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I have got to stop

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getting up so early. I am going to force myself to stay up later. No more 8:30 bedtimes. I will have to stay up too not just lay in bed and read because I do not last long. Start watching a movie or something before bed.

I haven't been exercising but I have been trying to stay somewhat busy during the day. My Game Night party is tomorrow night. Already had two who said they couldn't come. May have a drink, just one or two, don't want to mix all these damn meds with alcohol. I only have a few things to do to get the house ready because I have been keeping up with the cleaning. just mop floors and once over to the bathroom. I am embarrassed about my house but really I have lived in way worse. This is a dream compared to everywhere else I have lived.

I got rid of three boxes and one garbage bag of stuff the other day. Gave it out on Craigslist. There may be more but I am considering a yard sale in the spring for some extra money.

I found out the other day that Brandon's back child support is almost paid off and that will be another income that is going to dry up about $200 a month. I cannot live on $755 a month. Jared's child support quits when he is 18 at the end of January unless he is in school that is $300 gone. I have already been contemplating what I would take with me if I had to downsize. I have so many things that were given to me or that were my mom's or grandma's. I could not possibly take everything. I have even wondered about senior housing. I don't think I am old enough to qualify yet.

What would I do with my half ownership of the house. I would rather die then see the house sold to a stranger. I wouldn't even mind having a tiny home on the property and let my brother move into the 'big house'. I don't know what I will do. I have contemplated getting a job. Maybe driving or something

Had to run out to the corner market, it sleeted and snowed last night so everything is covered in wet snow. Is beautiful. Kind of early for us to get snow so I am sure it is not here to stay. Have all my fall/thanksgiving decorations up. mostly pumpkins and fall leaves, pretty candles, etc.

Brandon has been coming almost every morning for the last week. He is lonely, hates his grandma and being there. Misses the kids. He is doing better emotionally but Jen is playing games. Cheating on this guy she is supposed to be in a relationship with and leading Brandon on. He is pretty sure they will get back together. I would rather not. If she can do this to him now what is stopping her from doing it again. He loves her and I do believe she loves him she just went into panic survival mode. They were stuck. nothing I can do but listen and console, get to throw in my two cents once in a while but I am careful what I say.

Going to quit smoking on monday again, not making a big deal of it again. It is actually the anniversary since I quit in 2005. The Monday before Thanksgiving. Started again June 29th 2010.

Have appt today with Vein institute but have not decided if I really want to go or reschedule. It is this afternoon and I don't do afternoons well unless it is napping. I must go this doc can give me some insight into what is going on. Sure there will be a scan or something.

Drat it is snowing again. If it snows all day tomorrow game night will be screwed. We will have to reschedule.


  1. funnylegs4's Avatar
    I find anywhere between 9:00pm and 10:30pm to be the best falling asleep schedule for me.
  2. houghchrst's Avatar
    Me too, I may get in bed at 8 but I will read until about 9:30, 10
  3. funnylegs4's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by houghchrst
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Me too, I may get in bed at 8 but I will read until about 9:30, 10
    It's a great idea to read before bed!

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