don't particularly want it in the living room anyway.

My mower is still down. Waiting to get the starter ordered. My lawn is overdue to be mowed already lol. It is a thick luscious green right now but it is really tall in patches. May have to pay the neighbor man to mow it for a first time. My new tires did come though. For as much as I paid for them and the picture I thought I was getting a rim also but no so I will have to take them into the local tire shop and have it done.

My little Odin, oh what a sweet baby. Jared is begging me to keep him. We already have two dogs and two cats. Then again many of the people I am friends with have five cats and four dogs so we would be no different lol. Kripes I can't afford to feed all these animals we have right now and I discovered that somewhere in my contract with Los Gatos it says that I am responsible for food. Missed that though I feel like somewhere in all of those pages I may have seen that. I will not be able to foster for them again. I cannot afford it. I have four of their cats right now who also get soft food and litter. Dachshund Haus will also have to be a no as they are already paying for Skyler for the rest of his life and they do not provide food to their regular fosters. I will find somewhere.

Updated 05-03-2019 at 03:35 AM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


  1. funnylegs4's Avatar
    I'm so so sorry your pain is so bad!!! I had no idea! A lot of people have relief from knee replacement so if you go that route I pray it brings relief to you as well. Its okay to vent.
  2. houghchrst's Avatar
    Thank you.
  3. funnylegs4's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by houghchrst
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Thank you.
    You're very welcome!

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