houghchrst

is here and since my self make over is failing I am trying to decide if I should get back on track or if I should stop beating myself up for all the ways I'm not. All the things I'm not. The things I'm not doing, the things in my life I haven't changed. I am getting things done, nothing major but they are getting done. I am fostering which is fulfilling and enjoyable, my house is a mess, my kitchen is disgusting as usual. Jared does very little around here any more. Just the most basic of what I tell him and then it is usually a half assed job. If anything I need to start getting on him.

I am in the midst of a pretty bad case of withdrawal thanks to a missed psych appt and refusal to refill until I see him. My bad. so I am without a few meds. The neurontin withdrawal was the worst. In bed for days. Crying, miserable. My own fault.