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Another Sunday

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Need to quit smoking again. If I can just get through what they call the first stage which is usually the first three or four days it gets easier. I need to put up my post it notes but this wall paint is not conducive to those sticking so I will have to try scotch tape. All my reasons for quitting smoking. The gum really does help. Do I keep saying that? Feels like I keep saying that, maybe trying to convince myself.

Going to try to get to the bathroom today. Want to go through some things in there that I know can go. Have a good sized box almost full up.

Replaced basement plumbing is leaking again so CJ has to come today to try to fix it again. Which means I have to go get him. Sick of sharing my car. I usually just let him have it because I am not making the thirty minute drive to take him home and then getting back here at midnight.

Despite the stress I still feel good. For the first time in a long time my meds are caught up and haven't had to worry about the damn withdrawals for a while. I love using that Gazelle but man it tears my knees up still. You are supposed to slightly bend your knees and use them to help propel the legs back and forth but man it hurts afterwards. I am hoping if I do it enough that will pass. Am going to order the feet today so I can get it in here. I checked and they are only two fifty each.

Coming back the next day, was interrupted by Brandon and his drama, he has been coming in the mornings and crying about Jen and the kids and losing them. It is very stressful. He keeps making excuses for not moving forward. He is finally getting it and trying to prove himself now.

CJ came and could not fix the pipes. Even though they have all been resealed. He is going to go with plastic. I have to go down and clean up because everywhere is soaked again thanks to his bumbling his way through the whole process. If I had an experienced well plumber it would have been done a long time ago.

Well Brandon came in and I had to go so this is a three day process for one post. Not feeling depressed, the anxiety is always hovering and made worse by my smoking and wanting to quit.

got to go to my club for a little bit yesterday. want to get back to my at least once a week. I am losing touch with everyone. Socializing I miss.

Game night is coming and I am nervous about that. I hope it works out. Not to mention a friend's surprise party before then. Kripes I think that is next weekend.

Taking my meds faithfully, gonna work on the Gazelle today. No fancy moves just my regular gliding. I think my experimenting with different ways to work out are what is tearing up my knees.

I have been trying not to let Brandon's situation drag me down. I can listen to him, sympathize, even cry with him but I have to keep my mental distance for my own mental well being. That kid has been through his own personal hell and things just don't seem to get better for him. It is painful to watch but he is a grown man will have to maneuver around to adjust his own life with love and support but no involvement from me.

Okay have to end this, it just keeps dragging on cause I get distracted lol.

Updated 10-23-2018 at 07:46 AM by houghchrst

Chris is babbling again.


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